Forgive me, hearer, I cannot stay

[burntbridges]

who: Letha Regis, Winter Regis-Ivarsdottir, and all their friends.
what: Catch-all log for late February and early March; Letha reintegrates into society
when: Feb 24 forward
where: Alllll over the place.
warnings: Post-partum depression, homicidal/suicidal thoughts, Letha's tactless attempts to treat others like human beings, and possible accidental child injury. It's okay though, the baby heals quickly.

--

(This is a fake cut because there are a LOT of prompts, starters are below.)

Comments

[threatenwithcuteness]

"I remember you calling her a monster. Because she's different. And that I didn't understand then."

Sadly, Letha, Lola can't understand. Her own burden is to know what being the girl abandoned by her mother feels like. And even if Winter is too young, so what? It doesn't changed how it happened. "You left Ivar with a baby, which he loves and cares for because he loves her and cares for her. Whatever in his past left him as messed up as he is hasn't taken away his ability to care about children. He spent nights caring for her, feeding her, buying those ugly but kinda cute dresses he puts her in. And you're surprised he won't give her back? And surprised he doesn't want you back?"

There's a level of disbelief at the end, given how Letha talks about Ivar, Lola does understand that's just how the two have always been. A hair away from murdering each other. Or, is it manslaughter? Lola doesn't get the difference. The point is that she doesn't get how, after leaving, Ivar might hold some reservations. Because unlike Winter, he can remember. And unlike Winter, this is not his first betrayal. "I'm glad that you were a blushing virgin when you and Ivar did anything, because you couldn't possibly do anything with Ivar if you did things with someone else. Sex is actually kinda easy, once you know all the parts involved."

[burntbridges]

"Well, maybe I wanted to treat her the way Ivar does. I was excited before she was born, I was ready for it. She was going to be trained to fight monsters, and speak to the dead, and Ivar and I would get married and everything would be wonderful forever." She huffs. "And she's beautiful, isn't she? She looks just like me the way my hair is right now. But if everyone kept telling you you were holding a puppy, and you could plainly see a rat in your hands, wouldn't you feel like you were doing something wrong? Like you were broken, somehow, for not seeing what everyone else did?"

She purses her lips.

"I cannot explain everything that is wrong with my daughter because I don't know all of it. Healers are- scary stories that we tell at night, like changelings and imps. They're parasites, they latch onto the mind of those around them and make them fear death. Make them willing to do anything a healer wishes, so long as they are promised a few more days of life. It's a disease for the natural order of things, and I birthed one. And it's all my fault, because I was communing with the dead when I wasn't supposed to and I got myself wrapped up in a fate worse than death. My daughter is the way she is because of me, that's why I couldn't bear to be near her."

Her eyes lock onto the table, and she ends up grabbing a spoon and shaping what's left of her potatoes into abstract shapes instead of eating them. And then, at that last comment, he glances around before focusing on Lola.

"I don't have to spell out the problems with that, do I? I bore another man's child before I slept with him. And his... manhood, doesn't work. It's weak, like his legs. It would only work with a woman, I would think."

[threatenwithcuteness]

"I don't really hold Winter, but she looked like a baby. I mean sure, I look in her eyes and I see all those expressions that prove she's alive and real, but she's a baby. Nothing more, nothing less. She really likes the feeling of my healing power and when Ivar tells her stories. Like a baby." Lola didn't like babies, not really. But they were alive, and that's easy enough to respect.

Lola's trying to get something out of the big speech about healers but all she got was 'blah blah weird necromancer bigotry' and self hatred. It wasn't like she could say 'that's stupid' no matter how much she wanted to. Instead, she got an out with the last comment. Lola's eyes went wide, and then she leveled a cool glare.

"I'm not Dolores, but I do have her memories, about sleeping with the other Ivar. I know what he is and isn't capable of. I'm sure he and Marco can figure out some enjoyable activities that are none of our business." Stop reminding Lola she has these memories, she'd rather not bring them out unless she has to.

[burntbridges]

"It's my business, at least, if not yours."

If Lola isn't going to listen to her necromantic bigotry, she'll just have to cling onto the pettier argument. While she pointlessly stabs at her potatoes.

"I wasn't gone for that long... and now he's gone, by his own choice, for who knows how long. He won't even let me near my child when he isn't here to be the better parent." She purses her lips again, and her shoulders slump before she pops up with another burst of anger. "Why did he move on so fast? I never even met Marco, I left for three months and suddenly they were lovers. We were perfect together, how could he just forget and move on as if it didn't even- you have healing powers? Wh- since when?"

That just sort of... hit her, right at that exact moment.

[threatenwithcuteness]

Lola, for once, isn't going to pick a fight she can't win. Which would be trying to explain how much Ivar's love life isn't her business. Nor will she focus on how much time Ivar and Letha had before they got together either. Cause Lola was here for that too.

"He's a viking, I don't think he really knows how to dwell. Some people just move on, it didn't take me long to move on from Yuffie either," Not that that was very serious. Or a thing Lola got to tell Letha about. As to the other topic.

"You weren't here when I finally figured out why I was tired all the time. If I focus on someone their injuries heal faster. Or, in Winter's case, she giggles. It's a thing I do." Lola wasn't exactly the same Lola she was months ago either.

[burntbridges]

Letha is about to state that she didn't know Yuffie either, but... yes. That's Lola's point, isn't it. Just how much has Letha been missing because she forgets that other people's lives don't revolve around her?

That's a pretty startling thing to consider, and she quickly decides to forget about it.

"So... you're immune to her. Because you can.. heal." She's definitely not happy with that, but... well. "Do you know how to stop yourself? There's someone else here who is the same sort of creature that Winter is- well, not exactly, but something very similar. We talked briefly about- turning Winter's powers off, so that I could approach her safely. That sort of thing." She pauses, "I don't mean to do it without Ivar's permission, of course."

[threatenwithcuteness]

"Never really tested, I don't hold her. But she likes to drain life energy, and I can sorta send life energy too her. In a controlled way I guess?" Lola was dismissive and generally quick in her words on this, it was an irritant, nothing she liked to focus on. Stupid magic nonsense, and Lola hated stupid magic nonsense. Her stuff was stupid science nonsense, and that was merely marginally better.

"I can handle my own powers," except when she can't, but that isn't nearly so common. "If they can help handle Winter's powers, and Ivar's okay with it, it isn't really my business. And I have enough to do with my time."

Like, this break, that she planned to spend pouring over business textbooks and other learning aids. But she was here, instead, trying to hash out a bunch of things that were either not her business, or wouldn't be solved in her dwindling break.