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[ It doesn't take long at all to figure out who's on the other end of this connection. Whatever it is, whatever's causing it. The emotions that don't quite sit right, the flashes of daily life.

Finn's mostly content to try to let it lie without prodding too much. It's something he plans on telling Taako about, as soon as he can-- things sort of roll in one after the other in his own schedule, though, keep him busy, and those things take a little longer than usual to sort out with his distraction.

(Why does Taako change how he looks, he wonders, adds to the list of questions of why Taako does almost anything.)

He gets back to his apartment and it's relatively late, and he doesn't know all that much about elves, but his broad assumption is that most things sleep, so he thinks alright, tomorrow, first thing in the morning. And he knows he'll probably be awake before sunrise, so it's not as far off as it could be.

The thing is, Finn almost doesn't realize that the mood shift isn't coming from him at first. He can't sleep. It's pretty late. That's when things usually roll in, or when he dozes into a nightmare, same as Poe does sometimes. It's when things start to drift up to the surface before a person can stop them.

And then he sees.

And then he knows. And then he's rolling to his feet and getting his boots on, because he's got a problem with being impulsive and a standing habit of not being able to let it lie when there's something (more or less) right in front of him that he might be able to help.

Message for you, buddo: ]

I realize this is probably a weird time to say I'm outside. But if it helps, it's not about trying to kill you.

[At first, the message almost goes ignored because it's too late (or early, depending on a person's perspective) and it's probably just Cisco or Hana up at this ungdoly hour sending him a meme, something he's not particularly in the mood for. But on the off chance that something important has happened, Taako checks his phone.

And he's... not sure what to do with what he reads.

There is a definite temptation to pretend he didn't read it, since he doesn't know what the hell Finn wants and he's not exactly in the mood to entertain company, but if he's learned anything about the dude in the past couple months, Finn doesn't seem the type to show up at this hour for just a social call.

With a deep sigh, Taako rolls off his bed, pulls on a sweatshirt, pops his glamour back on, then finally heads out to open the door.]

What the fuck, Finn?

[ That's a fair response. All things considered. It's about what he anticipated. Finn, standing straight-backed with his hands clasped in front of him, feels his expression shift into something resembling a grimace. ]

Sorry.

[ The real question, Finn, is: does sorry sweeten Taako's tea? Probably doesn't. Doesn't feel like it does. He goes from clasping his hands to pressing his palms together prayer-style. Brings them up to his mouth for a second, then sort of points this arrangement in Taako's direction wholesale. ]

I have something to tell you. It's not exactly why I'm here, but it's-- connected? And look, I really don't know if there's a protocol for this kind of thing, so. I don't know. I just came over.

[None of what Finn says helps with the confusion, at all. But he's here and Taako is still operating on the assumption that it must at least be slightly important, so he steps back and makes the universal gesture for come on in.]

This shit couldn't wait until the actual morning?

[ Yeah, he's trying to sort of lead into it. He's shitty at that, though, is the thing. It's not often he feels like he really needs to lead into something.

Finn steps in. In the war between curiosity about the inside of Taako's house and being Finn, being Finn mostly wins out, because he is... right in personal-bubble range, even while he's giving the room a cursory looking-at. He's staying up in there. This is who he is in his most potent and natural form. ]

I've been feeling your feelings. All day. Seeing things. [ This is what being bad at leading into things looks like. You make almost an effort at it and then completely drop the ball and gun it. ] There's been a lot going on, so I planned to wait until morning, but--

[ Finn makes some sort of vague, flappy gesture to Taako, expression temporarily sharp as if to say "I'M NOT THE ONE WHO WAS FEELING THAT REAL SHIT TONIGHT." ]

[Well.

Taako takes that with a relative amount of grace, which is to say that he neither flips his shit or makes some sort of sharp comment about it, because he listens to what Finn has to say, understands the meaning of that gesture, and promptly turns on his heel without another word.

He's going to the kitchen! Finn is more than welcome to follow, Taako just has some real important business he needs to attend to.

Of course by that we mean he's taking a tall glass from one cupboard, a bottle of vodka from the freezer, and orange juice from the fridge. He pours himself a drink that's about 4:1 on the vodka:juice ratio and just fucking downs the whole thing in one go.

Now he's good.]

You want one?

[Since they're here.]

[ It's a lot more graceful a reaction than he would have had in Taako's shoes. Realistically. Finn definitely follows. Otherwise he's standing alone in someone else's house, and that's weird. Because showing up unannounced this late is so not weird.

