Cisco Ramon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
franciscoramon) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
riverviewlogs2017-12-28 07:53 pm
franciscoramon) wrote in riverviewlogs2017-12-28 07:53 pm
[ open ] where I end, we'll begin
who: cisco + anyone!
what: a catch-all post
when: january
where: various places
warnings: will add as needed
[ PROMPTS TBA or come plot with me @![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
platoapproved. ]
what: a catch-all post
when: january
where: various places
warnings: will add as needed
[ PROMPTS TBA or come plot with me @
no subject
[ Look, just because he's not hell-bent on revenge doesn't mean Cisco's above a little petty mockery. Besides, he honestly thinks it's probably good for him to use humor and chip away at the monolithic terrifying looming thing that Eobard Thawne has become in his mind. ]
Sounds like it was the right thing for someone to do, but maybe... not the right thing, for you. For your, um. Recovery.
[ Cisco wonders just how much choice Genji had had in the matter. Of course, it makes sense that he would want to help, with that particular undertaking. But Overwatch had saved Genji's life. Even if they told him he was under no obligation to work for them (and who knows if they even did that), he would probably feel indebted. Would probably need to stay in their good graces, if his prosthetics ever needed repair or upgrading. It's all a bit shady, from Cisco's point of view. ]
Not so sure about the whole 'steps ahead' thing. You make it sound... I don't know. Virtuous. But part of it's just realism. You're, like, a badass. You can fight. But even with my powers, it's not like I'd stand a chance against him.
[ Cisco doesn't know how strong Genji's brother must be, but chances are, it would almost certainly be a closer match than if he squared up against Eobard. When he even thinks about how it would be to confront the Reverse Flash, to fight him, Cisco's breaths go thin and quick. He would be dead in seconds. Dead faster than he could blink. Or would he draw it out again? Make Cisco dread it, the way he had the first time?
He needs to not do this: to not conjure up scenarios that will likely never happen. But he can't seem to hit the brakes, once his brain gets started. That unlikely eventuality had been unpleasantly easy for him to imagine, since October, when Eobard's ghost had seemed to be lurking everywhere he looked. Cisco shifts his arms, still keeping them crossed over his chest, but increasing the pressure, digging his fingers into his arm, trying to get control of himself. It's silly, to get worked up. He ought to be able to stop himself. ]
no subject
[ Genji's brows raise slightly at that. He's not surprised, given how observant and clearly intelligent Cisco is. ] You aren't wrong. Overwatch saved my life and I am close friends with the doctor who primarily oversaw my 'rehabilitation' but... [ He looks up, then down, and winces at a particular memory of being hit with The Doomfist. ] When I was no longer needed in dismantling my family's empire, I left.
[ And it's almost funny, how one can envy another person's perspective and experiences. He chuckles again, a raspy one. ] One doesn't need physical strength and a weapon to fight someone. I may be strong, yes, but it was a life that was chosen for me. I was put in training since the moment I could walk. [ He shrugs his shoulders. ] I am always amazed by people who are much smarter than I am, able to save lives in different ways. [ The 'like you' isn't said, but implied.
Genji notices his sudden change in body language, understanding all too well what that might be implying. He leans forward in a mirror of what he'd done for him a moment ago, and puts a hand on Cisco's shoulder. His voice is quieter. ]
Why don't you take a deep breath, all the way from the bottom of your lungs? Exhale it slowly and count to ten.
no subject
They let you?
[ Saying he left, after all, leaves room for interpretation. It's possible he'd run away, become a fugitive. Cisco knows how these things can go, even with organizations that claim to have lofty goals. It seems just as likely that he had to escape his saviors as it would be that they'd voluntarily let go of an asset they'd clearly spent a lot of money on...
He can tell that Genji is talking about him - saying he's amazed by people like him, which almost makes Cisco laugh. There's not much about him that's worth being amazed over, as far as he's concerned. Sure, he's got smarts, but... he's someone who just helps amazing people, supports them, but that doesn't mean he is special. But since Genji never actually says it is Cisco he's speaking about, he doesn't know how he can argue without seeming arrogant. So he just feels his face flush, and says nothing.
It's mildly humiliating, when Genji lays a hand on his shoulder and tells him to take a deep breath. Cisco had rather hoped that his fear had gone unnoticed, would continue to, until he could master it himself. But, of course, Genji's observant, had seen right through him. He closes his eyes, nodding, and tries to draw in as deep a breath as he can. It's harder than it ought to be, fighting against his body, making himself let out that same breath slowly, while counting. It should be simple. Shouldn't be an issue in the first place. He swallows, murmurs a quick, quiet: ]
Sorry.
[ He thinks about explaining, that he ought to offer some sort of excuse or justification to Genji, but he bites it back, focuses instead on trying for a second deep breath. He has a little more success, with this one, loosens the vice grip on his own arms as he exhales as slowly as he can. ]
no subject
I think they thought I would come back eventually. In my world, cyborgs are not looked upon very kindly by society. [ His expression gets a little pinched. ] I traveled the world after, and I only found real acceptance in a Shambali monastery in Nepal. Which is where I met my Master.
