( open ) is this the place we used to love

[winscenario]

who: Jim Kirk & YOU!
what: yet another memory share post to add to the pile (sorry guys)
when: 9th - 23rd
where: wherever you like
warnings: death (his own and other people), possibly some violence. nothing too terribly intense or graphic. will update if need be!


I ▹ DREAMSCAPE

[ It's warm. It's too warm, even, the sun shining down on your head, making sweat form rapidly across skin. There's very little that offers shade too— everything is a vast wide open field, dried foliage and nothingness all around. There's an old and neglected barn not too far off, a tree well in the distance, and a beaten path that doesn't seem like it's used too often.

You'll recognize Jim, standing just to the side, eyes on that road. A car is coming in at some speed, gradually closer as it approaches the barn.

He's not really expecting company, not here of all places. What is there to see, anyway, in the middle of nowhere, Iowa? Hands in his pockets, he looks a little resigned, a little wistful, trying very hard for it not to come off as nostalgic as he turns around to greet whoever's just walked into his dream. ]

This isn't going to be terribly exciting, I'm afraid.

II ▹ VISION

[ The first few visions aren't clear or telling at all, but they are intense, loud, explosive. Sounds of people yelling, gunfire, the heat of minor explosions, the pain of broken glass piercing skin. You could swear you can feel your heart beat rapidly in your chest, a sense of panic and dread, then a deep, piercing grief you can't quite pinpoint or explain.

Eventually, the memory reveals itself completely. It starts with an attack, evidently a set-up, which comes to explain most of the feelings, the sense of fear, the rush of adrenaline. The grief, however, is only explained later, when you experience the rest of the memory. You don't know the dying man, but for a moment, it feels like you do. It feels like you love him greatly, and the loss comes with a strange sense of regret for things left unsaid. ]

III ▹ VISION

[ This particular memory starts revealing itself with an unusual physical manifestation: pain. Or the memory of it, anyway. Wherever you are, there's a sudden, intense ache, there and gone in a moment, though it leaves your heart racing, your breath coming a little short. Panic comes soon after, and without knowing how to explain it, you find yourself terrified. Before you experience the memory in its entirety, you suddenly are sure of one thing: you're going to die.

But it's not until you experience the whole memory that you understand, that those sensations are explained, as well as the glimpses of the Vulcan whom you don't think you know, so much as feel you recognize. This memory is intense for a whole other set of reasons. It's quiet for the most part, but your heart beats too loudly, your breath comes out too ragged. You feel at a loss, cold, and completely alone. And it's terrifying to the last second, until your sight blurs and dissolves into pitch black. ]

IV ▹ DREAMSCAPE

[ You come to on a ship. It looks a little worn and like it shouldn't be able to withstand flight, and yet here it is, going at an impressive speed across space. Scarier than that, though, is what can be seen on the view screen: thousands and thousands of small vessels, working in perfect coordination, taking a shape of sorts as they seemingly prepare to attack.

Among the very small crew on the bridge, there's a perfect reflection of Jim sitting in the captain's chair, fingers curling tight into the armrest. They all seem completely unaware of both your presence, and the only one who makes a note of you being there is the other Jim, in casual clothes and hair a little longer, glancing between you and the scene as he takes a moment to piece together what's happening here. ]

The swarm ships are doubling back, they are forming an attack wave, sir. [ Chekov warns the captain, to which he answers promptly, like the commands were keyed in already, just waiting for the right time. ]

We've got their attention. [ More of a murmur than anything, then— ] Hold steady, Mr. Sulu. Brace yourselves, everybody. Spock, stand by to drop out of formation. Scotty, you all cued up back there?

[ Scotty, bent over a console, nods. ] Aye, sir!

[ The Jim standing next to you smiles a little, raising his eyebrows and tipping his head. ] We should listen to my advice. This ride's about to get bumpy.

[ ooc: if you'd like any other specific memories from any of the movies, feel free to let me know and I can write a starter for you! ]

Comments

[dancingmd]

It hits her, as these memories are wont to do, at exactly the wrong moment, when she's in the middle of talking to a patient. Even though she's had more than enough experience sharing another's mind by now, what she had with Jean-Luc was not nearly as intense and overwhelming as this. They were careful with one another, delicate almost. This is a storm of emotion threatening to drown her.

She stumbles back, gasping, her nurse rushing to her side with concern. Though everyone at the hospital knows of these memory-sharing occurrences by now, and know it's nothing permanent, they send her home for the day anyway. As soon as she's back at her apartment and calmed down somewhat, she picks up her phone to call.

"Jim? Jim, it's Beverly... I think... I think we need to talk. I just saw one of you memories." Or rather, his memory of Spock's memories. The supernova. It can't... not after all the work Spock has put into reunifying Vulcan and Romulus.

