[ we'll drive our ships to new lands ]

[dothelokimotion]

who: Loki + CR
what: canon update stuff + various catchups
when: Late November + Early December
where: Around
warnings: There will definitely be Thor Ragnarok spoilers. Possible violence. Will edit when necessary.


[ THOR AND LOKI ]

[ Honestly, Loki is still surprised they're going through with this. He knows he keeps questioning it, but some things are hard to believe, even now. Granted, having a secret older sister has put a lot of his life into a starker context. Loki isn't sure if he's grateful to that. He wishes he could ask Odin . . . or Frigga.

But since he has essentially killed them all, it is better not to let such questions linger. Idly, Loki turns the daggers in his hands, dressed in the outfit he wore into battle on Asgard. This could be a good way for Thor to let loose when it comes to his new powers and release some steam. And maybe Loki is in need of that too, even if he's fine. ]

[ THE MCU ASGARDIANS ]

[ Thor didn't have to mention it. But on the outskirts, far away from Riverview, there is a boat. The insides are strewn with flowers, their sweet scent mingling with the air. There were no weapons or garments to burn, so Loki made do. As for Loki, he sits a distance away, a bow and arrow laid upon his lap. He doesn't approach anyone, not entirely sure he even wants to be present for this gesture. Loki has never forgiven Asgard for not letting him see Frigga's send off and likely, he never will.

But it was not for him. He keeps his eyes down, sharpening the point. ]

[ LOKI AND STEVE ]

[ It was not hard to notice both Steve and Loki were a little on edge due to recent events. And while this would never be Loki's favoured sport, he understands the need to vent and fight. Thor certainly needs to. And so does Steve. Again, another point of similarity Loki tries not to look too deeply at. Either way, Loki takes time to locate them a nice empty gym space and two large sticks for sparring. He's not familiar with what mortals use, but the gym should have enough amenities. For this, he dresses in a simple sleeveless black top and slacks. ]

I will not go easy on you.

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki's expression crumbles as he leans into Steve's touch. ]

Perhaps . . . later, again.

[livingsymbol]

Later. When you feel more up to it.

[ He doesn't want Loki to push himself into discomfort because of him. No one should do that. Steve is a unique case and he doesn't need to be taking advantage of people, especially not those he cares about. He smiles, relaxing as he lies under Loki. ]

You feeling okay now? You weren't worried about the blood, were you? I'm fine.

[dothelokimotion]

No. It was merely — You looked angry and I stumbled. I thought I had pushed it too far.

[ He's not sure who he is trying to be. Still the God of Mischief? Someone reformed? Someone new? What would be better, what would be necessary?

( what would be needed? ) ]

[livingsymbol]

Oh. [ Well, he's used to people being unnerved by Captain America. It probably is hard for someone used to being on the wrong side of the Avengers to face him down even when they're not being serious. Steve nods. ]

Sorry, I wasn't trying to scare you. Maybe now isn't a great time for rough play.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki whimpers as he lies down on Steve. ]

This was supposed to be for you.

[livingsymbol]

We can exercise together without fighting.

[ Steve drapes his arm over Loki's back. ]

I appreciate the thought, but you don't need to push yourself this hard. There are still plenty of things we can do together.

[dothelokimotion]

I don't understand what happened.

[ He's fought before. Reveled in the joys of battle. He was not Thor, but he has some traces of battle-lust in him. The need for a good fight. Had Asgard's destruction and the truth changed him so utterly that he simply does not know who he is anymore? ]

[livingsymbol]

Well, you've been going through a pretty rough spell. I'd say it probably caught up to you.

[ Steve stays where he is, stroking Loki's back and lying on the mat like this were any other weekend visit to the gym. ]

It's all right to take a break. You don't have to keep pushing yourself, especially not for me. I'm still gonna be here even if you don't want to spar.

We can find new things to do.

[dothelokimotion]

[ The muscles on Loki's back slowly unwind, piece by piece as if he's been highly strung for some time, despite how casual and relaxed he's been acting. And most of it, so much of it had been an act. Somewhere, there was a ship full of Asgardians drifting out in space. He finds his mind drifting back to it constantly, like a heavy sensation. ]

I think I am afraid again. And I am not. I feel there is so much now riding on me, people who depend on me that never did before.

And I do not know what I'm doing. I am not good, Steve. I do not know how to be. And perhaps, that was always in me.

[livingsymbol]

Or maybe your capacity for good was always in you. You're just not used to looking for it.