[ He doesn't want Cisco to feel embarrassed, but he couldn't just ignore it. He knows what it's like to let it fester until your fear turns into this horrible monster inside your head that seems impossible to tame. Nipping it in the bud is always easier.
Genji shakes his head gently. ] There is nothing to apologize for. [ And he leans back. ] You saw me at my worst, remember? You don't need to feel ashamed around me.
[ He folds his hands onto the table top. ] If you can find a phrase that could work as a grounding mantra, that might help. It helped me quite a lot.
no subject
I... didn't know that. Is it because of, uh, I think Hana called them omnics?
[ His knowledge about their world is relatively limited, but Hana had told him some. He'd seen her memory of the attack on Seoul, and she'd explained the basics about the war. It's only too easy, to imagine that after something like that, people might turn hateful. It makes no sense to Cisco, of course. To him, despite his body, despite the reverberations in his voice and how much of him is made of metal now, Genji's a human. But he knows, of course, that the worst prejudices were never based on anything like facts or rationality, anyway. ]
Sounds like your master was a good man.
[ Cisco feels a kind of gratitude, even though he knows nothing about the guy. He'd helped Genji, when he needed it. And in a way, is helping Cisco now, via Genji. A sort of second-hand ally. ]
What kind of phrase? I mean... does it matter what it is?
[ It's easier said than done, not feeling ashamed, but Cisco's trying to move past the embarrassment by focusing on this as just a part of the lesson. That's why he's here: to learn to stop these flashes of terror in their tracks, before they seeped into him so deeply that he would start to vibe. ]
Should I- say it out loud or is it an in your head kind of thing?
no subject
[ He doesn't really try to hide, but he navigates as easily and unassumingly as he can. Tries to avoid getting rotten eggs or garbage thrown at him, or the police called on him for merely existing in the area of other people. It's something he unfortunately learned rather quickly how to deal with. ]
He is. I hope I do him justice as I try to guide you through this. Zenyatta is a much better wordsmith than I. [ Genji's expression softens, gets a little sad, as he remembers something. ] He is an omnic as well, you see. His brother, Mondatta, was world renowned for trying to aid Omnic and Human relations. He was assassinated in London shortly before I was brought here.
[ He didn't have the chance to talk to him about it. His Master has weathered much in his two decades wandering the Earth, but...
Genji chuckles. ]
It can be whatever you like, as long as it works. It doesn't need to be deep and meaningful. It could even be an equation, or something like that. Master told me had a student who would just start reciting pi until they'd calmed down. Internally or externally.
no subject
[ Cisco is just going based on his own experiences; there are so many people here who have been baffled by the mere idea of prejudices and hatreds that Cisco had been living with his whole life. There were too many people from too many different worlds for there to be any consensus on what was 'normal', and it was freeing in a way that Cisco hadn't ever quite realized was possible. No one making fun of his name, his long hair, him having a boyfriend - people didn't even blink. It was one of the reasons he'd decided he was going to stay. ]
I think- I mean, you're doing great so far. And you're plenty good with words. I bet he'd be proud.
[ He is surprised, to hear that Genji's master was an omnic, but only for a moment. He doesn't see why not. He'd assumed it was a human, but considering what Genji had just said about how people are afraid of him, and considering what he's implying about how omnics are treated, it makes sense. Cisco's mouth turns down in a frown when Genji mentions the assassination. It would seem some things are true in almost every world. There were always going to be bad people, lashing out in violence, doing everything they could to rip peace and happiness away from everyone else. ]
That's awful.
[ He casts around for a phrase he can use. At first, he thinks it should be something powerful, something personal. But when he tries for something of huge significance in his own life, his mind goes blank, and his chest starts to feel tight again. So instead he just reaches for the first thing that comes to mind. He mutters it under his breath: ]
That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you."
[ Hell yeah, he's quoting Princess Bride. He would've gone with the Inigo Montoya line, but that was a little too revengey, for something meant to calm him down. Besides, he is a total sap. ]
no subject
[ His expression turns a little somber again. He'd met Mondatta only a few times, never for any extended period either... he knows at some point he and Zenyatta disagreed on their respective course of action. Mondatta stayed at the temple, Zenyatta wandered the world; his adventures obvious by the exposed wires on his chassis, the scuffs all across his face and body. Zenyatta doesn't have regrets but... he wonders. At some point, he'll be able to ask him.
And what Cisco says does manage to get him to look something approaching bashful. He reaches behind to rub at the back of his neck; apparently the thought of praise from Zenyatta is one of the few things that can get him a little wide eyed. ]
Thank you, one only hopes. As long as it assists you, I suppose it's alright if it's a tad clumsily done. Right?
[ He leans back and watches Cisco ponder, hoping he hasn't put him on the spot or anything... Genji's brows raise a little in mild confusion before it hits him. And he sputters a laugh, reaching up to cover his mouth as his eyes crinkle with mirth. ]
Sorry! Sorry. [ Muffled from behind his hand. He removes it and shakes his head. ] I'm not mocking you, I just— I know that one. We watched it all the time in the break room in Overwatch. [ And Genji had tried very hard to act like he wasn't interested.
