An aching in my head

[talentedscavenger]

who: Rey, Finn, Poe, Kyle Ren, and whoever else wants parts of the drama of the wars in our stars. open!
what: Rey gets sick and finds herself taken to the hospital.
when: 12/26--12/29
where: Hospital
warnings: None for now--will update as needed

For a few weeks Rey hadn't been getting enough sleep. It started off with wild dreams that made it difficult to get a night's rest. The dreams gave way to nightmares; sometimes she dreamed she was still on Jakku, waiting for her parents with hunger gnawing at her stomach only to fall into the belly of an abandon ship, break her wrists and die a painful death. Sometimes, she dreamed of Poe and Finn, of being unable to help them as the First Order crushed the Resistance. Sometimes, she relived the very vision that told her to take her first steps. Whatever the dreams were, she woke up with a start and unable to go back to sleep.

Not sleeping was something she was used to. If she wore herself out enough, she could pass out from exhaustion and have a dreamless sleep--something she would prefer at this point. Like anything else in her life, she didn't complain, only pushed herself through the situation thinking she could handle it. Then her world started to change. First it was the weather, changing from a crisp coolness to icy cold. It had silly of Rey to go out without the proper attire in the beginning, but she learned to bundle up, but it wasn't enough. Kylo Ren then appeared and Rey found herself stressed over that--trying to find a way to protect her friends from a man she didn't believe was truly a monster...

The stress of that, combined with worrying over Poe being in the hospital didn't do well to help get any sleep.

Over the past few days she had developed a slight cough, believing it was maybe the coldness in the air that her lungs weren't used to. She didn't think much of it, continuing to go about her duties within the Perimeter Guard and other obligations. If she just pushed through it, she would be okay. Rey failed to realize how bad she was getting. When she had gone to bed the night before, she opted to sleep on the couch, curled up with a blanket. At least she made progress from sleeping on the floor to the couch.

When Poe went to go wake her up, her skin appeared clammy with a faint redness to her cheeks. She wasn't responding no matter how loud he called her name, or nudged her. Finn touched her forehead and felt how hot she was, and before the trio knew it, they were at the hospital. The doctors and nurses were quick to put Rey in a bed, and administer fluids. Different questions were asked: if either of them had noticed a change in her behavior, if she was eating and if so what.

In the end, it was the decision of the doctors that Rey stay in the hospital until she was better. Years of malnutrition had made it harder for her body to stay warm, making her more susceptible to the cold, and a weakened immune system. The hospital staff would have to keep her on a diet to help her body absorb the proper nutrients and help combat the influenza she had.

By the time Rey wakes up from the ordeal, she feels weak and feels a pricking sensation in her right arm. Now it's time for her to recover...and she won't be too thrilled about it.

Best of luck whoever decides to check in on her, she probably won't be in the best of moods and may or may not try to get out of bed.

Comments

[volitaunt]

And here's Poe, smoothing her hair back from her face and looking more like his dad than he realizes. "How long have you been feeling sick?"

Because he doesn't believe for a second that this came out of nowhere. He doesn't believe for a second that she wasn't hiding her illness from the both of them. He's kicking himself for being too caught up or too oblivious to see it, even if he realizes (in a way that doesn't abdicate him of guilt) that she probably survived on Jakku by being able to hide weakness from anyone who might take advantage.

[talentedscavenger]

There's a slow nod of Rey's head. She would listen to the medics, do as they wanted. She wouldn't cause too much trouble, and won't try to remove the IV again. Guilt starts to settle in her heart. It wasn't her intention to make either of them worry. She thought she had a handle on things.

Poe's question doesn't get answered right away.

"I thought I had it under control," she began to say, not looking at the other man, her hands clenching for a moment, hating that she wasn't stronger to fight this off.

"I didn't think much of it, really.. I thought.." there's a pause as she controls her breathing, making it look like she was pensive rather than trying to keep her coughing down. One way to hide things. Did he want to know everything? They needed to know...

"..A few weeks, maybe a month. I had a hard time getting sleep, didn't think much of it. When it got colder, I thought I wasn't used to it even when I used a coat and gloves. I didn't think it was a big deal, thought..between everything that was going on, I could deal with it later."

Everything going on...the fight she had with Poe, dealing with Kylo Ren appearing on the Moon, and then Poe in the hospital. All that stress and lack of sleep would've wrecked havoc on her body.