[ He keeps his arms lying over Loki, looking past him to the ceiling. ]

It's all right to be afraid. Or intimidated by something new. We all feel like that sometimes. Things turn around and sometimes we don't feel ready for whatever comes next. You're not the first person to not have the answers, but that doesn't mean what you're doing is wrong.

You do your best. That's as much as anyone can ask. And I know that your best is amazing. I don't know what will happen, but I don't think that anyone is wrong to depend on you. You just... need to trust yourself.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki has never trusted himself. He's never been able to trust he can do what's right. Somewhere, deep inside him, is the urge to lash out, to hurt, to give back the pain he feels. But those urges are slowly fading away. They feel almost non-existent, belonging to someone else. He is Loki now and maybe Loki is just someone Steve trusts and believes, someone Thor needs, someone more.

Gingerly, Loki climbs off Steve and gives him a hand. ]

Another round. I owe you a beating.

[ He's not going to cower at shadows anymore. If his best means something to Steve, Loki will keep trying. ]

[livingsymbol]

[ Everyone Steve knows has some capacity to hurt. It was a lesson he learned early: people are cruel. Children, friends, everyone around him could do things to damage those weaker than them. But he also sees their potential for good, and that good is a choice. One he thinks Loki has proven he's making, as hard as it might be. So he keeps his faith in him. When he takes Loki's hand and stands again, he laughs softly. ]

You don't have to. I told you, we can do plenty together. I like spending time with you no matter what it is we do.

[dothelokimotion]

Steve.

[ His voice is gentle but firm as he curls his fingers around Steve's hand. ]

I never do things because I have to. I do things because I want to. With you. Make no mistake. I was enjoying myself as much as you.

[ He bends slightly to kiss Steve's knuckles before smiling sharply. ]

Round two?

[livingsymbol]

[Loki takes his hand and Steve looks up to meet his eyes. The hesitation fades as he feels the brush of lips on the back of his hand and sees Loki smile. Before where there was fear Steve finds confidence in the god and that's reassuring.]

If that's what you really want.

[Despite himself, Steve can't suppress the purr in his answer.]

If you'd rather watch a movie, tell me now.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki's grin turns rakish. ]

I can give it as good as you've got.

[livingsymbol]

[ Steve hesitates for a moment more, giving Loki one last, questioning look before deciding that the god must be comfortable enough at least to humor him without hurting himself. As much as he likes a challenge, he doesn't want to push at the expense of his lover's comfort. He decides to start slower this time, giving Loki plenty of warning when he moves forward to tackle him again. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki wasn't joking. He has been known to waver, but his desires are always concrete; not prone to wishy-washiness. He has a single-minded head when it comes to pursuing what he enjoys and he does not undertake it lightly. Loki is still a little annoyed at himself, for fearing, for stepping back. He's done with that.

He side-steps, ducking low to throw Steve's weight against him and toppling him over Loki. ]

[livingsymbol]

[Steve goes rolling over Loki's head, hitting the floor with a hard impact that gets a grunt out of him. He keeps rolling, using the momentum to get away from the god and get back to facing the right direction. As he climbs to his feet, Steve focuses on his target and gives Loki a smirk right before diving at him, trying to tackle him with a pounce and knock him back down to the ground.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Why is it always tackling? Shame that magic would be cheating, otherwise Loki could easily slip in a double and move around the back. Sadly, he must improvise. Close quarters fighting has never been his strength. Instead he tries to grab Steve's hands in a lock, hoping to overpower him backwards. ]

[livingsymbol]

[ Steve almost seems to expect Loki to vanish, because he looks genuinely surprised when the god instead grabs him and tries to hold him. He seems to hesitate a moment, deciding how much force he wants to exert, but he goes down on his knees, breathing heavily and, for the moment, submitting to Loki's hold. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ A grin flashes on his face as Loki's leg lashes out to knock Steve's knees down and force him completely down with Loki on top of him. ]

[livingsymbol]

[ Steve goes down, but as Loki pushes on top of him, he turns and bucks the weight to one side, trying to roll them so he can pin Loki down instead. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki emits a sharp bark of laughter as he is rolled over, trying to aim a punch at Steve's shoulder. ]

[livingsymbol]

[The punch lands with Steve growling at Loki as he shoves him with both hands, meeting the force of the blow instead of trying to dodge. That only makes the impact worse, but he seems to soak it up, gritting his teeth and forcing himself to bear the pain of it so he can keep holding Loki under him.]

You'll have to try harder than that.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki squirms with a smirk. ]

How much harder should I try?