[ open ] call it your 2.0, your rebirth, whatever

[franciscoramon]

who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all + tdm prompts + fajro prompts
when: february
where: various places!
warnings: will add as needed

I. DREAM A LITTLE DREAM

[ Cisco thought that the crystal caves sounded exactly like something from a fantasy series he had loved as a child, so of course, he dragged Eddie to go and see them with him. There had been nothing ominous about the place, at the time. It isn't until a few days later that Cisco's dreams start to show the sign of outside influence. They become vivid, surreal, and most importantly, he starts having guests. A few times he'll have a passing thought about a friend before falling asleep, only to run into them in his dream. He's no stranger to unusual dreams, and - after what had happened in October - not even a stranger to encountering other people in them.

But it's still pretty damn weird. ]

You see that, right? It's not just me?

[ Cisco asks the question to whoever is standing next to him, pointing down an empty city street at the looming figure of what is, unmistakably, a Godzilla-sized robotic panda. ]

II. CLEANING HOUSE

[ Cisco had rolled his eyes at first at the idea of a whole holiday based around cleaning. What could be less fun? He's always been somewhat inclined to keep stuff. After all, you never know what use it could be later. He spends plenty of his time scavenging the things other people left behind in the abandoned parts of the city, for materials and parts for his work.

But once he and Eddie decide to share the same room, he realizes he is going to have to get rid of at least some of his stuff, to make room. So he reluctantly starts, only to find himself getting more and more into the task. He can be seen either having a cute little yard sale to get rid of various items (clothing, books, etc.), or else taking what remains after the sale down to the bonfires by the river. ]

III. CLEARING THE AIR

[ Along with everyone else in the Quarantine, as the month progresses, he finds himself dwelling on resentments from his past. Unfortunately for Cisco, most of those resentments pertain to people who aren't even here. Once the 15th rolls around, he finds that his sense of taste has vanished completely. A few conversations with others tell him that this is probably something to do with the holiday, that he needs to clear the air.

But what is he supposed to do, when the people he's feeling resentful towards aren't even here?

So Cisco can be found all that week making his way around town, sitting in a park or perhaps at a bar, slump-shouldered and wan and uncomfortable, needing (but not knowing it) someone to talk to. A good heart-to-heart will put things right, but he's not aware of that yet.

He is also, despite his distraction, more than happy to listen to others' woes, or any resentments held against him. ]

Comments

[dancingmd]

Cisco, don't worry, I believe you.

[One of the side effects of the admittedly strange life she's led: she's willing to believe in the weird and even the impossible.]

I was just brushing my hair a minute ago.

[Fortunately, she's already dressed so he's spared that at least. Frowning, she touches the back of her neck, where there's the fading scar of the PSI-wave implant that had been there when she came through the portal. Clearly, whatever is happening isn't that exactly, but it might be similar.]

Could you... feel anything?

[franciscoramon]

Oh, thank god.

[ He isn't going entirely crazy, then. And Beverly believes him, just like that, which is wonderful in ways he doesn't even have time to think about just at the moment. For now, he wants to focus on solving this newest mystery. Her question catches him off guard, but after a few moments of blinking, he answers honestly: ]

I- a little.

[ It had been overshadowed by his shock at seeing a different face in the mirror, but in the moments leading up to it, in the vision, there had been a feeling. A sadness. A feeling of... lacking someone important, in a way that Cisco doesn't really have words for. ]

Homesickness, sort of. But like, for someone, not somewhere.

[ His tone is apologetic; he hadn't meant to pry on her life or her emotions, but here they both are. ]

[dancingmd]

Wesley.

[She sighs softly into her phone and doesn't speak for a moment. It's not a matter of trust, no. She trust Cisco implicitly. Nonetheless, she has a hard time letting anyone, save for Lucretia and perhaps Kirk, see how intense her homesickness can be. Not everyone wants to go home as badly as she does and she knows what a blessing this place can be for them. And in general, she doesn't want to burden anyone else with her sadness.]

I was thinking about him this morning.

[franciscoramon]

[ It is strange; Cisco thinks that he would be worried regardless of the circumstances, hearing Beverly sigh like that, knowing she must be missing her son. But he isn't just worried, and isn't just connecting the dots logically. There's an ache in his chest, bad enough that for a moment he's worried there's something wrong with him, physically. It hurts, but there's also a wave of sadness, unrecognizable at first.

He keeps quiet, too, but there's a slight thinness to his breathing over the phone, a note of strain in his voice as he asks: ]

You're still thinking about him, aren't you? Missing him a lot?

[ Of course she misses him. He's her son and she's cut off from him, can't speak to him, not even a quick good morning, not even a glimpse of the back of his head as he works away at some new project... ]

'Cause I... think I might be still... feeling what you're feeling. Somehow.

[dancingmd]

[Not seeing Wesley every day is one thing. That time was always going to come. But even at the Academy, he could send her letters, talk to her over subspace, visit every now and then. Here, it's nothing. The not knowing eats at her more than she will usually admit.]

