Cisco Ramon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
franciscoramon) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2018-02-04 05:45 pm
franciscoramon) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-02-04 05:45 pm
Entry tags:
- dc comics (rebirth): wally west,
- legend of zelda (botw): zelda,
- original: shigeru miyata,
- star trek (aos): james kirk,
- star trek (tng): beverly crusher,
- star wars: finn,
- star wars: rey,
- the adventure zone: taako taaco,
- ✖ dctv (flash): cisco ramon,
- ✖ dctv (flash): eddie thawne,
- ✖ the adventure zone: lucretia,
- ✖ the raven cycle: adam parrish
[ open ] call it your 2.0, your rebirth, whatever
who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all + tdm prompts + fajro prompts
when: february
where: various places!
warnings: will add as needed
I. DREAM A LITTLE DREAM
[ Cisco thought that the crystal caves sounded exactly like something from a fantasy series he had loved as a child, so of course, he dragged Eddie to go and see them with him. There had been nothing ominous about the place, at the time. It isn't until a few days later that Cisco's dreams start to show the sign of outside influence. They become vivid, surreal, and most importantly, he starts having guests. A few times he'll have a passing thought about a friend before falling asleep, only to run into them in his dream. He's no stranger to unusual dreams, and - after what had happened in October - not even a stranger to encountering other people in them.
But it's still pretty damn weird. ]
You see that, right? It's not just me?
[ Cisco asks the question to whoever is standing next to him, pointing down an empty city street at the looming figure of what is, unmistakably, a Godzilla-sized robotic panda. ]
II. CLEANING HOUSE
[ Cisco had rolled his eyes at first at the idea of a whole holiday based around cleaning. What could be less fun? He's always been somewhat inclined to keep stuff. After all, you never know what use it could be later. He spends plenty of his time scavenging the things other people left behind in the abandoned parts of the city, for materials and parts for his work.
But once he and Eddie decide to share the same room, he realizes he is going to have to get rid of at least some of his stuff, to make room. So he reluctantly starts, only to find himself getting more and more into the task. He can be seen either having a cute little yard sale to get rid of various items (clothing, books, etc.), or else taking what remains after the sale down to the bonfires by the river. ]
III. CLEARING THE AIR
[ Along with everyone else in the Quarantine, as the month progresses, he finds himself dwelling on resentments from his past. Unfortunately for Cisco, most of those resentments pertain to people who aren't even here. Once the 15th rolls around, he finds that his sense of taste has vanished completely. A few conversations with others tell him that this is probably something to do with the holiday, that he needs to clear the air.
But what is he supposed to do, when the people he's feeling resentful towards aren't even here?
So Cisco can be found all that week making his way around town, sitting in a park or perhaps at a bar, slump-shouldered and wan and uncomfortable, needing (but not knowing it) someone to talk to. A good heart-to-heart will put things right, but he's not aware of that yet.
He is also, despite his distraction, more than happy to listen to others' woes, or any resentments held against him. ]
what: catch-all + tdm prompts + fajro prompts
when: february
where: various places!
warnings: will add as needed
I. DREAM A LITTLE DREAM
[ Cisco thought that the crystal caves sounded exactly like something from a fantasy series he had loved as a child, so of course, he dragged Eddie to go and see them with him. There had been nothing ominous about the place, at the time. It isn't until a few days later that Cisco's dreams start to show the sign of outside influence. They become vivid, surreal, and most importantly, he starts having guests. A few times he'll have a passing thought about a friend before falling asleep, only to run into them in his dream. He's no stranger to unusual dreams, and - after what had happened in October - not even a stranger to encountering other people in them.
But it's still pretty damn weird. ]
You see that, right? It's not just me?
[ Cisco asks the question to whoever is standing next to him, pointing down an empty city street at the looming figure of what is, unmistakably, a Godzilla-sized robotic panda. ]
II. CLEANING HOUSE
[ Cisco had rolled his eyes at first at the idea of a whole holiday based around cleaning. What could be less fun? He's always been somewhat inclined to keep stuff. After all, you never know what use it could be later. He spends plenty of his time scavenging the things other people left behind in the abandoned parts of the city, for materials and parts for his work.