He puts a hand next to his mouth in fake conspiracy, speaking in a stage whisper. ]
Just between you and me, I may have said 'You seem nice, I hate to kill you' on a mission or two in the past.
no subject
[ There is a kind of finality in the way Cisco says it; he can tell Genji later, if he needs to, the various ways he can relate. Not about being a cyborg, obviously, but the ways being here has been freeing for him. But for now, it's enough for him to smile softly, to suggest that he can relate and leave it at that. ]
Right. I mean- help doesn't have to be elegant to be... help and. You've already helped, a lot.
[ Cisco blinks in confusion when Genji starts to laugh - not offended, or even close to it, but a little baffled. He just assumes, until Genji explains that he knows The Princess Bride, that Genji thought it was some kind of original poetry, or else that it's too long to be workable. But then Genji's explaining that he knows the move, and Cisco smiles, slow at first but then wide and bright. ]
It's, like, my favorite movie ever. I could probably quote the entire thing. We gotta watch it together sometime. And I totally get you quoting Inigo. You've got that whole wise master swordsman with a sense of humor thing going.
no subject
He wipes at the corner of his eye, still smiling. ]
We absolutely should. I had almost forgotten about it until you said that. Ah, yes, I remember now. I may have accidentally lied earlier, I think I've seen more older movies than I thought.
[ He leans back, looking nostalgic. ] My mother would put on movies in English to help us learn, when I was a boy. I liked the one, what was it— with the cowboy and the astronaut, very dated 3D animation.
no subject
Oh, yeah, Toy Story! I've totally got a copy of that one, if you're feeling like a trip down memory lane.
[ He wonders about Genji's mother, then - about how he was raised overall. His family were part of the mob? Damn. And he'd been taught to fight, so young... which is messed up. But he'd had a mother who wanted him to learn English, too, who'd played cute movies for him to help him learn. Not all bad, then. So often that's how it was, though. Even the most well-intentioned parents could do a lot of harm. He wonders if either of them had been alive, when Hanzo almost killed his little brother. But that isn't something he can ask. Too painful, and not necessary in any way, apart from his terrible curiosity. ]
It was the same, for me. When I was really little, before I was in school and everything, 'cause we didn't speak it at home. Like, there were other kids in the neighborhood, and there was church, but. Still definitely learned a lot of English from, like, daytime reruns of '90s sci-fi. Probably knew the word laser before I knew, like, football.
[ He'd been immersed young enough that he had no traceable accent, but he is still bilingual, can slip between English and Spanish as needed. Not that there are a whole lot of people he's met here who speak the latter. Only little Laura.
Cisco notices, then, that the tightness in his chest has gone, that he's breathing easily once more. Genji really has a knack for calming him down. ]
I feel better. Thank you. I'll try that. Next time I'm feeling scared.
no subject
[ That sounds like a mundane and fun thing to do... Shigeru would probably enjoy it, as well as Hana and Gladio. (Maybe he could get Reyes to skulk around.)
Where his mother is concerned, Genji has the most positive memories of her. He wonders what he would think of her now, if she hadn't died when he was fifteen. Would she have vetoed the order to have him 'removed'? Would she have him smuggled out, perhaps to Overwatch itself? Would she have... agreed? (Would she have thought he was a disappointment as well? is the real question, underneath that.)
But he won't ever know those things. So he's content to envelop himself in the happier memories of her helping them with languages, training them, taking them out to see the festivals and the flowers when they bloomed. She tried her best to hide the blood on her hands.
His grin turns into a nostalgic little smile when Cisco talks of his childhood, nodding. ]
I understand that. My brother had more intense, formal education and training than I did. I just picked it up from our mother, school and movies and video games. Eventually I was just sort of tossed into dealings with English speaking gangs and told to sink or swim, more or less. [ He chuckles. ] I'm only genuinely fluent in the two, but you pick up a lot of others when you work for an international organization. We all had to figure out ways to communicate with each other.
[ But at what he says next, it makes Genji genuinely glad. Warmth expands in his chest for a moment. ]
I am very glad to hear it. We can continuing working on things as you feel up to it. And maybe see about this abilities of yours... I do know what it's like to have to learn control.
[ He's talking about his augmentations and something else, where a certain tattoo on his back is concerned. ]
no subject
It's wild, imagining Genji growing up around a mix of formality (especially for his brother) that reminds Cisco of Eddie, and at the same time, around so much criminality. It must have just seemed commonplace, to him. The same way it had seemed for a long time to Cisco as if his own family's flaws were perfectly normal. ]
Sure. I can bring my gear, next time. I got these goggles I made, they, uh- they basically stimulate the fear centers of my brain, so I can trigger visions when I need to. And the gauntlets are... to help channel the blasts. So they're not so- so I can fine-tune them better.
[ So he can blast stuff without vibrating it to pieces or causing serious injury on accident, in other words. But he's glad to leave all those demonstrations for another day. He feels like he's been through the wringer, after all those disclosures, and emotions. But it's a good kind of exhaustion. Like he's taken the first step. ]