[John can't stay laying down for this. He has to resume command. Assume damage control. He sits up, throwing his legs over the side of the examination tables. He wipes any traces of wetness away from his face with the close and throws it down.
John's still blind, but he doesn't need to see Carson's face to imagine it. He looks at Carson with unseeing eyes, trying to appear strong, even though he's close to crumbling.
One thing at a time. Elizabeth, Michael, and everything else can come later.]
He lived.
[Of course Carson asks after the patient. That's who he is, and why everyone who meets him loves him. Losing him left a permanent hole in Atlantis, bigger than most. With his loss, Atlantis started taking on water. After Elizabeth, it nearly sunk. John doesn't know how they've kept it afloat this long without them. He can barely keep his own head above water. He tries his best to hold onto everyone, but there are waves, and they're so much bigger than him. John is never enough.
Now it's just the three of them, and John won't let anything happen to Rodney, or Carson, ever again. He will watch them. He will protect them. He will die for them, if dying is what it takes.
He reaches out for Carson's arm, gripping firmly when he makes contact. With all he has in him. With all the strength he doesn't have, but always finds, for the people he loves.]
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John's still blind, but he doesn't need to see Carson's face to imagine it. He looks at Carson with unseeing eyes, trying to appear strong, even though he's close to crumbling.
One thing at a time. Elizabeth, Michael, and everything else can come later.]
He lived.
[Of course Carson asks after the patient. That's who he is, and why everyone who meets him loves him. Losing him left a permanent hole in Atlantis, bigger than most. With his loss, Atlantis started taking on water. After Elizabeth, it nearly sunk. John doesn't know how they've kept it afloat this long without them. He can barely keep his own head above water. He tries his best to hold onto everyone, but there are waves, and they're so much bigger than him. John is never enough.
Now it's just the three of them, and John won't let anything happen to Rodney, or Carson, ever again. He will watch them. He will protect them. He will die for them, if dying is what it takes.
He reaches out for Carson's arm, gripping firmly when he makes contact. With all he has in him. With all the strength he doesn't have, but always finds, for the people he loves.]
You were a hero.