riverviewlogs | An aching in my head

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An aching in my head

who: Rey, Finn, Poe, ~~Kyle~~ Ren, and ~~whoever else wants parts of the drama of the wars in our stars.~~ open!
what: Rey gets sick and finds herself taken to the hospital.
when: 12/26--12/29
where: Hospital
warnings: None for now--will update as needed

For a few weeks Rey hadn't been getting enough sleep. It started off with wild dreams that made it difficult to get a night's rest. The dreams gave way to nightmares; sometimes she dreamed she was still on Jakku, waiting for her parents with hunger gnawing at her stomach only to fall into the belly of an abandon ship, break her wrists and die a painful death. Sometimes, she dreamed of Poe and Finn, of being unable to help them as the First Order crushed the Resistance. Sometimes, she relived the very vision that told her to take her first steps. Whatever the dreams were, she woke up with a start and unable to go back to sleep.

Not sleeping was something she was used to. If she wore herself out enough, she could pass out from exhaustion and have a dreamless sleep--something she would prefer at this point. Like anything else in her life, she didn't complain, only pushed herself through the situation thinking she could handle it. Then her world started to change. First it was the weather, changing from a crisp coolness to icy cold. It had silly of Rey to go out without the proper attire in the beginning, but she learned to bundle up, but it wasn't enough. Kylo Ren then appeared and Rey found herself stressed over that--trying to find a way to protect her friends from a man she didn't believe was truly a monster...

The stress of that, combined with worrying over Poe being in the hospital didn't do well to help get any sleep.

Over the past few days she had developed a slight cough, believing it was maybe the coldness in the air that her lungs weren't used to. She didn't think much of it, continuing to go about her duties within the Perimeter Guard and other obligations. If she just pushed through it, she would be okay. Rey failed to realize how bad she was getting. When she had gone to bed the night before, she opted to sleep on the couch, curled up with a blanket. At least she made progress from sleeping on the floor to the couch.

When Poe went to go wake her up, her skin appeared clammy with a faint redness to her cheeks. She wasn't responding no matter how loud he called her name, or nudged her. Finn touched her forehead and felt how hot she was, and before the trio knew it, they were at the hospital. The doctors and nurses were quick to put Rey in a bed, and administer fluids. Different questions were asked: if either of them had noticed a change in her behavior, if she was eating and if so what.

In the end, it was the decision of the doctors that Rey stay in the hospital until she was better. Years of malnutrition had made it harder for her body to stay warm, making her more susceptible to the cold, and a weakened immune system. The hospital staff would have to keep her on a diet to help her body absorb the proper nutrients and help combat the influenza she had.

By the time Rey wakes up from the ordeal, she feels weak and feels a pricking sensation in her right arm. Now it's time for her to recover...and she won't be too thrilled about it.

Best of luck whoever decides to check in on her, she probably won't be in the best of moods and may or may not try to get out of bed.

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He doesn't make an appearance at the hospital until the traitor and the pilot have left for their shifts with the Perimeter Guard. Though Ren doesn't fear them, he's trying to uphold Rey's terms with him, and really, getting into a fight here, of all places, would be more trouble than it's worth.

One doesn't even need the Force to sense how hesitant he is about this visit, not with the way Kylo Ren's carrying himself, full of uncertainty, rather than purpose. But he doesn't waste time pacing around or anything; he still moves right for Rey's room. And when he enters, he takes a moment to look her over before speaking.

"Maybe you were the one who could have used a scarf."

Like the one he's wearing right now, the utterly unexpected gift from the scavenger. It may be a bit difficult to make out amongst the blacks of everything else he's wearing, but it's there! The only thing that really stands out as a splash of color is the book he has in his gloved hands.

Rey sensed someone was outside her door, but figured it was another nurse or someone who wanted to read her chart and see if anything else needed to be done. She was curled up on her bed, trying to sleep, trying to rest, but...she was left agitated. There were things she could and wanted to do, but she promised not to argue with the medics or do anything stupid.

So when she looked to see who had come to her room, she was surprised to see him. Did he know she was sick? Or...was it something else? Rey found herself sitting upright, briefly wondering if he was here to kill her-I'm not here to fight with you. Right..he didn't want to pick a fight...at least from what she remembered.

At least tonight, she had some more color to her cheeks, and the dark circles under her eyes had lessened. Food, liquids and a lot of rest would do that.

