[Closed] It's too late to say you're sorry, say you're sorry still...

[burntbridges]

who: Letha Regis (burntbridges ) and Ivar Ragnarsson (ragnarsson )
what: Baby mama drama. Magic baby mama drama.
when: A few days before Christmas.
where: Letha's house
warnings: Possible homicide attempts, lots of cruel insults, possibly some crude talk about killing babies. It's Letha and Ivar, what can you do.

--

Yes, she knew he would find her eventually. Ivar was not stupid, and Letha was not a good liar. She had even been too sentimental not to return to their old house, which had barely changed since she left. She had spent a few hours after returning to Riverview, sitting on the fur rug by the empty fireplace and sobbing. She hadn't been able to stomach going near the bed until she was nearly dead on her feet. She'd nearly torn the place apart afterward in a frenzy, looking for her crow pin and failing to find it, and then gone into another frenzy cleaning the whole place until it looked exactly, pristinely like it had when she first arrived.

She hadn't even opened the door to Winter's room. She was too afraid to see it stripped barren and empty - just like her womb, just like her heart.

But Ivar would find her eventually, that much was inevitable. She was cleaning the floor when the knock finally came, and she had the distinct sense without even thinking about it that it couldn't be anyone else. She let him stay out there in the cold for a while, but she couldn't fight that part of her that fretted over him still, wanted to be sure he was warm and had a place to rest out of his chair and a mug of ale.

She takes a moment to grab her cloak and veil, and hastily hides her appearance before moving to unlock the door. She doesn't open it, though; she just returns to her cleaning, sure that he heard the noise and will enter on his own.

Comments

[burntbridges]

"I miss you." She mutters meekly, staring up at him like a portrait of distress. With a tentative hand she reaches to touch the seat of his wheelchair, careful not to touch his legs, and tries to look as dainty and submissive as she can manage. "I shouldn't have left, I know I shouldn't, but I'm back and I- I just want a chance to fix things. With her, and- with you. Please."

She still loves him, the sort of burning ache that makes her almost choke up when he speaks of 'not getting hurt like that again'. She had never imagined it was possible to really hurt him, before she left. But of course she always finds new and exciting ways to ruin things that no one else knew could be ruined so completely.

"I love you, Ivar." She offers belatedly, almost like a plea. "I loved you when I left and I loved you while I was gone, and I love you now. And I'm sorry I never said it enough and I'm sorry telling me the same didn't make me stay. I'm so sorry..."

[ragnarsson]

Ivar listens to her words and he's torn. Part of him wants to just sweep the past aside and begin anew with her. But he's been hurt and he never wants to go through that pain again. So his words are careful and measured.

"I loved you when you left and for a long time after you were gone. But I'm not sure I can allow myself to love you again." The whole time she'd been gone, he's been attempting to do his best to move on. Now he has feelings for others in Riverview and those won't just be shunted aside because she's back. At least he has enough tact not to twist the knife by mentioning that. "I told you need to prove yourself to be a mother to Winter. You need to do the same with me. Show me why you deserve my love." It's going to take a long time to repair the trust she broke.

He leans over and gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead, a gesture that surprises even himself. Mad as he was when he came in, she's humbled herself, so he'll offer some partial forgiveness. "Now dry your eyes and I'll take you to see your daughter."

[burntbridges]

The kiss surprises her as well, and for a moment her heart swells up against her ribs and makes her chest ache. She lets out a quiet little sob, like a single bubble rising to the surface, and with all her heart she wants to throw her arms around him and hold him, but she isn't sure he would let her and so she stays on the ground. A few more moments pass while she tries to slow her breathing and calm down, before she gets to her feet and nods hesitantly.

"Where have you been staying with her?"

Surely he wouldn't have kept her at the residential building, but she wasn't here either... had Ivar gotten a new house? Had he moved on so much from her, while she spent sleepless nights even now wishing his arms were wrapped around her...? She tries her best to shake the thought from her head, as it teeters dangerously on the thought of Ivar having a new woman.

[ragnarsson]

He goes into the kitchen and grabs a dish towel, running it in the sink before bringing it back to Letha to wipe her face off with. She's got running makeup and tear streaks all over the place. No need for the entire city to know what's been going on with the two of them.

"In a mansion. I moved in there with Lola, Nico, and the man that owns it, Marco." There's a flicker of something on his face when he mentions Marco's name, there and then gone again just as quick. It's infatuation, the same look he used to get in the early days of their own relationship. He hopes Letha doesn't notice it. Explaining that the person he moved onto was a man is best saved for a time when they both are emotionally drained.

[burntbridges]

Lucky for both of them, she's busy scrubbing her face when she mentions him. She's not sure how she feels about him living with her two best friends, but maybe that will work well in her favor... who knows. She's gotten enough of her makeup off and gets to her feet, moving a bit numbly to the sink to try and clean the towel off.

"It's... good, that she gets to live in a big house." Her voice is reserved; she had chosen a humble house like this to try and escape what her family expected her, a small rebellion. It was odd to know that Winter was living a life more appropriate for a Regis child. "My brothers and I... our house was three times the size of this one, and it was still a bit crowded."

She almost asks if the mansion has an elevator (she'd missed them), but... thinks better of it after a while, and just walks back over to Ivar, wringing her hands nervously.

"Ivar, before we go to see her, I need to ask you. I need to know if... it would be alright to touch you. I don't expect much, just- a hug. I'm now sure it hasn't been so long for everyone else, but it's been ten months since I last saw you, and- it would just be very nice to make sure that you're real and I'm not dreaming all of this again."

Again. It's been a near-daily fear, to wake up and realize she was still in Varberg.

[ragnarsson]

"I think you'll like the way I did the nursery up." It's definitely got the strange gothic sensibilities that both Ivar and Letha seem to like. "Her two favorite toys are the lamb and the two-headed teddy bear." Letha has missed out on so much with Winter and it makes Ivar actually feel sorry for her. Winter's never really had the chance to bond with Letha at all. The two of them will be starting over from scratch.

Ivar seems to close off for a long moment when Letha asks if she can touch him. It hurt when she left and it is still hurting after she has come back now. Ivar doesn't know how he's ever going to be able to get over her. He should refuse, make a sarcastic comment that they've already spend enough time with him pinning her to the ground.

But he doesn't.

Instead, he gives a stiff, short nod. "Come over here then." She still smells the same, even after all these months later.

[burntbridges]

If anything, it's proof that he doesn't completely hate her as much as she'd feared. She'd fully expected him to not even dignify her with a response, but she always pushes her luck just in case and has never managed to unlearn the habit. A shy smile spreads over her lips, and she moves forward to lean down and wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him as tightly as she can and taking a deep breath.

He still smells the same, and he's still just as rigid and uncomfortable. She had missed her family, she had missed her husband, she had missed the crowing of her pin, but she had missed this smell and this awkward hug more than anything in the world. More than anything she could fathom in any world. She could nearly cry again.

"I'm going to earn you back." She vows quietly, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before leaning back with possibly the first truly grateful expression she's ever given him.