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[ Honestly, props to Rey for even trying to maintain a level of internal calmness.

Finn knows more than enough about how to keep a stiff upper lip, so to speak. He knows how to force himself to stay expressionless. The First Order raises soldiers: there's an expected sense of decorum, an understanding that control is everything. It isn't often he feels a need to do that now. There's not much middle ground: either his face is an open book for anyone looking at it or he's doing everything in his power to shut things down.

He's less experienced in shutting things down beneath the surface. Only really good at half-successful pushing away, finding new points of focus, trying to ignore it if he can. Things are always sharp.

She asks if it would be better to come to him, and the way his tension lightens, all but instantaneously, half answers before he does.

Seeing Rey always helps something. He can never put words to it. Just the fact that she's Rey, the fact that she exists.

And in any case, it'll give him time to figure out a better way to explain what he means by "it's happened a couple of times". ]

Yeah. Sure. Might be easier in person.

Where are you then?

[Because she's already grabbing a light jacket to throw on and head over to him. Was he still with that cat? The same one that tried to bite him--no it did bite him and it hurt.

Why was he even near a cat to begin with?!

Breathe, just breathe, stay as calm as possible even when she could feel her heart ready to start beating a mile a minute and ready to take off running. Seriously, how does Finn live like this?]

[ Finn, meanwhile, is only just starting to sort of reel himself in. It doesn't make much difference on the... undercurrent, generally, of overall sharpness, but he knows how to push things a little to the left to function. He's good at functioning. And if he doesn't let himself think too hard about the fact that this means Rey is privy to-- everything, in a live-feed, he won't get swept up in the dread that comes with the lack of control over that right now.

He doesn't keep secrets, exactly, from Rey or from Poe. Pushes some things down sometimes. Filters them out instead of trying to verbalize them. He doesn't want this to be how he finds the limit with someone. Either for them realizing he's not as good as the way they look at him, or for being hurt that even after everything, he sometimes expects to find a limit.

Function. Don't think about it. Find Rey. It's something to funnel his focus into. ]

-- sorry.

[ He's not sure exactly what for? The whole experience, he guesses. For him only just remembering she's getting his side on full blast, probably. He tries to pull it back, as much as a person can try. ]

I'm at Jyn and Cassian's. They're out on a mission. Scouting the wall. Jyn said they needed someone to feed Admiral Raddus. [ A beat, then: ] That's what they named their cat. It's not-- you know, actually an Admiral.

[ He felt kind of bad for it going from two people in and out to no people all day, hence the petting. The biting, he figures, is because cats are weird. Or that's how they play. Or it's just Jyn's pet and absorbed some of her approach to life. ]

But I don't have to come back until this evening. I can meet you somewhere.

[Finn didn't need to apologize. If this was the work of the Force then they would have to deal with it. She could figure out to keep Ben from finding out the Force bonded her to Finn too. Shit, she didn't want to tell Finn, not like this, but she would have to. She couldn't risk keeping him or Poe in the dark.

This would come back to bite her in the ass, Cisco was right on that.]

The same apartment as before?

[Before the three of them went their separate ways. Before they had a fight. Before Rey placed that strain on their friendship and distanced herself from them. She had to make sure Cassian and Jyn were still in the same place. Two other people who she was close to, but didn't stay in touch after what happened with Ben.

Fuck, this all was coming back to bite her.

And when did Jyn like cats? More questions than answers, and Rey is trying to keep Finn's anxiousness in check. She couldn't let it bleed into her feelings and have that express itself in the Force. No need to have things suddenly go flying around, or anything of the sort.]

I can meet you at their place, it's fine. I'll be there as soon as I can.

[And it hits her that she doesn't even know where Finn lives. In trying to patch things up, she had shown him where she lived, but didn't inquire where he was now. If he was still bunking with Poe or not--more than likely he was.

The comm ends there and as soon as she could, she went to Jyn and Cassian's, knocking on the door and waiting for Finn to open it.]

Yeah, same as before. I'll wait for you.

[ She doesn't feel... as okay as she could. He thinks. He's trying not to push if he can help it, trying not to dig in, just letting whatever rolls in roll in and considering it as it stands. Maybe she's always like this?

Sad. A little on-edge. A little guilty.