"Maybe..." she replied softly, taking him in, and barely could make out the scarf she had given him. A small act of kindness...something to show she was trying to put aside their differences to move forward.

"Glad you were able to find it. Didn't think you'd actually pick up your present..." Rey begins, feeling a bit awkward about seeing him and for some odd reason feels compelled to let him know something else.

"It wasn't the snow that put me here." It wasn't their silly little game of throwing snowballs at each other that caused her to be here. It may have been a factor, but it wasn't what ultimately put her in this position. Rey shifted a little, pulling her legs back.

"You can sit if you like." On the chair that others have sat in, or on her bed. He would be able to see the two small plants people have left for her to help her recover on the side table.

Ren stills by the doorway when Rey sits up as if ready to go on the defensive, even in her current state. Though he means her no harm, he can respect her vigilance-- relate to it, even. After all, he knows full well what can happen if one lets their guard down, even in sleep. He'd do the same, if their circumstances were switched around.

Her condition is... less than optimal, but she appears to be on the mend. A few days with rest and medical supervision will do that. There's an agitation he can sense in the room, and it's practically rolling off of her in waves. Clearly, she'd rather be out of this room already.

Ren lifts his brows. "You offered a gift with the assumption I wouldn't accept it?" Despite his questioning, he... almost didn't pick up the present. But the gesture was appreciated, being both practical and in line with his whole... aesthetic. Now, though, he finds himself feeling a touch awkward, too.

And then that awkwardness gives way to an odd sense of relief, when Rey informs him that he wasn't the one who made her sick (BY FORCE DUMPING SNOW OVER HER HEAD). He furrows his brow, that relief feeling even stranger to him than the awkwardness, and he tries to shake it before taking her up on her offer to sit.

Her room, with the small tokens from her friends, is lightyears different from the First Order medbays he's accustomed to. Dark, sterile, no little comforts or company to be had. (Wouldn't have needed them. Frivolous, childish comforts for the weak. Though if that's his own thought, or something Snoke once told him, he can't tell the difference.)

"I..." He what? Why is he here? To visit and make idle chitchat? Ren glances down at the book in his hands, then offers it to Rey. "A gift. To return the favor."

"I offered a gift with the assumption you wouldn't go into my room to retrieve it...or think it was a trap." Because old habits are hard to break. If someone would've asked her if she would ever give Kylo Ren a gift, she would've laughed. Except now..it had become a reality. She had given him something, not to sway him to the Light, but...to show kindness, maybe a peace offering. Rey had no intentions of telling Poe and Finn what she did, they would interject and might pick a fight about it.

The small tokens she had in the room were different than the ones she had in her former home. By far, these tokens held more value to her, and more color. Something to remind her to get better, and to show that people cared for her. It was...touching to be given these items...or maybe it was an honor. Either way, she was surprised that he would sit on her bed, close enough to be within reach.

"..A gift?" her eyebrows drew together in confusion, taking the item from him, careful not to move her right arm too much before of the damn needle. What she wouldn't give for a bacta tank right now. That would make the healing all the more faster.

She doesn't open the book right away, rather, her hands go over the front and back cover, inspecting and handling it with great care. Her eyes flicker upward to look at him, silently asking if she could open it even though it was hers now.

"Thank you..." she murmured softly, daring to open the book only to stare it in shock. Beautiful penmanship...and notes? Notes on the Force...

"Did..did you write this?"

"I knew it wasn't a trap." He sounds a little bit smug about that. But it was the only thing he'd been certain of, with her offer.

When Rey inspects the book, he feels another strange sensation: nervousness, an emotion he thought he'd trained himself out of. But rejection is a fear that runs deep in him (one that's been cultivated by his Supreme Leader, though Kylo refuses to acknowledge that, let alone believe it to be true), and there's a little spike of it in his gut. There's something vulnerable in giving gifts, he realizes now, belatedly.

As she looks to him for the go-ahead to open the book, he nods once then quickly pulls his gaze away, suddenly very interested in his hands. At least until she asks him a question, and he brings his eyes up to look at Rey again.

"I did," he confirms, a gentleness in his voice that... typically only Rey has been privy to so far. Calligraphy had started as a way of grounding himself, when he was training under his uncle. Learning patience and focus. It's a practice he's taken up again, here, with his frustrating abundance of idle time.

