Chyler Silva (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
childofaxios) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2018-01-13 09:39 pm
childofaxios) wrote in riverviewlogs2018-01-13 09:39 pm
[ open ] Help I'm alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer
who: Cadet Chyler Silva + YOU
what: Monthly log/catchall
when: January, wibbly wobbly time
where: Currently, Perimeter Guard places and communal housing. More TBA.
warnings: None atm.
i. perimeter guard - boot camp/general
a. obstacle course
[ This is, at the earth kids say, Chyler's jam. She's in the lead, hopping barriers, climbing ropes, crawling on her back underneath barbed wire like she was made to do it. She's a standout at the team obstacles in particular, encouraging those around her, waiting until last at the wall to be pulled up to the top, boosting others up with more strength than a sixteen-year-old girl has any right to possess. (Which doesn't mean she can boost people up without help.)
She comes off the field with her eyes bright and the implication of a smile on her face, even if she's breathing hard. This is familiar. It's safe. It's almost like home. ]
b. firing range
[ She doesn't miss. It's the one thing that stayed true from drill to battlefield. When Chyler pulls the trigger, she hits her target. She had the school record for accuracy at Corbulo, with rifle and small arms both.
When they hand her an assault rifle, t's a relief to handle something so familiar, even if she has to learn a slightly more primitive system. She's not as perfect with it as she wants to be. Which is why she's at the firing range in the evening after the rest of her class has gone to their barracks, with one of the instructors looking over her shoulder. There are others there practicing as well, but none of them seem to care much that someone so much younger is tagging the target like she was born with a gun in her hands. ]
c. hand-to-hand
[ Chyler isn't quite as good here as she is at the firing range. She's small. She's not heavy. She has to push herself that much more to succeed, and she thrives on the challenge of it. It's something new to do, something different to perfect.
Except she has a partner who won't hit back. His blocks are weak, his blows worse. The longer they drill against each other the more aggressive Chyler gets, drive giving way to frustration. Each hit lands harder. Her blocks start to push against his attacks. She backs him out of the line without meaning to, thinking Come on, come on, do something.
She's about to yell at him when the instructor yells at her.
"Silva! Ease up. Everyone, take a break. Cool down. Then we'll switch partners."
Chyler's caught between the shame of being called out and aggravation of the same. She braces her hands on her hips and does a circuit of the room, winding her temper in, finding her control. ]
ii. communal housing - rooftop
[ She wants to find a Spot. Somewhere like Lasky had at Corbulo. She liked that she was able to dangle her feet when they shared his. That she was in some sense able to leave the ground.
It's why she tries to roof of communal housing first, one late night after boot when she can't sleep. Not without nightmares.
She should have gotten some of that purple incense. She still can, if she wants to, but there's some risk now of someone she knows seeing her do it. She doesn't want the pity that might come with seeing her need the help.
So here she is at the railing, leaning over the edge until her feet almost leave the ground. There's no suicidal intention in it. Chyler just wants to get as much of her face into the updraft climbing the building as possible. The wind feels good. Clarifying. She needs that. ]
iii. wildcard
[ Other ideas? HMU. Might be adding more prompts later but these are the ones my brain was capable rn. ]
what: Monthly log/catchall
when: January, wibbly wobbly time
where: Currently, Perimeter Guard places and communal housing. More TBA.
warnings: None atm.
i. perimeter guard - boot camp/general
a. obstacle course
[ This is, at the earth kids say, Chyler's jam. She's in the lead, hopping barriers, climbing ropes, crawling on her back underneath barbed wire like she was made to do it. She's a standout at the team obstacles in particular, encouraging those around her, waiting until last at the wall to be pulled up to the top, boosting others up with more strength than a sixteen-year-old girl has any right to possess. (Which doesn't mean she can boost people up without help.)
She comes off the field with her eyes bright and the implication of a smile on her face, even if she's breathing hard. This is familiar. It's safe. It's almost like home. ]
b. firing range
[ She doesn't miss. It's the one thing that stayed true from drill to battlefield. When Chyler pulls the trigger, she hits her target. She had the school record for accuracy at Corbulo, with rifle and small arms both.
