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riverviewlogs2018-02-27 08:14 pm
wayfaring_stranger) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-02-27 08:14 pm
Secrets | Closed
who: Jace Wayland, Isabelle Lightwood
what: Keeping secrets.
when: Feb 27th
where: Jace is in his room, texting Izzy (wherever she may be).
warnings: Will update as needed.
Jace checked the hallway before shutting his bedroom door and picking up his phone. He text Izzy after falling back onto his bed. He's not worried. Not at all. Izzy wouldn't repeat a secret he told her while they were sparring. Partly because he'd wanted to give her something else to focus on other than Max. Partly because he needed someone to tell him he was being stupid and to get over himself.
Meet me in my room.
He hit send and dropped his phone on the bed.
what: Keeping secrets.
when: Feb 27th
where: Jace is in his room, texting Izzy (wherever she may be).
warnings: Will update as needed.
Jace checked the hallway before shutting his bedroom door and picking up his phone. He text Izzy after falling back onto his bed. He's not worried. Not at all. Izzy wouldn't repeat a secret he told her while they were sparring. Partly because he'd wanted to give her something else to focus on other than Max. Partly because he needed someone to tell him he was being stupid and to get over himself.
Meet me in my room.
He hit send and dropped his phone on the bed.
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OMW home now. Be there in 5ish.
True to her word, it Takes Izzy about four minutes and some change before she lets herself into the Lightwood-Bane-Wayland-Name-Menagerie home. Rather than going to her own room to drop off the purse, or anything else, Iz beelines for Jace's room...uncertain as to what it is he might want to tell her now - maybe even half wondering if there are more secrets that he wants to impart, or what? Wrapping on the door in three short, staccato knocks, Izzy reaches for the handle and lets herself in. "It's just me." Slipping inside, the shadowhunter closes the door behind her and levels the blonde with a look, eyebrows lifted. "Dare I ask?"
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He gives her an innocent smile, twirling his stele between his fingers and patting the bed next to him to invite her to come sit.
"So...how was your day?"
They both know he did not ask her to meet him here for small talk.
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And promptly rolling her eyes, playfully.
"Well, if you really want to know - I could tell you all about the trouble I had trying to use the smallest sample that I possibly could have been given to test for pretty much everything under the son, but somehow I'm convined that you don't want to be bored by hearing about my day at work." Izzy cocks her head, reaching over and giving Jace a playful shove as she angles her body his way, her attention on the other shadowhunter.
"Spill. Or I'll go into very specific scientific detail and bore you to death."
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So he blurted out, "I told Alec I'm bisexual." Which was true only because he had to find a way to give the confusing mess he was trying to figure out a name and only part of the reason he needed to speak to Izzy. "You didn't tell him or Magnus what I told you. Did you?"
Not that he expected Izzy to share anyone's secret. She knew how to keep a secret. She was a badass Shadowhunter, not just his sister and friend. But he had to be sure and he was kind of hoping she'd knock some sense into him.
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She's actually glad that it doesn't take Jace long to tell her what's on his mind. Because as much as she tries - patience is not exactly one of her best characteristics. And that's because she struggles with it. In some instances maybe not as much, but something like this, where she's summoned, she wants to know what is happening and what is on his mind. And hearing the big news, the thing that Jace was bursting to tell her Izzy can't quite hold back her smile. Honesty is better, after all. "And?" She encourages - obviously wanting to know more.
Though, she does have to stop long enough to roll her eyes at her brother. "Are you really asking me that right now? When have I ever shared secrets told to me? The answer: never." Izzy points out, that sass creeping back into her tone as she reaches out and pats his cheek, a little bit teasingly. "I haven't told anyone, it's nobody's business, anyway. Now continue."
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He's leaving out a few details.
"I...may have...played a stupidly romantic love song. And sang to him."
And his voice may have gotten softer there at the end while averting his gaze for a moment.
"I don't know if I'm relieved he didn't react or disappointed. I don't even know why I told him. He's going to tell Magnus. Mangus is going to tell Alec I nearly kissed him while naked in a pool." This whole situation was getting completely out of control and he had only himself to blame. "I have serious impulse control issues."
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Or it should be anyway.
Feelings never have been Alec or Jace's thing, but Izzy can't quite help but note how intimate, how quiet, Jace gets talking about seranading Alec. Parabatai are almos the epitome of intimacy, but even they take it further than 'ideal'. Rolling her eyes, actively, now Izzy can't help but shove Jace, lightly. "What's to be disappointed about? He'd never judge you for your sexuality - and if you don't want him to tell Magnus you need to make that clear to him, you know he'll respect you if you ask for it." Iz points out, knowing without a doubt that she's right. Alec would never betray anybody, particularly his parabatai. "Magnus talking to Alec, well...."