But once he and Eddie decide to share the same room, he realizes he is going to have to get rid of at least some of his stuff, to make room. So he reluctantly starts, only to find himself getting more and more into the task. He can be seen either having a cute little yard sale to get rid of various items (clothing, books, etc.), or else taking what remains after the sale down to the bonfires by the river. ]
III. CLEARING THE AIR
[ Along with everyone else in the Quarantine, as the month progresses, he finds himself dwelling on resentments from his past. Unfortunately for Cisco, most of those resentments pertain to people who aren't even here. Once the 15th rolls around, he finds that his sense of taste has vanished completely. A few conversations with others tell him that this is probably something to do with the holiday, that he needs to clear the air.
But what is he supposed to do, when the people he's feeling resentful towards aren't even here?
So Cisco can be found all that week making his way around town, sitting in a park or perhaps at a bar, slump-shouldered and wan and uncomfortable, needing (but not knowing it) someone to talk to. A good heart-to-heart will put things right, but he's not aware of that yet.
He is also, despite his distraction, more than happy to listen to others' woes, or any resentments held against him. ]
no subject
And having Snoke play both of them...it messed with her more than she wanted to admit. Coupled with their interactions here--it made her want to reexamine things again, and again, and again. There was no point in contacting Ben, not with how upset she was with him. There wasn't a point to talking to Finn or Poe about this, because that would make them further upset with her or more distant...
Really, there wasn't anyone she could talk to about what happened--not in full detail. Perhaps it was for the best. No need to drag anyone else into this. She could meditate, let the Force guide her now that she knew what she was doing--more than before. She was sorting through things in her head again when she heard a knock on the door. Rey stilled, debating if she should stay quiet, but she couldn't do that, not to Cisco.
He'd hear some shuffling on the other side of the door until the locks turned and the door opened to reveal Rey. Her hair wasn't in it's usual style, only half up and half down. The color choice of her outfit is darker--with blacks and grey-blue hues. A faint smile comes across her face, but it doesn't reach her eyes.]
Hey...I wasn't expecting to see you today.
[She hasn't seen him in some time, making excuses here and there. She gave vague answers about her well being...trying to mask her feelings.]
no subject
His instincts also tell him that, in this instance, breezy excuses and white lies aren't the way to go. Instead, he lifts up the basket slightly, suggests: ]
I thought maybe we could do a picnic, if you're not too busy. I brought food, and a blanket, and it's actually pretty warm out, today.
[ Then, his own smile fading a bit, he adds, with a simplicity that somehow just makes it ten times worse: ]
I miss you.
[ It's a vulnerable thing, admitting that. Rey means a lot to him, and her distance has been troubling, inexplicable, hurtful. But he doesn't say it as an accusation, or an attempt to elicit any particular response. It is just a fact: undeniable, and true. He's missed her. ]
no subject
The facade in her mask cracks watching the smile leave his face and tell her he's missed her.
She stands in her door frame a little longer before stepping to the side to let Cisco in. She's missed him. Missed being able to confide in someone. Was that weak of her? To miss having someone to lean on? To have someone around? She survived for so long on her own--but that wasn't living. Rey was trying to get through each day, but she didn't thrive. Her soul longed to have another to talk to, talk about everything that's happened--her new memories, the First Order--Ben.]
..Could you come inside, please?
[The words were softly whispered, giving Cisco enough room to come in. Once he was inside, she closed the door behind him. He would be able to see her somewhat furnished studio apartment--it had what she needed; a bed, some home electronics, but no television. No DVD player or anything that she thought she would need. A bed, a microwave, a clothes rack, a few plants, and a mirror.]
I've missed you too...and I'm sorry. [It felt like she's been doing that a lot lately; apologizing for messing up, even when she felt like she was in the right or doing the right thing.]
no subject
But before he can even think about saying any of that, she is apologizing, and Cisco's throat feels tight with emotion. He walks over, setting the basket of food down and sitting, cross-legged, on the floor. Declaring definitively that he's not going anyway, that they're still going to have their picnic - just indoors. ]
Did something happen? [ He chews at the inside of his cheek and then adds, a little quieter: ] Did I... do something wrong?