When they hand her an assault rifle, t's a relief to handle something so familiar, even if she has to learn a slightly more primitive system. She's not as perfect with it as she wants to be. Which is why she's at the firing range in the evening after the rest of her class has gone to their barracks, with one of the instructors looking over her shoulder. There are others there practicing as well, but none of them seem to care much that someone so much younger is tagging the target like she was born with a gun in her hands. ]
c. hand-to-hand
[ Chyler isn't quite as good here as she is at the firing range. She's small. She's not heavy. She has to push herself that much more to succeed, and she thrives on the challenge of it. It's something new to do, something different to perfect.
Except she has a partner who won't hit back. His blocks are weak, his blows worse. The longer they drill against each other the more aggressive Chyler gets, drive giving way to frustration. Each hit lands harder. Her blocks start to push against his attacks. She backs him out of the line without meaning to, thinking Come on, come on, do something.
She's about to yell at him when the instructor yells at her.
"Silva! Ease up. Everyone, take a break. Cool down. Then we'll switch partners."
Chyler's caught between the shame of being called out and aggravation of the same. She braces her hands on her hips and does a circuit of the room, winding her temper in, finding her control. ]
ii. communal housing - rooftop
[ She wants to find a Spot. Somewhere like Lasky had at Corbulo. She liked that she was able to dangle her feet when they shared his. That she was in some sense able to leave the ground.
It's why she tries to roof of communal housing first, one late night after boot when she can't sleep. Not without nightmares.
She should have gotten some of that purple incense. She still can, if she wants to, but there's some risk now of someone she knows seeing her do it. She doesn't want the pity that might come with seeing her need the help.
So here she is at the railing, leaning over the edge until her feet almost leave the ground. There's no suicidal intention in it. Chyler just wants to get as much of her face into the updraft climbing the building as possible. The wind feels good. Clarifying. She needs that. ]
iii. wildcard
[ Other ideas? HMU. Might be adding more prompts later but these are the ones my brain was capable rn. ]
no subject
This is only the second time he's met her, but even within that span, somehow, sometimes Chyler will say something, do something-- a choice of words, an expression, a muted gesture, a decision to cut something off and bury it, to pull herself together and hold tight to the control that she makes for herself-- and it'll be like talking to a reflection.
The same undefinable feeling he got looking at Rey after they'd made it off Jakku alive. The feeling he'll get talking to Cassian, sometimes. Like there's something about them that he knows without knowing what it is. Something about them that's the same. ]
Think I know that feeling, too.
[ Not for the exact same reasons, he's sure. But the sentiment of it fits like a second skin. He's got a scar across his back that marks testament. He doesn't know how to fix that. There's no turning back the clock. ]
Trying's still better than doing nothing. When it really matters.
[ So, you know. Release a prisoner and steal a TIE fighter instead of following orders. Run at a Force user with a lightsaber after he throws your friend into a tree. Run instead of staying, stay instead of running. Whichever. And maybe it ends with an empty ship sinking into the desert, and maybe it ends with an extremely painful near-death when you fail to win.
But it's worth seeing Poe Dameron alive across the tarmac. It's worth hearing that what you did gave Rey time to finish the job. ]
no subject
Chyler keeps running different scenarios in her head. What if rather than trying to evacuate the students, Corbulo's leadership made sure they were armed? What if rather than trying to hide the children they were training to fight and to kill, they let those children do their jobs? Would it have made a difference, or made the battle seem that much crueler when it was lost?
She was glad to be armed and fighting, when she died. She knows that much. She was glad to go down with a gun in her hands.
She's not a hugger. She doesn't show much physical affection at all, really. She's never gotten it, never expected it, and that lack of expectation translates into a reservedness that most people seem to think means she's cold.
So when she reaches out to fix the unevenness of Finn's shirt hem, that's really as close to a hug as she gets. ]
You're right. [ Crisp and calm. A pause, then: ] Thank you, Finn.
no subject
Sure. Anytime.
[ Honestly, he's just glad he could help even a little bit. ]