It's hard to tell with this weird ebb and flow, this almost operating in tandem.

He opens the door almost immediately, a little wide-eyed, expression pinched with concern. He doesn't know what he's concerned about yet. But he thinks he should be prepared. It's undercut by affection, some strange mixture of a lot of bits and pieces (relief, gratitude, love, for all that he's never quite named love when he feels it swell up for someone), second-nature enough to slot into place around everything else without smothering.

Seeing Rey makes some part of him settle. ]

Hey. Uh. Hi. [ Finn looks at her for a second, almost disbelieving. ] So that really is you. I mean it has been you. Today.

[Rey is a whole bunch of emotions, ranging from stressed, to feeling guilty to being tied to someone else this way. There was no Snoke to tie her mind to Finn's, or to Ben's. She doesn't want anyone in her head, even if they were her best friend. There were things that she was trying to keep hidden, waiting for the right time to explain what else happened.

Something that was beyond her control. Something that would put more distance between her and Finn, possibly the rest of the group. The lengths she went to defend Ben. The lengths she went to give him the opportunity to change--to show he could be his own person, and he continued to go down that dark path. How she pushed others away with her half baked plan, but she did for him. She should've known better.

Rey knows exactly where to go to their apartment. She doesn't pay attention to anything else but controlling her emotions and getting to the apartment in one piece. Don't run, walk, she told herself, passing passing, weaving in and out of crowds until she came upon the community building, knocking on the door. Finn answers and she finds herself letting out a sigh of relief. He's fine. He's in one piece, but damnit if she doesn't want to start pacing.]

Hey. [She tries to give him a weak smile, but the notion instantly dies the moment it was born. Rey waited for Finn to let her in before stepping inside.]

Yes, that was me. I don't know why the Force would connect us. First it was Ben, and now you--but you're not projecting yourself in a room, maybe that's only for Force users. We'll need to find Cisco--see if he can help in some way or shape.

[Rey was trying not to talk a mile a minute, but being so close to Finn, the anxiety she felt form him had upped ten fold.

And dropping that lovely piece of information that she was connected to Ben would turn up their anxiety over 100.]

I'm still not sure it's the Force.

[ Because it does sort of raise the questions of why and how, and he's definitely no Force user as far as he's ever been able to tell. He likes to think he'd notice that at some point.

It actually almost escapes him for a hot second. Rey says it so matter-of-factly, drops it into the conversation like some sort of simple fact, and it's easy to roll past something that sounds like a minor fact, to try to focus on things she thinks might help. On trying to calm down, ease some of the back and forth of tension.

Doesn't quite manage to escape him entirely, though. And it's safe to say there is a fairly sharp spike of anxiety immediately following the realization. It's cut through with a lot more stark concern. ]

Wait, wait, wait, wait-- Ben, Kylo Ren Ben?

How do you know? What else could this be? Magic?

[It seemed highly impossible. Then again, Poe had magic used on them, but he only turned into a bird. That was it. Taako said most worlds either had one or the other--advanced technology or magic. Though, this wasn't like any other world. This world had both, but it was the only thing that made sense to Rey.

However, there wasn't anyone pulling the strings behind it. There wasn't someone lurking in the shadows, using their power to bridge two minds together. Now Rey would have to share that part of herself, and go deeper into the relationship she had with Ben. How both of them felt like they were connected, that they were special and it didn't mean anything.

Please. The single word echoed in her mind, forcing her to push it away.]

Yes...Kylo Ren. [The name felt wrong on her lips, but it was the name he wanted to go by. There was a brush of sadness from her, followed by bitterness, but Rey tried to keep a tight hold on her feelings.]

We're bound together, by the Force. When Snoke was alive, he connected our minds. He tricked us into thinking it was the will of the Force. When Ren killed him, the bond was gone...and then it returned.

[Guilt came over her features as she looked at Finn.]

I was still reeling from it when we met up. I didn't know how to tell you or Poe...or Leia about it. [But she told Cisco. She needed to tell a neutral party what happened before her feelings overwhelmed her. Things were still tense with her and Finn, and she didn't want that to break any further by telling him what happened between her and Ben.]

Most weird things here are.