[ He doesn't know about the canister yet, and can't think of any other reason why Rey might be avoiding him. He doesn't know Finn or Poe well enough to have checked whether she was avoiding them, too, so he assumes it's just him. And if it's just him, something must have prompted it. He'd thought their last heart to heart had gone well, that he'd encouraged her, made her feel like she could share things with him. But then this strange silence. What else is he supposed to think? ]
no subject
And now that she was looking at the space...maybe she should've bought a chair or something. It felt odd watching Cisco sit down on the floor. Then again, she wasn't expecting any visitors to come by. Not Finn...or Poe. The guilt she felt over their fight was still there, and it doubled from Cisco's innocent question.]
No, Cisco, no. [She shook her head at him, moving to sit in front of him, sitting cross-legged just like him.]
It wasn't you. It was never your fault. [She averted her gaze downward, staring at the floor as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. What she wanted to tell him, picking and choosing which events she wanted to share. But..he said she could tell him anything so...maybe she should.]
I got into a fight with Poe and Finn.... [That's how her story starts, explaining how she wanted to go and train with Ren just to learn the basics. How she thought he could come back, or at the very least keep an eye on him. How Leia, Ren's mother, had her back, but it didn't go settle well with Poe and Finn, how both of them left the apartment and how soon thereafter she moved out. How she was trying to figure out a way to make things right. Not two weeks later after the fight, of not speaking to of her two best friends, that a canister arrived with her name on it...
She opened it, and how new memories entered her mind. How she did find a teacher in Luke, how there was a connection between her and Ben....and how she willing went to him to bring him back. Though they fought together, though they felt the same loneliness and though she felt something for him, he still didn't walk away. He still wanted to rule. He still wanted power...]
..I was a fool to think he would change.
[But it was never Cisco's fault. She was trying to deal with feelings piled on top of feelings, and new memories, and trying to keep things together.]
no subject
When she mentions the canister, Cisco can't help but startle, a little. He knows, right from the second she mentions that word, what it means. Memories, a flash forward in her life, past who knows how long. Years? How much had she gone through? Changed? His hands tighten, twisting together in his lap, but he keeps listening without speaking. His heart sinks with disappointment (but not surprise) when she tells him about the choice Ren had made. ]
Rey...
[ Cisco begins to speak, once she's finally lapsed into silence, but then stalls. He holds up a finger for her to wait, and then, inexplicably, pulls out his phone from his pocket. A few quick taps of his thumb take him to his chat history with Rey. He scrolls, neatly and quickly, to the exchange they'd had about Kylo, finding a particular exchange and centering it on the screen, holding up the phone so that she can see it:
He doesn't say anything, for a moment. Just holds up her own words, a silent reminder of what she'd said. When Cisco speaks, his voice is soft, heartfelt. ]
You're not a fool, okay? What you did - trying to help someone you thought needed help, trying to redeem someone, trying to save somebody's soul... that's what heroes do, Rey. It wasn't foolish, it was... it was good.
[ Cisco reaches over, setting a hand on top of hers, a very light touch, easily shaken off if she doesn't want it. What he wants to say next feels risky, because it's her belief system, not his, and his understanding of it is second-hand and (he knows) a bit muddled. But at the same time, someone ought to say it. ]
You told me the Force is all about balance, right? And you'd thought, before, all the stuff in Ren's life had thrown off the balance so he had no choice but the Dark. What you did was... made it so he could make a choice between Light and Dark equally. Doesn't matter that he picked the wrong fucking side. What matters is you balanced the options. Isn't that right?
no subject
She tilted her head watching Cisco pull out his phone, thinking he was going to call Poe and have them hash everything out. Not that she thought her friend would actually go through with it, but it had crossed her mind. It needed to be on her terms, no one else's. The message he shows her felt like it was sent a lifetime ago. The corners of her eyes began to prick, feeling tears start to gather.
His hand on top of hers, it's the comfort she needs. She shifts her hand to hold his, averting her gaze to blink back tears.]