He and Rey and Poe all used to live crammed together in Poe's starter room in communal housing, after they first turned up in the city. And while they got used to being here, to all the new sights and sounds and supplies, they did a lot of buying of random interesting stuff that they happened to see in the supermarket.

This bears explaining because, watching Taako down that drink, Finn vividly recalls the time he watched Rey slam a kiwi-- fuzz and all-- like a regular handfruit, in less than twenty seconds, while Poe was still looking them up to see if they were supposed to be peeled or cooked or anything like that. She absolutely decimated it.

He feels the same strange mix of his own personal emotions that he did that day. Impressed. Mystified. Mildly concerned. ]

Please.

[ He's not much of a drinker, but you know what. He can barely handle feeling only his own feelings most days, this is a special occasion. ]

[Honestly: good choice.

Taako gets out another glass and pours a drink for Finn that's a better 50/50 mix of alcohol and not-alcohol. He considers making himself another drink before just drinking straight from the vodka bottle. That's how it is some days.]

You know like-- you know we're not talking about this, right? Whatever the fuck is going on we can just uh, pretend that it isn't. I'll hold off on jerking off and whatever until it's over.

[Clearly the big concern here is 'Finn might see Taako jerking off' and not 'Finn is aware that Taako has emotions'.]

[ Finn goes from drinking at a normal human pace to almost choking at the speed of sound. He's not sure if it's because he thinks it's funny? All he knows is he didn't expect that specific concern. More to his horror, perhaps, is that he hadn't even considered the possibility. He was ready for "we aren't talking about this," since it's Taako's prerogative, or like for however long that would stick. The rest is a cherry on a horrible sundae.

Give him a few seconds. The salt will survive. ]

You sure you're not military? That might be the best strategy I've heard in the past month.

[Everything else aside (and there's a lot to put aside) that reaction manages to get a sharp little grin out of Taako.]

Still not military, just spent a century on a spaceship with six other assholes, one of who was my sister.

[So you know, same principle.]

[ Finn doesn't need siblings to understand the cut of that jib. The miracle of understanding bridges so many gaps. ]

Fair enough. Almost sounds like how I grew up.

[ But learning that about Taako, it almost... makes things make more sense. The thing is, Finn's lived in close quarters, practically on top of everyone else, his entire life. Even if he never quite fit, even if he was always on the outside somehow, there were other cadets and trainees with him almost constantly.

That's only twenty-three years, give or take. His whole life, sure, but a drop in the bucket compared to the idea of a century. Not even counting Taako's sister beyond that, since he doesn't know what the situation was there.

He doesn't like being alone. At all. He doesn't like having too much space.

So part of him is kinda like, you know what, maybe Taako makes one percent more sense now. ]

It sure is something, huh?

[In a lot of way, Taako has been trained out of his fear of being alone, mostly due to sheer necessity after what Lucretia did. It never made sense, that nagging sense of how wrong it was to be alone despite the fact he'd always been alone.

It's not something he particularly likes thinking about. His fingers drum idly against the neck of the bottle before he seems to reach some sort of internal conclusion as he straightens up.]

You wanna watch a movie? I'm, uh, I'm guessing you're not sleeping cause I'm not sleeping and you're already here, so...

[Might as well do something.]

[ Honestly I wish Finn were the kind of person who would just blow a raspberry in answer to that first question, because that's his personal spiritual take on it. He shrugs one shoulder instead. ]

If you're willing to have me. I can always still leave if you want.

[ Taako hasn't struck him as indecisive whenever he's talked to him. He doesn't strike him as a person who feels obligated to offer things he's not willing to offer. But Finn broadly prefers to establish choice where he can. Plus someone saying "you showed up at my house in the middle of the night, get out" has a lot more bearing than whether or not they still felt lonely and sad afterwards. He's pretty sure. ]

[It's a little bit motivated by a guilt-adjacent emotion, since he feels kinda shitty that Finn is dealing with his shit, even if neither of them made the decision to be in this situation.

But he also wouldn't hate company, and it's right here, without having to wake up Lup or Magnus.]

It's cool, I'm not gonna kick you out. [This is Taako speak for 'I'd like you to stay' because he's bad at verbalising when he wants things relating to his emotional state.] Do you want like good or a drink that isn't fifty percent alcohol? The fridge is always pretty well stocked and I think I've got some danishes left over?