The gentleness in his voice reminds Rey that he is still human. That beneath the anger, the hatred...the need for power, is someone who is just as lonely as her. Someone who knew the pain of being abandoned, left behind as well as her. Her eyes look up from the book to him, surprised that he would give her something as precious as this. Notes, a lesson on the Force.

No strings attached as far as she could tell.

"Thank you," she says again, her words dripping with sincerity. It meant a lot for him to give this to her. To give her something that had been out of her reach for so long. Carefully, she closes the text, setting it aside in favor of reaching out to him, gently placing her hand on top of his.

"I'll be careful with it." Because she didn't want to damage it at any cost. He put a lot of thought into it. And that...that was touching.

"How...did you know I was here?"

His nervousness fades with her thanks, and there's a slight relaxing of the tension he tends to carry himself with... AND THEN SHE TOUCHES HIS HAND. He blinks and glances down, eyes a little widened for just a brief moment, just from sheer surprise. Though he's still wearing his gloves, it's as if he can still feel the warmth of her skin through them. And then, slowly, he turns his hand over under hers, so that their palms touch.

Just a little way to reciprocate the gesture.

"I... sensed it in the Force," he admits. Not the specifics, obviously, but: "Something unusual, a little off." And then it was just a matter of asking around. Perhaps they're not friends, perhaps she'll never want to learn from him, but he can't deny it: Rey is the only person he feels a connection to. Lonely, thrown away like garbage, but still yearning for family and belonging, and trying to find it where she can.

It surprising how easy, almost too easy, it was for her to reach out to him. To simply place her hand on top of his leather glove, thinking of him as a person and not as someone who was supposed to be her enemy. The man who was part of the First Order, who killed Han, and injured Poe. She should withdraw her hand from his, or he should draw back, but he doesn't. He turns his hand allowing their palms to meet...

His hand...she swears she can feel how warm it is beneath her own. It's...a strange feeling that makes her heart beat quicken for a moment, and hard to tell if she should move her hand back..

"I didn't think you could pick up on such things." That he could sense something was off with her, or that he would've spoken to others about her. He had gone out of his way to look for her, rather than hunting her down and tried to convince her to join him. In this moment...he was human. Showing himself to be more than the monster she initially thought him to be.

"I wasn't expecting you to come...or anyone really.." her eyes look down to the blanket, opening up a little to him. Telling him that she wasn't expecting anyone to visit her, thinking she would simply be stuck in a hospital with no visitors. That she didn't think anyone would want to visit her...to show she mattered.

Likewise, he doesn't know if he should withdraw his hand, and so he leaves it, finding it oddly warm-- in a different way from just a surface heat. It's a sort of warmth that blooms from within, one that's been lost to him for quite some time.

"We live in the same building," he points out. "The proximity... helps." After all, he spends his days meditating and training (INSTEAD OF WORKING), and so, Rey's become a familiar presence in the Force. He has a baseline of 'normal,' and when there are aberrations, he can't help but notice

He keeps his eyes on Rey, even as she looks down. That's a sentiment he understands, and it's... interesting, really, how somebody who's as obviously loved as Rey is could still feel that way. At least with Ren, it's the truth: there's nobody here who'd visit him if he were in this hospital.

"Because you're used to being alone?" The inflection at the end is faint, as if he's asking, but not really asking.

It's a strange, but comforting warmth that Rey is feeling. Touching his hand, holding it like this, it was different than the way she reached out to Finn. She reached out for her best friend in times of need or comfort. For Ren, she did it to thank him, and now....she didn't think about letting go. Rather, her hand shifted to allow their palms to touch and lace their fingers together.

"Right...right, of course." They do live in the same building, but it's hard for Rey to recall that because no one is going to his floor to start trouble. Plus, she does live with Poe and Finn, and between the two of them, it's cramped living, but they make it work. But, they lived near one another and he could tell through the Force that something was off when she wasn't there anymore. It made her wonder if he felt the moment when she passed out from her illness and if he felt...worried or concerned.

She can't help but think if their roles were reversed...she would've gone to see him. Just to see how he was. As cruel as he could be, he deserved to have at least one person in his corner to check on him. And maybe to make sure Poe or anyone didn't disturbed him.

"Yes," she whispered to him, looking back up for their eyes to meet. "On my own and no one caring if..." she lived or died, that had been the case on Jakku.

"But I will say this, you don't want to be here. I'd rather eat portions again than the food they're serving here."

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An aching in my head

ARRIVES FASHIONABLY LATE

LOVE YOU SO MUCH

<333

<3 <3

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