An aching in my head

[talentedscavenger]

who: Rey, Finn, Poe, Kyle Ren, and whoever else wants parts of the drama of the wars in our stars. open!
what: Rey gets sick and finds herself taken to the hospital.
when: 12/26--12/29
where: Hospital
warnings: None for now--will update as needed

For a few weeks Rey hadn't been getting enough sleep. It started off with wild dreams that made it difficult to get a night's rest. The dreams gave way to nightmares; sometimes she dreamed she was still on Jakku, waiting for her parents with hunger gnawing at her stomach only to fall into the belly of an abandon ship, break her wrists and die a painful death. Sometimes, she dreamed of Poe and Finn, of being unable to help them as the First Order crushed the Resistance. Sometimes, she relived the very vision that told her to take her first steps. Whatever the dreams were, she woke up with a start and unable to go back to sleep.

Not sleeping was something she was used to. If she wore herself out enough, she could pass out from exhaustion and have a dreamless sleep--something she would prefer at this point. Like anything else in her life, she didn't complain, only pushed herself through the situation thinking she could handle it. Then her world started to change. First it was the weather, changing from a crisp coolness to icy cold. It had silly of Rey to go out without the proper attire in the beginning, but she learned to bundle up, but it wasn't enough. Kylo Ren then appeared and Rey found herself stressed over that--trying to find a way to protect her friends from a man she didn't believe was truly a monster...

The stress of that, combined with worrying over Poe being in the hospital didn't do well to help get any sleep.

Over the past few days she had developed a slight cough, believing it was maybe the coldness in the air that her lungs weren't used to. She didn't think much of it, continuing to go about her duties within the Perimeter Guard and other obligations. If she just pushed through it, she would be okay. Rey failed to realize how bad she was getting. When she had gone to bed the night before, she opted to sleep on the couch, curled up with a blanket. At least she made progress from sleeping on the floor to the couch.

When Poe went to go wake her up, her skin appeared clammy with a faint redness to her cheeks. She wasn't responding no matter how loud he called her name, or nudged her. Finn touched her forehead and felt how hot she was, and before the trio knew it, they were at the hospital. The doctors and nurses were quick to put Rey in a bed, and administer fluids. Different questions were asked: if either of them had noticed a change in her behavior, if she was eating and if so what.

In the end, it was the decision of the doctors that Rey stay in the hospital until she was better. Years of malnutrition had made it harder for her body to stay warm, making her more susceptible to the cold, and a weakened immune system. The hospital staff would have to keep her on a diet to help her body absorb the proper nutrients and help combat the influenza she had.

By the time Rey wakes up from the ordeal, she feels weak and feels a pricking sensation in her right arm. Now it's time for her to recover...and she won't be too thrilled about it.

Best of luck whoever decides to check in on her, she probably won't be in the best of moods and may or may not try to get out of bed.

Comments

[talentedscavenger]

[Rey wasn't expecting any other visitors for the day, except maybe Finn and Poe. She didn't want either of them to wind up in the hospital (again). Nor did she want Finn to lose anymore sleep then he already has from Poe's visit to the hospital, and now her. She was upset with herself for not doing better--for not being better than she was.

A coat and mittens were the things she should've worn all the time. It was foolish to think she was stronger than the elements.

She's taken out of her reverie hearing someone running up to her door.]

Cisco?

[Did he run all the way here? By the way he's pale and trying to take in air, that's a yes. She wants to get out of bed to check on him, but she made a promise to stay in bed and to keep the blasted needle in her arm. He came to see her, to check up on her. He wants to take care of the hospital visit (and really, she didn't know how much it would cost, but she had the funds for it) and...he wants a hug.

His emotions seemed to be all over the place and she feels...so small then. Like she had disappointed him in a way by getting sick and making him worry.]

Sure...I can't move too much, but if you want to sit on the bed..

[And once he's within range, she's hugging him, no questions asked. Though, she is mindful of that needle, but...she feels horrible for making him worry.]

..I'm sorry. [She found herself whispering in a small voice.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco moves towards Rey as soon as she says 'sure', merely shaking his head when she warns him she can't move too much. He already knows that, and wouldn't let her try to move from the bed or even sit up much even if she wanted to. He is careful not to go anywhere near the IV that's hooked into her arm, and when he hugs her, it is very gently, as if he's worried she might break. He smooths his hand over her hair, repetitive and mindless. Cisco is trembling - not much, but enough that Rey will probably be able to feel it. ]

It's okay, Rey.

