[he's feeling like a third wheel at the same time he's feeling like he just might be a little bit in love with jyn. how Unfortunate. the cat circles around his feet, almost like it senses his Internal Distress and is trying to be helpful.]
[maybe he'll just run tomorrow!!! run till he drops!! no he won't because he's not that stupid, but he is definitely not going to be home so it's time to figure out how to drown himself in work at the guard, alongside an extra little run. if there's anything cassian is good at, it's swallowing down and shrinking his emotions into neat little boxes and stacking them away to ignore until the spring cleaning that never comes because spring is slowly disappearing thanks to climate change.]
[he does try to turn it off though, because he doesn't want to overanalyze it now, least of all in front of them both. he doesn't want to be jealous, he just wants jyn to be happy. maybe she could be happy with jim!]
[love. yeah okay sounds fake, but it's here, apparently, burrowing in his chest and that's terrifying. he'd like to say he's only dimly aware of what they're discussing, but he's cassian andor rebel spy so he's paying attention to every detail on instinct. he should just! turn off all of the emotions! but he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to do that anymore. maybe he can put it on pause. or temporary mute. the tension slips out of his shoulders, but his body stays stiff. more closed off. there's a difference.]
[he can't just stand here rinsing dishes but he really has no desire to go back to the table right now. she's busy with jim, maybe he can just. open the dishwasher. which he does. slowly, like maybe she won't notice.]
no subject
[maybe he'll just run tomorrow!!! run till he drops!! no he won't because he's not that stupid, but he is definitely not going to be home so it's time to figure out how to drown himself in work at the guard, alongside an extra little run. if there's anything cassian is good at, it's swallowing down and shrinking his emotions into neat little boxes and stacking them away to ignore until the spring cleaning that never comes because spring is slowly disappearing thanks to climate change.]
[he does try to turn it off though, because he doesn't want to overanalyze it now, least of all in front of them both. he doesn't want to be jealous, he just wants jyn to be happy. maybe she could be happy with jim!]
[love. yeah okay sounds fake, but it's here, apparently, burrowing in his chest and that's terrifying. he'd like to say he's only dimly aware of what they're discussing, but he's cassian andor rebel spy so he's paying attention to every detail on instinct. he should just! turn off all of the emotions! but he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to do that anymore. maybe he can put it on pause. or temporary mute. the tension slips out of his shoulders, but his body stays stiff. more closed off. there's a difference.]
[he can't just stand here rinsing dishes but he really has no desire to go back to the table right now. she's busy with jim, maybe he can just. open the dishwasher. which he does. slowly, like maybe she won't notice.]