[bythehand]

This is Poe at boot camp all over again, only the universe didn't have the grace to put them on a running track and make it obvious early on. It was easy to just think-- it's a distant moon, a changing season, it was easy to assume this was something fast-striking that she could have picked up in the past week.

Maybe a month. It could have been so much worse. They could have been so much less lucky. There are so many things that could have gone wrong. Why is that the story of nearly everything happening to them lately?

Finn tells himself not to get angry. Not at Rey for hiding it, not at himself for somehow not noticing, not when it's too late now to do anything about it. He tells himself not to get angry, and as one often finds when they do that, it turns out telling himself not to feel it doesn't do anything to stop it from being felt.

He tells himself she grew up alone, instead, without even the impersonal obligation of unit cohesion that he was raised on. Learning is easy. Unlearning is hard. He knows that. And it isn't enough to keep a certain hard edge from his tone, but he can push dealing with any frustration or guilt aside for later. She didn't know. She's used to being alone. Now she'll know, and she's not alone.

"We're in this together. We're a team." Finn's starting to feel like it's going to turn into a mantra at this rate. If they have to all find time to stare each other down and say it every day, get it to stick, he'll find the time. "That means we're never out of room for you. I don't care what else is happening next time. There's still room."

He's not sure if that gets across exactly what he's trying to go for? That's the drawback to operating on scrambled. What he knows for sure is that he doesn't leave his people behind, even if they size up a situation and think maybe they can afford to be left.

Rey's so much more important than that.

[volitaunt]

"What he said."

Poe leans over to kiss Rey's sweaty temple, before he lets his hand drop from her hair to her shoulder, from her shoulder to the edge of the bed. "Look, Rey...."

Thinking about who she is, where she came from--she's a survivor. Has a foundation built on a granite will to live. He can't help remembering what he said before--that she doesn't have to take care of him, that he's not her responsibility. He can't blame her for feeling and acting the same way.

"You and me--we're bad at this. We're bad at letting people help us. We're bad at listening when it comes to taking care of ourselves, we're bad at letting others take care of us. We're bad at it." He smiles a little. "Let's just both agree to work on that, all right? Letting people care. Letting people help. Or Finn will end up in the hospital next because he broke his neck trying to keep up with our disasters."

He gives her hand a little squeeze. "We are a team. And being a team takes practice."

[talentedscavenger]

We're a team.

Yes, yes they were. They would fight for one another. They wouldn't leave each other behind, but if push came to shove, Rey was prepared to be left behind. It had happened once, hadn't it? On Jakku. It wouldn't be her first time being on her own, but she would do it. She would place her needs last to make sure the two of the most important people in her life were okay. That they were safe and sound.

But one couldn't do that if they were sick, lying in bed in a hospital.

There was a slow nod of her head at Finn, his words tugging at her heart strings. We're never out of room for you. There would always be room. They wouldn't out grow each other--or at least she hoped that would be the case. Her attention drifted to Poe, shutting her eyes briefly feeling guilty for what she put them through.

There's a weak chuckle from her, opening her eyes a little, willing the water in her eyes not to fall. Yes, Poe and her...they were stubborn and bad at letting people help them.

"We're really bad at it..." But they needed to find a balance--or she did. Learning to protect without suffocating, without taking on so much responsibility.

"I can work on it...I don't think we need Finn to wind up here next.." There was some humor in her words, but also truth. Finn didn't need to be next on the list of people going to the hospital. She squeezed both of their hands.

"I will try...I will try my hardest to not put you two through again...I...I'm sorry."

[bythehand]

Getting Rey to laugh, even a bit, pretty much nixes any of Finn's token 'excuse you, sir, I can juggle disasters all day without ending up in the hospital' arguments before they start to form. Probably for the best, as those arguments would be patently false in the long-term. He maybe throws a little look between the two of them, though. Just on principle.

Frankly, he's all for this agreement.

Communication is a very basic teamwork foundation, and putting that aside, Finn just cares a lot about these two, and he would like very much if neither of them suffered alone instead of asking for help anymore. After all, if neither of them had helped him when he needed it, back in the right corner of the galaxy, he'd literally be dead or worse.

"It's fine. Already over it." And Rey is gonna be fine, which makes it genuinely about as fine as it can get. What matters now is what they choose to do next time.

[volitaunt]

"You don't need to be sorry." He returns her little hand-squeeze with one of his own. "You didn't get yourself thrown into a tree because you were being an idiot."

He can make light of it, now, or try to. For a second he has to catch his breath, but it's brief, barely noticeable. "All we want is for you to take care of yourself as well as you try to take care of us."