[ There would be time enough later, to talk about how important it was to take care of herself. But right now, the last thing Rey needs is to feel guilty, on top of everything else. And she sounds so uncharacteristically timid, apologizing like that. It would take a heart of stone not to forgive her at once, even if there were much more to be forgiven. And as far as Cisco's concerned, plenty of the guilt belongs to him, as well. It is like Poe said: they hadn't done a good enough job, looking out for her. Taking care of her. Rey had been hurting, privately, and Cisco hadn't known. That was on him.

He pulls away, but takes her up on the offer to sit on the bed. He perches at the edge of it, trying not to crowd her, but wanting to stay close. ]

How are you feeling?

[talentedscavenger]

[Cisco was one hell of an incredible person. He found her sitting outside by herself, as she tried to piece together her problems in a matter of minutes, and he talked to her. He offered her food and a job. They became fast friends. He invited her to his home and she....she made him worry about her.

He was worried about her to the point where he was trembling in her arms.

Tears start to prick at the corners of her eyes, making her blink rapidly to keep them at bay. She finds herself holding on tightly to him with her free arm and sniffling a little. She could blame that on her cold and not from holding back tears.]

...I'm sorry.

[The words leave her lips again in a hushed manner. It's all she feels she can do at this point.

When he starts to pull back, she lets him. She sits up a little more and draws her legs to her, trying to tuck her legs under her so he'd have more room to sit.]

I'm feeling...okay. [Ignore the glassiness in her eyes please.] A little annoyed with the needle in my arm, but...I'm feeling better. I've been sleeping more.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco can tell that Rey is fighting back tears, but he thinks that perhaps the nicest thing he can do right at that moment is pretend that he doesn't notice. He doesn't have any idea what she might be feeling right now - scared that she had made him angry or let him down, worried that he's going to be upset she can't make it to work, frightened that she is some kind of burden? Who knows. But none of it is true, so he just smiles at her, setting his hand on her knee, a reassuring weight.

Behind that smile, though, his heart aches more and more. Seeing the state of her is a bit of a shock. She's so pale, with smudges under her eyes from lack of sleep, looking clammy with fever. Cisco hates himself a little, for not anticipating this, for not doing more to make sure that she was alright. That day in the snow should have been a sign. Just giving her a pair of gloves hadn't been enough. He ought to have done more.

He clears his throat, still shaky, and says: ]

Oh, yeah, IVs are totally obnoxious. And- and I'm glad. Sleep deprivation's the worst.

[ He says that with a certain wryness, like he's speaking from experience. He reaches over to pick up a little canvas bag he'd dropped on the chair and starts fishing around in it, saying as he does: ]

I, um, brought you some stuff, 'cause I know it can get really boring in the hospital and they're probably gonna kick me out at some point when visiting hours end, so...

[ Cisco had only given himself about a minute to grab stuff as he'd made his way out the door, so it's hardly much of a goody bag, but he does have a few things. ]

... got ya, uh, a book, this is one I really loved when I was a kid. [ He sets a paperback copy of The Hobbit on the bed, near Rey's legs. ] Also, I know the food here's not super, so, if the doctor says it's okay... [ And he sets a ziploc with a few of Eddie's marbled fudge brownies on the little table by the bed. ] ...and, you know, so there's a bit of green. [ Carefully, he pulls out the last item - one of the dozens of tiny succulents that are dotted around his and Eddie's apartment. He sets it gently beside the brownies. ]

[talentedscavenger]

[Emotions were starting to run through her. It was touching that Cisco came over as quick as he had. Honestly, she wasn't expecting it. She was expecting maybe Finn or Poe, because they were from her world. It was so easy for Rey to simply remove herself from the picture, to be an outsider looking in. To think if anything happened to her that anyone outside her small circle would care. That's how it had been. Even when she cried alone at night, no one came to her rescue. No one came to comfort her.

Her mind had reverted back to that state. If she had never left Jakku, she's pretty sure no one would miss her. If she died on that sand ball, no one would've mourned her. Yet here, she's seeing the extent to which people cared about her.