Izzy leans back on her arms, crossing her legs carefully while considering. "That's probably something you should talk to Alec about yourself if you don't want it coming from Magnus. Or at least talk to everyone's favorite warlock yourself first to resolve it between the two of you." Izzy doesn't mind being the go-to for everyone with this kind of stuff. In fact, she'd rather be included than not. "As for your impulse control issues - I could get you a rubber band to flick yourself with, but counting to ten before you make a decision might do a world of difference for you, Jace - that's if you want to y'know stop being one of the most impulsive people I know."
She's teasing, and yet...it's true.
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He shook his head and started pacing again, back and forth in front of Izzy. It's too late. He knows this.
"I can't ask them to keep secrets from each other." And then he looked at Izzy as if that was a horrible idea. He thought it was a horrible idea for several reasons. "Alec already knows I broke my promise not to drink. He hasn't said anything, but I know he knows. If I tell him I was drunk flirting with his husband while naked he'll-I don't know what he'll do, but I imagine pain and misery for all eternity. And Magnus only tolerates me for Alec. If Alec knows I broke my promise so does Magnus. He's not going to listen and why would he believe me. He probably doesn't even like me. No. I know he doesn't. No matter how much time I spent on his Christmas gift."
The last part is muttered under his breath right before he pushes his fingers through his hair and takes a deep breath.
"There is nothing to resolve. Neither of them have to know. I just need to not be in love. If this is love. If I tell Magnus or Alec they'll tell me exactly what I should already know. I'm not in love. Because what the hell do I know about love? Because I can't be in love with my parabatai. I can't be falling in love with his husband. Just saying it sounds insane. And selfish. No. I'm not telling them so they can give me the rejection speech."
There was definitely something wrong with him.
"Izzy." He stopped pacing, sat down next to his sister, and fell back onto the bed. "Would you be my rubberband? Every time you catch me staring at Alec's ass or licking my lips thinking about kissing Magnus just...hit me. As hard as you can." And then he dragged his pillow over his face.
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The boys - Alec, Jace, and even Magnus - are all making their lives complicated; at least, that's the way that Izzy sees it.
Remaining in the position she's in, leaned back against her arms, Izzy's face doesn't really change expression by much while she listens. "If you don't want to encourage secrets then isn't the alternative pretty obvious? You tell Magnus, or the three of you all talk about it. In this house...there's not much we're going to get passed each other." And Izzy knows, without a doubt, that that's the truth. Three shadowhunters and a warlock....none of them are stupid. They're all pretty aware of the things going on around them, and each other. "Right now you're imagining what's going to happen when you don't actually know and scaring yourself. And telling yourself that you should be keeping secrets, since you don't want to talk to them or ask them to isn't any better." Izzy's pretty sure she's the person in this family with the least amount of relationship drama at the moment.
How did that happen?
"If you want Magnus to do more than tolerate you...you can put that work in." Izzy feels as ifs he's telling Jace things that he already knows here. He's the one talking himself out of addressing, or doing anything, about all of this. Rolling her eyes, Izzy finally sits up. "You don't know how any of it'll go if I'm the only person that you tell - because I'm not Magnus or Alec. And even though I could take guesses...I have no idea how they'll actually react. Just like you don't - even if you are Alec's parabatai. You're just afraid of rejection so you're avoiding putting yourself out there and coming to some sort of resolution with all of this."
When in reality that would be the solution....to literally all of his problems.
Watching Jace sit down next to her and then flop back, Izzy turns while looking down at the blond. And the laughter that comes out isn't even held back. "Trust me you don't want to ask me to do that because you'd end up very bruised. And it'd only draw more attention to you by doing it." And with that being said, Izzy makes her point. Drawing her hand into a fist she strikes out automatically - though without full force, just a portion of what she's capable of - and punches him in the bicep.
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Jace had never said anything either. Even when he'd realized Alec's feelings for him. If he'd known then what he knew now things could have been different. Except Alec was in love and MARRIED to Magnus so none of this mattered. Alec was happy now. Happier than he'd ever seen him.
And Magnus....how did this even happen?
Jace got so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't expect the punch. It actually hurt, which was good, something he needed. He knew Izzy could hit harder than that though so he pulled the pillow away and gave her a 'really?' look before sitting up.
"I thought I had been putting in the work. I've cooked for him. Made him a Christmas present. I've tried not to be my usual charming self." The reality was just hard to accept. "Rejection is inevitable, Iz. Alec and Magnus are married. They're perfect for each other. They're happy."
But Izzy was right. He needed some sort of resolution or he was going to go insane running in circles in his head.
"You really think I should tell them both how I feel?"
Maybe the resolution he needed was being rejected.
"Alec will never look at me the same way. Magnus will probably avoid me completely. I wouldn't be surprised if they asked me to move out." He couldn't hide the fear and pain he felt when he looked at Izzy. "Are you sure you want the burden of being the only person who isn't avoiding me?"