[ Punctuated with a shrug. There's a certain point in strange occurrences in this city where adapting is necessary. This month's been one of the worst so far on those terms. He can't control how he feels about it, but he's been trying to keep a handle on how he... handles it.

Sometimes all that's left is keeping your head down until you find the road out. (It's a feeling he knows intimately, comes with the briefest flash of a memory-- standing in the back of a First Order transport, steeling his features with a yes, Captain and shoving his helmet back on with shaking hands, breaths short and sharp.)

This isn't something he can help her fix, he thinks. The best help he can offer is listening. As much as it's worth. ]

It's okay. [ Definitely couldn't be easy to tell someone on a good day, let alone fresh out of the canister. Finn follows up with what he'd consider the most important question in this new knowledge: ] Are you okay?

[ Is that ever not the most important question to him, though. ]

[Rey braced herself to face any emotions Finn might feel: anger, hurt, disappointment. She was expecting things to be bad. She was used to preparing for the worse, something that helped her survivor for this long. She was prepared to be yelled at, be scolded, and it's...it's a relief to have Finn tell her 'it's okay.'

Like...they were talking about the weather. It's okay.

No screaming, no shouting. No one telling her she was a bad friend for keeping this from him. No one saying his trust in her was broken. It's more than a relief, it feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. The beginnings of a sad smile danced across her lips, but she averted her gaze, staring at the floor as she gathered her thoughts and emotions.]

I've been dealing with it as best as I can. Cisco knows...made sure I didn't drink too much from it.

[She looked up at Finn, guilt and sadness in her brown eyes.]

I'm sorry for not telling you first, and not telling you sooner. I didn't know how you'd react--but that's not an excuse. But, we can deal with Ren later. [Because she doesn't want to think about it. As frustrating as the bond is...it reminds her she's not alone. There is another like her--and there lies the frustration. Trying to get over someone but they were tied together.]

We need to figure out how to deal with this--us being connected.

[ It's a relief to feel relief. It's nice to know he could do even that much for her, somehow.

And Cisco really is always so consistently good. If she told anyone, feeling like maybe she just couldn't tell him or Poe or Leia-- well, there are far worse options. ]

Couldn't exactly be easy to explain. I know I'd have trouble. [ And possibly has had some trouble already, just trying to tell one or two people he could feel their emotions without a chance of them lessening the effect. ]

If you've got any suggestions on dealing with it, I'm open to it. Haven't really had anything... fix it, yet. It's been fading out on its own.

[Cisco is good, trustworthy, and someone Rey would protect until the very end. He was the one she could turn to for a sympathetic ear, and just say what was bothering her without fear of being judged. Not that Finn couldn't do the same, but there were things, like being connected to Ren, that she needed to tell someone else first to sort her feelings out and not think about fixing it then and there. Just someone to listen...to make sure she wasn't going crazy and feel alone in that moment.]

It wasn't easy to explain, but he understood. He's willing to help, see if there's a way to stop it.

[Or see what triggers the bond. What causes them to appear in front of each other.]

How long has his been happening to you? [Maybe if they start there, they could figure something out.]

[ Well. If anyone could somehow figure out how it works or how to stop it... Finn doesn't know a lot about the kind of tech Cisco works with beyond the whole panic button on their phones thing, but he'd trust him more than anyone else to try.

Finn offers a jerky shrug. ]

It's been on and off. Mostly off. Just in the past few days. Wake up, feel something that's not mine, see something I shouldn't be seeing. It'll be over in a day. Maybe sooner. As far as I know, I didn't do anything differently than usual.

Wait, so... [Rey is trying to wrap her head around what Finn's experiencing.]

You're connected to more than one person? It varies everyday?

[Because...she doesn't think the Force could do that. Was that how the Force worked? Allowing non-Force users to be connected to others? Had he been connected to Poe? Or, Kylo Ren?! The answers Rey receives only lead to more questions...

Maybe they'll need alcohol for this. That's how she dealt with being connected to Ben again.]

I think so? It's never been more than one at once.

[ Don't worry. The confusion is definitely going both ways on this one. He hasn't been trying to probe too deeply into thinking about it or asking questions. This month is supposed to be about clearing emotional air or something, according to the local holidays. Finn's assumed it must be... a really ill-advised, frustrating aspect of that, somehow.