I'm sorry. It's not a feeling I'd wish on anyone.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco is shocked by the intensity of the feeling - not only because it is not his, and not only he's never felt anything quite like it, but because Beverly has always seemed like a relatively happy woman to him.

Does she feel like this all the time? Has she been hiding it? Enduring it, without asking for help?

He knows he ought to be focusing on the mystery of why the two of them are linked, trying to figure out the rules, but the aching weight of worry and not-knowing is too heavy on his chest to focus. So, instead of reacting like a scientist, he asks: ]

What's he like? Your son? Maybe... maybe if we talk about him, it won't hurt as much.

[ It's the only solution he can think of. ]

[dancingmd]

[Not always, but often. And while as a general rule, she doesn't talk about it much, there are people she reaches out to: Lucretia, Jim, and especially Leonard, before he left. It helps to talk to them, but the feeling will never entirely fade. She accepts this.

Though Cisco can't see her smile through the phone, he can probably feel the affection that softens the edges of her pain.]

Wesley is... incredibly smart. One of the smartest people I know.

[Which is saying a lot. She laughs gently.]

And I'm not just saying that because I'm his mother. Truly, he's brilliant.

[franciscoramon]

Don't worry, I believe you.

[ There's a special sort of pain in that, for Cisco, that Beverly might pick up on, if the connection is indeed a two-way one. After all... it's not an assumption that he would've ever made in the first place. His own mother had never particularly cared that he was smart. Had, in fact, seemed more disappointed and alienated than anything else by his interest in academic pursuits. But, of course, Beverly values that, in her son. ]

You said he was at the academy to go into Starfleet - is he planning on studying to be a doctor, like you?

[ It would make sense to Cisco, that Wesley would want to follow in his mother's very capable, very impressive footsteps. ]

[dancingmd]

[Beverly does feel that stab of pain that she instinctively knows isn't hers, though what exactly caused it, she can't say. She certainly doesn't want to hurt Cisco in any way.]

No, physics and engineering are what he's more interested in. Always has been. Our quarters were always full of his projects, things he was tinkering with, building and improving...

[She sighs softly.]

It's amazing, what he can do, but I always worried too. He's... always been a bit of a loner and was more comfortable with adults than with kids his age.

[And now... she can't help but wonder if that played a part in his actions with Nova Squadron, if he finally found other people his age he fit in with and it made it easier to lie for them.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco listens without interrupting. The more he focuses, the more nuance there is the feelings that he is picking up through his connection to Beverly. There's that sadness and worry, yes, but also pride, warmth, awe, and love. Is this what it feels like, to have a son, and be proud of him?

(And Cisco thinks, wonders, without being able to help it, whether he would ever feel like this, for a kid of his own - but he stops himself before his brain can travel too far down that path.)

He'd smiled, when Beverly mentioned Wesley being interested in engineering, and always tinkering with junk and starting a million projects. But when she mentions that he was a loner, didn't really connect with his peers, well. The coincidence is too strong not to say it. ]

...kinda sounds like he and I have a lot in common.

[ Which is probably a weird thing to say, but it's still true. ]

[dancingmd]

I think you two would be excellent friends, if you ever get the chance to meet.

[She smiles softly into the phone. Though he cannot see it, he can no doubt sense it, the fondness she feels for him. There have, in fact, been many times where Cisco has reminded her of Wes (and there are few greater compliments she can give than that).]

Do you... still feel alone, here?

[franciscoramon]

I hope I do get the chance. Someday.

[ It's a startling, foreign thing, being able to actually feel the fondness that is, bafflingly, directed at him. Cisco can't let his mind linger on it for more than a moment. He knows that Beverly likes him, is his friend, but actually feeling that warmth is something else entirely. He's still getting used to being the recipient of affection. ]

No. [ That is an easy answer for Cisco to give; he says it without hesitation. ] Just because my family's on Earth...

[ He trails off, and is momentarily grateful for whatever trick has landed them in this situation. There are things it is hard to express in words. But if Beverly is feeling what he's feeling, there's no way that she could miss this. The hollow feeling in his stomach, the one that comes from the certainty that he won't be missed. Not all that much. Not for very long. The portal had made a mistake, he thinks, separating her from her son. But it hadn't made one, putting him in a different universe to his own family. It would probably be a few months before they even realized.

Now, though... Cisco thinks about Eddie, about Taako, Magnus, Lup and Lucretia, about Beverly herself, about Rey and all the other friends he's made since he arrived at this place. Thinks about how being here, around space travelers like Beverly, and elves, and magicians, and mutants, and aliens, and powered people of all kinds, had helped him to stop hiding himself, and being so ashamed. He's still a work in progress, but he's made more progress here than he would have in Central City. ]

I'm a lot less alone here than I ever was there.

[dancingmd]

I'm glad.

[And she is, genuinely. Despite her own dissatisfaction with being here, she wants the best for Cisco, whether the best is to be found in Riverview or in another world.]

You've seemed very happy here.

[She wishes she could give him a hug right now and that he wasn't on the other side of the phone.]