I balanced the options...I even fell to the Dark Side to see what it had to show me, and came out. What it had...I didn't want. I had everything I thought I was supposed to do and it felt like I failed, and I felt so alone. [She takes a deep breath, looking up at him as tears start to run down her face.]
I grew close to him, Cisco. I grew close to Ben, and... [Her voice wavered then, showing weakness and not ashamed of it.] I felt something for Ben. I thought he felt the same, and he still went to the Dark.
[Ben broke her heart. In dealing with fighting with her friends, she had new memories come forth, and managed to get her heart broken by the one person she thought understood her the most. And if Cisco can imagine, she never revealed to Finn or Poe her feelings for Ben, and would most likely never tell them.]
no subject
But it's hard, seeing the tears streak down her cheeks and knowing that what he'd thought would happen did, indeed, happen. ]
I'm sorry, Rey.
[ He scoots over closer to her, drawing Rey against him without hesitation, so he can hold her while she cries, stroking a hand through her hair in an absent, soothing way. Cisco is good at this, understands on an instinctive level how to hold people who are in pain. Resting his cheek against her head, he says, quietly: ]
I know it's not gonna mean much, right now - probably isn't anything I could say to make this hurt less, but... I am so, so proud of you. For not choosing the Dark, for letting yourself feel something for somebody and letting him get close, even though it's hard. I know it fucking sucks, right now, because he chose to betray that trust, but- I'm proud of you, anyway.
no subject
Cisco didn't have to apologize. It wasn't his fault for what happened. It wasn't his fault for what she was feeling, or for what Ben chose. It wasn't any one's fault. The outcome of everything weighed more on Ben than her. She had done everything she could to help him pull away from the Dark, yet he still clung to it like a child would to their parent.
She sees Cisco move over to her, but wasn't expecting him to hold her. Without thinking, she hugged him in returned, pressing her forehead into his shoulder. The tears wouldn't stop coming. They continued to well up in her eyes until they were streaking down her cheeks. Her heart was broken over a man who could be so sweet and make her feel at peace, but who also wanted to be Supreme Leader. Who wanted to be like his grandfather and lose everything.
You were born nothing. You are nothing--but not to me.
I'm proud of you.
Cisco's words act as a balm on her heart. The pain of being apart from her friends, from their fight which seemed so trivial now. The pain of having her heart broken and feeling like she had failed. His presence, his touch, were helping her more than anything. Now she was left with a choice: did she continue to sulk, or did she move on and not look back?
Nothing good came from sulking about and no amount of tears would ever fix what happened.
Little by little Rey forced herself to stop crying. She cleared her throat and breathed in deeply, trying to clear away the sadness she felt in her chest.]
Thank you. [The words are softly murmured, her voice strained from crying. She didn't know how long she had been hugging Cisco and cried on his shoulder. In pulling back, she saw where her tears had landed on his shirt.] I didn't mean to get your shirt wet.
no subject
When her breathing starts to even out and she begins pulling back together the threads of her composure, Cisco notices, but lets her take her time, be the first one to speak. The hoarseness of her voice, and the earnestness of her thanks, make his heart hurt, but he merely smiles, small and sad but very fond as well. ]
No worries. It'll dry.
[ He moves away, giving her a little space, but still staying close enough that their knees touch. He pulls a cloth napkin from the picnic bag, uncaps one of the waters inside and pours out a little onto the napkin, just enough to get it damp. He hands the thing over to Rey silently, to wipe her face with. ]
Did he get a canister, too? Has he been giving you any grief?
[ If she needed help avoiding Ren, Cisco could absolutely help with that. He isn't just about reassuring words and hugs, though he knows how important those things can be. But Cisco knows that sometimes, practical measures are necessary, too. And like hell is he going to let this douche hurt his friend any more than he already has. ]
no subject
She was stronger than this. She was stronger than crying and over this...whatever it was between her and Ben. Rey had spent her life living alone, and she been fooled into thinking he would be willing to do anything but serve the First Order. They knew loneliness so well, but he had clung to Darkness like no other. There was nothing there for her to save, or help. She had to let him go.