Simply coming to visit was enough, but then Cisco, sweet and kind, and really a precious star among so many, was here and trying to make her feel better. He came bringing things from his childhood, food to eat (because hospital food was horrible), but what touched her the most was the small plant he placed on by the table. The tears she had been holding back started to fall, gliding down her face.

Was she really worthy of such attention or care?

Get it together.]

Thank you.

[It's all she can say, in such a soft voice that it's on the verge of cracking.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco's always been hopeless - any time someone he cares about starts crying, it's pretty much impossible for him not to follow suit. It's particularly true in this case, because he's never seen Rey cry before. It makes her look young, somehow. Some of that, he knows, is the hospital - with the fluorescent lights, the silly gown, all of that. So when she starts crying, Cisco's own eyes get very wet, and he leans forward once again to hug her. This time, however, he doesn't let go - just keeps holding her, until she tries to pull away.

His own voice has gone hoarse as he says: ]

I'm just- [ Cisco's voice cracks badly enough that he laughs, and has to start over. ] I'm just glad you're alright.

[ He lets out a shuddery sigh, trying not to think about what he would have done, if the text from Poe had been different, worse. Things are bad, now, but not beyond fixing. ]

If there's anything else you need the next couple days I can bring it to you, and I'll come visit as often as I can. I mean, you're gonna be sick of me, pretty soon.

[ Sniffling, he adds, with a hint of humor: ]

And you better believe after this I'm gonna be totally obnoxious, making sure you're eating enough and sleeping well and taking care of yourself.

[talentedscavenger]

[The hug is what she needed. To have someone to hold onto her, to show she means something to them. Not something that could be tossed aside or left behind. Rey finds herself hugging him as tightly as she possibly could. A few more tears fall from her face, staining her cheeks. She hasn't cried...in a while. She wasn't counting the Force vision, that left her feeling raw.

This was different. This was Rey learning that her friends, that Cisco cared this much. It's overwhelming for someone who has been on their own for so long...to know she mattered in some small way to him. She swallows the lump in her throat, trying to make herself sound normal and not like she was crying.

Rey tightens the hug for a moment, hearing that he wanted to make sure she was okay. He has...no idea how much those words mean to her.]

You can come as often as you like, and I'll...I'll throw a fit if they kick you out.

[She lets out a weak laugh then, trying to crack a joke even with more tears coming down her face, more than likely staining his shirt. It'll be a while before she lets go of him.]

I know how to take care of myself. I'm just not used to the weather changes.

[Lies. There was more to it than that, years of surviving on portion packets and going to bed hungry took a toll on her body.]

...Thank you, Cisco. You didn't have to...and I...

Thank you.

[And now she'll pull back, ducking her head a little to try to hide her tear stained cheeks.]

[franciscoramon]

Damn, those nurses better watch out.

[ Cisco can tell, of course, that Rey continues crying. There is no way for her to remove the sound of it entirely from her voice, and he can hear the hitched rhythm of her breathing, feel the occasional tear falling onto his shoulder. But he makes no comment on it - just holds her for as long as she wants to be held.

Because he might not have been through all the same things she has - scrabbling for survival, going hungry, fighting, enduring the elements - but Cisco does know what it's like to be starved for affection, both emotionally and physically. He can recognize it in her. So he waits, this time, for her to pull away, and only then follows suit. ]

Mhhmmm. Well, I'm keeping an eye out all the same. Just in case anything else comes along you're not used to, either. Better safe than sorry.

[ When she tells him that he didn't have to (come see her? care about her? she doesn't specify, but he gets the idea), Cisco just smiles faintly. Of course he hadn't been obligated to visit her, to worry over her. But he had, and does, and there's no point in hiding it. ]

Of course, Rey.

[ And then he reaches over, picking up the paperback copy of The Hobbit and flipping forward to the first page, saying as he does. ]

You know, when I was sick as a kid, I'd always wish that my mom or dad were around to read to me, like the grandpa in The Princess Bride does. So, uh, how 'bout we give chapter one of this bad boy a spin, and you can rest a little bit? I'll even do the voices.

[ He doesn't want to leave, after all, but Rey looks wan and like she could use a bit of rest. This way, hopefully, she won't feel like she needs to entertain him, or stay awake, or thank him any more just for caring about her. Cisco clears his throat dramatically, and then starts to read aloud. ]