Alcohol might be one way to do it. ]

Rey, I'll be honest. There aren't gonna be a lot of questions about this that I know the answers to.

[Alcohol is needed--greatly needed at this point. Finn won't have a lot of answer--because why would he? Why would this make any sort of sense and it's frustrating more than anything else. But at least, it allowed her to bring up the bond with Kylo Ren. So, there's the silver lining there...

There's a sigh from Rey as she shuts her eyes and tries to keep the confusion from both of them, and her own frustration, under control.]

I don't know who we can go to about this, but if it only lasts a day....we should be fine. If it doesn't, then we'll need to worry. [In the mean time, maybe she could do some research? Or...]

Do you want a drink?

[Not from Cassian and Jyn's own stash, no, Rey was willing to get them something. And food, of course.]

Can't hurt too much to put off worrying until we have to worry about it.

[ And if it gets to the point of having to worry about it-- well, at least they'll both be equally worried by default, he guesses. It's almost a weird comfort. The idea of not being alone in it this time.

Given the choice, he'd rather save them both the trouble of dealing with it, but still. ]

I think I really want a drink. I don't have to be back until later anyway.

I could bring something here if you're still...cat sitting?

[Is that a thing? It seems to be a thing anyway. Otherwise, why else would Finn be here?

But he has a point, they can worry about this later. No need to fret over something that could be just in passing...but if it lasts longer, then they'll rope Cisco in this.]

Where are Cassian and Jyn anyway?

It's not exactly sitting. Just... feeding. I stop by twice a day.

[ It's... well, it's an interesting little thing, that's for sure. Why mess around in someone else's home if he doesn't technically need to be in it for more than a little while? ]

Out on a mission. Not sure exactly where or exactly what they're doing. But Jyn asked me to help with this, so.

[ Shrug. It was kind of nice to get asked, in a weird, Jyn-ish way. Almost like getting a little extended hand of trust. ]

[Well...okay. He was just checking up on the cat, which was fine. Rey wouldn't exactly know what to do with it, aside from feeding it. Maybe play with it? She wasn't sure how one would play with a cat, and had a feeling Finn was experimenting with how one actually played with it.

She was concerned with what sort of mission Jyn was on. If she was gone, chances were Cassian was too. The two were close, it only made sense they would both go. If they couldn't trust anyone else there, at least they could trust one another.]

Any idea when they'll be back?

[Rey started to make her way to the door, some what expecting Finn to follow, or at least finish up so they could go.]

[ Experimenting is an accurate term for what he'd been doing, yeah. Sometimes animals are a mystery all their own. Finn takes a cursory glance around, just to make sure he hasn't accidentally left something sitting out or forgotten to bring it with him, then follows Rey towards the door. ]

Not exactly. End of the month, I think. I'm sure they'll be fine, though. They work well together.

They do, doesn't surprise me they would go together..

[Especially during their last mission. Something Rey could see in her mind's eye. Something she hasn't spoken to anyone else but Cassian. When people were sharing each other's memories and that one...left her feeling hollow.

Satisfied that Finn had everything he needed, they left together.]

We can grab something from the market and just...deal with things at my place.

[Better they discuss everything from behind closed doors rather than in public where someone could over hear them.]

Edited 2018-05-07 17:44 (UTC)

Sure. Yeah.

[ He does like the sound of "deal with things". Easier to think of it in that sort of... broad term. A thing that needs dealing with. A thing that can be dealt with.

Sometimes the extra time in this Quarantine isn't worth the trouble it causes. Finn rubs the back of his neck. ]

Been doing okay otherwise?

[Easier to think of in a broad term. Easier to compartmentalize and pack away into her mind to unbox later. Easier to forget too--but not this anxious feeling, this fight-or-flight, and the stress that came with it.

Rey doesn't answer Finn right away. She isn't sure how to answer that question. She could say she was fine, but that was a lie, and she doesn't want to hold anything back. At the same time, she was training to be a Jedi without the aide of Luke. Only the Force itself to guide her. That was a huge responsibility for her and she had to be strong. She couldn't show weakness...she had to move on and keep her chin up.]

...Right now? I'm doing okay. But, I'll go into detail later...at my place.

[They just need something to wash down and food to absorb the drinks.]