There was a shrug of her shoulders, keeping the napkin in her hands, twisting it a little to keep her hands occupied.]
I don't know. I know Finn and Poe received one and opened it. They don't know I went to him. They don't know any of what's happened with me.
[The fight with Poe and Finn had been so silly compared to the memories they received, however, it made it very difficult to say anything about what happened with Ben. She had put strain their friendship, and she didn't want to tell she had done it anyway and had failed.]
no subject
You haven't talked with them? Since you argued?
[ He asks as if it's a question, though he can tell the answer already. Even if they had spoken, it seems like it hadn't been enough. The air wasn't clear between them, and it's all too clear Rey's been bottling all this up. Cisco could hear it in the way she'd told her story, in how tightly she'd clung to him while she cried. ]
You don't have to tell them what happened, you know. If you're not ready. It's your business, not theirs. But... if you decide you do, and you need somebody there, in your corner... I can come with you.
[ A silly suggestion? Maybe. But Cisco needs Rey to know that everything she'd said hadn't changed his opinion of her one bit. That he was still on her side, ride or die. ]
And if- if Ben harasses you, or gives you any trouble, we'll deal with it. Together. Okay?
no subject
[Rey took a deep breath, calming herself down, trying to suppress the feeling to cry again. It was a relief to share what happened. To cry them out was beneficial, releasing the stress of keeping everything inside of her, but the more she talked about what happened, that feeling came back. That need to release the stress in the form of tears threatened to come back, even though she told herself shew as stronger than this. She was better than a crying like a child.]
I texted Poe, apologizing for starting the fight. He said we were still friends, and that he needed space, which was fine. I can't force him to forgive me. I'm not going to force my company on him, especially when I hurt him.
[Rey put Poe's feelings first before her own, making sure he was okay. She had hurt him, and had to be the one to reach out first. He asked how she was and she said she was fine, not a complete lie, but it was better than nothing. Better than telling him that he was right about Ben.]
I saw Finn not too long ago. We hugged, but it's still not the same. Not how it used to be. I told him I was getting a handle on things. I told him Snoke was dead and he could let Leia and Poe know. But I can't tell him about Ben. Not after the fight.
[Not yet anyway. Not until the new memories have settled and weren't so raw in their minds.]
I can't tell Poe or Finn that I kissed Ben, that I have feelings for him. It would only widen the gap between us and, I don't want to lose them as friends.
[The words were spoken softly that Rey didn't realize her slip. All this time she had spoken about her feelings for Ben in the past tense, but here, she still had them. She still felt something for him. She confessed to kissing him. Confessed to her romantic entanglement with Ben, but she was afraid of losing Finn and Poe if they found out. If they found out about those feelings or even the Force bond that her judgement would be called into question and things would fall apart further.
So yes, it was her own damn business, but she had every reason to keep it to herself.]
I didn't want to put you in the middle of this. I didn't want to drag anyone else into this mess.
[Not a silly suggestion at all, but she's already risked a lot in telling Cisco everything that's happened. At least he was still in her corner, and for that she would be forever grateful.]
Ben hasn't spoken to me at all. I don't think he will, and I'm not...I won't reach out to him. Not after what he's done.
[Making her choose between him and the Resistance. Breaking her heart in following the Dark Side.]
If he does try to contact me, I'll let you know--but please don't do anything. Don't...seek him out or anything like that, please?
no subject
He also notices that present tense, which is worrying, but he tries not to read into it too much. Cisco knows that emotions are never as simple as we want them to be. It might take some time, for Rey to close that chapter. He doesn't have any doubts that she should, but it might take a little encouragement. For now, his main goal is convincing her not to cut him off again, to impose loneliness on herself as a punishment, or because she believes she is protecting him somehow. ]
Hey, come on. You didn't drag me anywhere, okay? I climbed right into this mess, of my own free will. There's never gonna be a mess you're in that's so messy I won't roll up my sleeves and dive on in beside you.