[ When you've felt one shitty emotion, you've felt em all. Truly this is the lifestyle. Open emotional communication who??? Tonight no one knows her. ]

A drink would be fine. Not big on eating late. [ His insomniac routines are all their own. Mostly they involve lying there pretending to not be awake, while Poe is like 4 feet away in the same weird living room couch fort, also pretending not to be awake. ]

Can I ask you a question? I don't think it's too personal, but that can be your call. It's about something I saw.

[Rather than ask Finn what specific drink he'd like, Taako just pulls a jug of iced tea from the fridge and pours a glass. It's mint and apple, nice and refreshing.

As for the question, he responds without missing a beat:]

It's cool, I think I know what you're gonna ask. [This is about where Finn's fear response should kick in, because it's Taako and he knows what Taako is like by now.] Yes, my dick is that big.

[There's a grin, before he waves a hand to dismiss his own shitty joke.]

Hit me with the question, bubbale.

Edited (fusses) 2018-03-12 04:27 (UTC)

[ No Fear
"I think I know what you're gonna ask."
One Fear

And how well-founded it is. Why does he try to ask this man normal questions. Why does he like him and care if he's really sad in the middle of the night. Finn dies inside. He ascends this plane. Okay, that's being overdramatic.

But there is 100% a moment of legitimate eye-widening alarm?

Finn looks like he believes Taako deadass really thinks that's his question for a second, and he sets his cup down harder than necessary in the beat before Taako waves it off. Not hard enough to break it. He just instinctively embodies that run vine with the umbrellas and it's like, well shit, I need to do an action before I try to explain this, but I only have this glass. ]

[ Hot update: it takes like less than a second for Taako to let on that he's not being serious, and Finn still hates this. ]

Taako, I'm gonna start carrying things around that I can throw at you.

[It's such a shame that it's the middle of the night and Taako lives with other people that he doesn't want to annoy by waking up at an ungodly hour. So he has to stifle his laughter, an action that's only moderately successful despite covering his mouth with both hands as he nearly doubles over.]

Ohhhh my gods.

[Like it was an okay joke? But Finn's reaction is so much better?]

It'd be fucking worth it, holy shit.

[ This is exactly why people keep doing this kind of thing to him. Finn will never develop enough chill to nip it in the bud.

But hey. It's a genuine spike of humor. And he knows without even a little doubt that it's not his, so it's easy to compartmentalize that bad boy.

He rolls his eyes. ]

Yeah, of course it would.

[After another few moments Taako has calmed down enough to be a real person again, the laughter fading to the occasional little chuckle. He still winks at Finn as he reclaims his glass and heads into the living room, just working on the assumption that Finn will follow.¡

Gimme the actual question, pumpkin, the curiosity is killing me.

[It isn't, but if it's something personal he'd like a chance to lie about it at least.]

[ A fair and accurate assumption. ]

All I wanted to ask was why you put anything that looks that much like a torture device anywhere near your eyes.

[ But go off about dicks, he guesses??

He could ask about the thing with the face changing. He's curious about it. But he prefaced with not too personal. And secondhand eyelash-curling is kind of horrifying when you've never watched someone do it before. ]

[It takes him a second to understand what's being asked, which mostly involves Taako squinting at Finn as he gets comfy on the couch, but eventuality it clicks.]

You mean an eyelash curler? It just like... it makes your eyelashes look nicer? It doesn't hurt or anything.

[It doesn't occur to him that Finn might not have seen one before because surely he has at least one friend who's vain. Surely.

It also doesn't occur to him that this means Finn saw his morning routine and all that involves, but he'll get there in a moment.]

Edited (dont @ me) 2018-03-18 15:55 (UTC)

[ It's too late to feel shame. Taako threw embarrassment out the window. Now Finn, local nerd, is on the hunt for knowledge. Sorry, his two best friends are Poe "doesn't need to try" Dameron and Rey, who he loves above everything but who is also a sand gremlin.

An eyelash curler.

This is incredible. ]

So someone came up with that because they wanted their eyelashes to look better.

[ Like, he won't judge pride and effort in appearance as a principle. One can assume he gets it to a certain extent because otherwise he'd look like a shaggy disaster. It's just so specific. ]

Uh, yeah? Eyes and lips are kind of the big ones when it comes to make up and all that shit, eyelash curlers just make ya eyes pop without worrying about mascara.

[This is vanity 101, Finn.

More importantly, though, Taako grins a little.]

You wanna try it?

Edited (Fucked up my html) 2018-03-25 00:28 (UTC)

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TAAKO

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1/2 i mean u know i had to hit this back immediately

2/2

i did know

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