[ Cisco is grateful at least that it seems like Kylo Ren knows better than to interfere further with the situation. It's a little funny, in a sad sort of way, how much Rey's pleas that he not try to start anything mirror Finn's same request, months ago. But he nods, slow and considering. ]
I won't. I know better than to poke a sleeping bear. But, Rey... I intend to start working on some contingencies. In case he starts hurting people. I'm not gonna start anything, trust me, but- we need to be ready. That way, if things do go bad, we'll have options, other than just killing him.
[ There's a firmness to the way he says it; it's not a request for her permission, or a question whether it's the right call. He is going to try to build a cell that cuts its occupant off from the Force, if such a thing is possible. ]
And... and I think you should tell Poe and Finn how much you miss them. You're right, you can't force them to forgive you, and it's probably a good idea to give them space, but- just make sure they know you care about them, and that they're important to you.
[ As for her secrets around Ben, Cisco feels like Rey is going to need to tell them the truth, sooner or later. Lies never worked, long term. The truth had a way of coming out. But for now, while everything is so raw, it might be best for her to keep that to herself. ]
Things aren't going to go back to normal right away. They might never be exactly the same as they were before. That's just... that's how life is, sometimes. But you deserve friends. And... even if it doesn't work out... you've always got me, so.
no subject
[She wasn't pushing him away or deterring him from diving in. Rey was pointing out that it was her mess and it should be her responsibility to clean it up. Cisco wouldn't always be around, a very painful thought to have right now, and couldn't always help her. She was used to solving her problems on her own. Besides, the last time she roped anyone else in, their ties to Poe and Finn were frayed. She didn't want to put Cisco through the same thing as she had with Leia.
We'll have options, other than just killing him.
The words ring hollow for her. Sooner or later Kylo Ren would do something and they had to take preventative measures. Ren had come close to killing Poe. he put the pilot in the hospital! Something she had to stop herself from lashing out at him for, but Poe didn't want her to do that. Poe wanted her to walk away. Now, Cisco wanted to do something and she couldn't tell him no--not exactly. He had the right to protect Eddie and the others here.]
Do you not think I'm strong enough to take him on? To keep him in check?
[Worst of all, whatever Cisco created, it could be easily used on her. Not that she thought he would, but...maybe by another. A contingency plan, but one that could be used on both Force users. It was...disturbing to think about, but that was her new reality. If she crossed the line for whatever reason, Kylo Ren's punishment could become her own.
Did Cisco really not trust her to keep Ren in line? Did he think that she was weaker for having feelings for him? Feelings that caused her more pain than anything at this moment.]
I haven't stopped caring about them. That's why I gave them space. Why I'm not telling them anything like this because they don't need to know I failed. [In bringing Ben back to the Light, in proving that both men were right about Ben...] I just... [She let out a sigh, trying to figure out what she wants to say and how to put her feelings into actual words.] I know I messed up, and I feel that...regardless of my own feelings on what happened, it won't matter.
[Because she thinks that she wasn't worth the friendship anymore. Or maybe they might think of it in that way. Poe could say they were still friends, but, she knew how hollow those words could be. How easily they could be tossed out and how quickly discarded she could be.
After all, it happened with her parents.]
...thank you. [The words are murmured as she reached out to hug him again. At least there was Cisco. At least he was here and showed he cared. He didn't judge her, he didn't try to fix the problem for her...
He listened, and really, that's all she wanted.]
no subject
[ He pauses, swallowing, not even liking to speculate on the scenarios and possibilities. The last thing he wants, though, is for Rey to think he doesn't believe in her capability, or doesn't trust her. So he forces himself to finish: ]
-in case you're busy, or hurt, or- or not around.
[ She was used to relying on only herself; Cisco is used to planning for the worst. It's one of the things they have in common, this distrust that just because things are good or safe now, that they will continue to be so in the future. ]
I know. I know you still care about them, and why you're keeping your distance. For their sake, and I think, maybe your own a little bit, too? I know- how hard it is. When you're wrong about someone. When you think they're better than they are. It's... humiliating.
[ He hadn't planned on saying it, had half-planned on never telling Rey any more about this at all. He's skirted the story, alluded to it, but never laid it out plainly. But now, he thinks, after what she went through with Ren, it might help her. To know she's not the only one who has failed. ]
I've been there. There was this man- Dr. Wells. He meant a lot to me. He was- [ Cisco laughs, and it's dry, humorless, and quiet ] -the first person in the world who ever, like. Cared about me. He was my mentor, you know? My friend. I would've done anything for him. So- so when this other friend of mine, Detective West, told me he didn't trust Dr. Wells, that he thought he was evil, and dangerous, I defended him. Said I knew him better. Said he was wrong.
[ He meets Rey's gaze, smiling in a thin, rueful way. ]
He wasn't wrong. I was. And I found out the hard way.
[ It had been a different form of love, certainly. There had been more deception, less attempted redemption. But all the same, the analogy is a close one. He'd gotten his heart broken, too. Had failed, too, and had to admit it. ]
no subject
It's clear he's thought about this many times. That's just who Cisco is. Ever prepared for something to happen. Better to prepare for a worse case scenario than to only hope for the best. Something else they had in common; always having one back up plan after another. Because things could always get much worse before they even got better.
There was a slow nod from her, casting her gaze downward.]
You have to do what you can to protect the others here, I understand.
[It doesn't make the sinking feeling in her stomach any lighter, or better. The most sensible and logical reason wasn't always the most popular. It didn't always go with how one would feel in the moment.
Her hold on Cisco tightens, thinking more about him and his feelings on what happened rather than her own. The parallels were striking. Both of them hurt by someone they defended, someone they cared about and thought higher of. How those feelings were crushed into stardust at the moment of betrayal. How they didn't listen to their friends and then faced the consequences...]
How did you fix things with your friends? Did they...understand your point of view on things? Or did they merely brush it aside and forgive you?
[Rey isn't sure if she just wants forgiveness for her actions, or if she wanted Poe and Finn to understand it. Both was what she wanted, but more of an understanding, to empathize with her rather than be sympathetic. Maybe Finn and Poe would never understand, and that was something she would have to grapple and come to terms with.]
no subject
[ Cisco had barely known Eddie, at the time. He was just Joe's partner, the guy dating Iris, the one who kept crossing paths with Team Flash in various ways. But he hadn't forgotten, that Eddie had seen through Dr. Wells's manipulation when he couldn't. That he'd been smart enough, in his own way, to read the situation for what it was, and see the truth. Cisco might know more about physics and mechanics and the multiverse, sure. But Eddie knows people. ]
Neither of them said 'I told you so' or anything, even though they could've. We didn't really talk about who'd been right or who'd said what or... points of view. We just- we all came together to work on taking him down.
[ Cisco is oversimplifying to some degree, of course. Caitlin had taken a lot longer than the other two to believe Wells could be evil. She'd still believed in him, after Cisco spoke up about the vibes, about being murdered. It wasn't until she'd had hard evidence, in the form of the original Harrison Wells's body, that she'd been willing to listen. But Cisco hadn't held it against her, that period when she disbelieved him. Even though it had hurt.
He thinks, though, that things between Rey and Finn and Poe might be slower to mend than they had with him and Joe back home, if she still doesn't believe that Kylo Ren is a problem that needs to be dealt with. If she maintains ambivalence, even now... well, things might just get worse, rather than better.
But Cisco is of course not going to say that out loud. ]
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Or maybe, she should just learn that Poe and Finn won't ever understand. As much as that would pain her, she would have to accept it. They wouldn't understand, and they may view her in a different light now. Their bond wouldn't be the same, and who knows if Poe would ever trust her again. He and Finn needed time...and she needed time to figure out how to tell them what happened.]
We'll come together to fight for the Resistance.
[The words were murmured with her gaze cast downward. They would come together for that, but aside from that, it would take weeks for them to maybe get together in the same room. At least here, she had Cisco. She still had a friend in him and in Jim too...and Alec. It was hard for her to lose two of the most important people in her life. It was hard to lose anyone she cared about.]
And I will fight to keep Ben in place. There's no excusing his actions, not anymore. Not after he had the choice to walk away.