[winscenario]

Of all the people to see and experience his memories, Beverly's part of a small list that doesn't actually bother Jim much. He trusts her, and he knows that she'll understand even the toughest moments he's been through. Maybe that's in part due to her coming from a universe practically identical to his own, but either way, he doesn't question it.

But when she calls her, he can't help being a little worried. She's evidently upset, and if she's calling him specifically to talk about it, then he has to guess it can't have been an easy memory. "Alright," he clears his throat into the phone, pausing for a second or two. "Uh... I'm home right now. Can you come by, or would you rather I meet you elsewhere?"

[dancingmd]

"No, no... I think it's better to discuss this in private."

She pauses, considering another factor. "Or if Leonard's there too, I imagine that will be all right. I can't imagine it's anything he doesn't know about already." It would be impossible, in fact, for him not to know about Vulcan, or of Romulus before it. "I can be over there in a few minutes."

[winscenario]

"He's not right now, actually. But sure, I'll be waiting."

Well, Bones does know about Vulcan and Romulus, of course, but the mind meld is another matter entirely. Jim hasn't really told anyone about that, or about how much it affected him, and for how long. Not that it really matters one way or the other, it'd just be weird to tell Bones now, after nearly six years have passed.

Ending the call, he waits around for Beverly to get there, mentally listing all the memories she might want to talk about.

[dancingmd]

He won't have to wait long before he hears a knock on the front door. Beverly smiles apologetically when he answers. "Thanks for seeing me on such short notice."

[winscenario]

He dismisses her apologetic look with a shake of his head and a wave of his hand. He'll always welcome Beverly's visits, regardless of her wanting to speak of a more serious topic or not.

"Don't mention it. Come on right in— and feel free to shoo her away if she bothers you," he gestures vaguely towards Petunia the chicken, prancing around the living room and the outside. "Want anything to drink?"

[dancingmd]

As serious as her questions are she is momentarily distracted by Petunia's presence. Blinking, she stares at the chicken. "No... no I don't need anything....but when did you two get a chicken? And maybe a better question: why do you have a chicken?"

[winscenario]

"Oh," he glances at the chicken, shrugging with a chuckle. "We adopted her from a friend of ours, she lives in an apartment and didn't have enough room for her. Besides, she's cute."

As if to show this, he leans down closer to the floor, holding a hand out. "C'mere! Come on, girl!" The chicken promptly trots over so Jim can pet her along the back. "Good bird," he coos a little, grinning at Beverly. "Bones hadn't told you about Petunia yet?"

[dancingmd]

Beverly bites her lower lip to keep from laughing. There's something so delightfully absurd - and adorable - about this. Not that she can really talk, given how taken she is with a certain space jellyfish.

"He has not!" She squats down next to Petunia and gently strokes her abundantly fluffy feathers. "Nice to meet you Petunia!"

[winscenario]

Don't laugh at their pet chicken, Beverly, she's cute! Plus they have a garden, and she spends most of her time out there in the open. Doesn't make her any less of a house pet though, apparently, as she evidently loves petting and has her own pillow on the floor next to the living room windows.

"Yes, well... there you have it, we're the proud parents of a fluffy chicken," he says with an amused lilt to his tone. Petunia puffs up her chest, preening her feathers at Beverly's attention. "Anyway, what did you want to talk about?"

[dancingmd]

Ah. Reluctantly, she stops petting Petunia to stand back up. "It's about Spock." She pauses. "The Spock from my universe I mean."

[winscenario]

"I see," Jim nods, smile fading somewhat quickly. He moves to the couch and takes a seat, gesturing for Beverly to join him. "Ambassador Spock. Which memory did you see?"

He didn't have a whole lot of memories with him, admittedly, so he has a fairly good notion of what Beverly might've seen.

[dancingmd]

She takes a seat gingerly, keeping her hands in her lap. "I saw your mind-meld with him. The destruction of Romulus, his ship getting caught in the black hole, and..." And the loss of Vulcan, though she can't quite bring herself to say it.

[winscenario]

"I... see," he nods, looking down. It's not the information shared through the mind meld that bothers him so much as the mind meld itself, but for now he focuses on the former. "I can't remember if I'd ever told you, but we come from a diverging timeline. Did... Leonard ever tell you that?"

She works with him, probably sees him almost every day. He wouldn't be surprised if he'd told Beverly about it already.

[dancingmd]

"He did, when we first met actually. But he... Didn't want me to ask you too many questions about it, so I didn't." She smiles, but there's no real humor in it. "Besides I was trying to obey the rules a bit better back then. But today - I couldn't not tell you that I'd seen something so intimate."

[winscenario]

"Oh," he chuckles, shaking his head. It's such a Bones thing to worry about that, really. "It's fine, you can ask me about it. I don't mind at all. I just..." He trails off, sighing. "It's the mind meld. Bones doesn't know about that. No one does, actually, and I don't want them to. So, that... that, I would ask that you keep to yourself."

[dancingmd]

"I understand. I mean I've never experienced a Vulcan mind meld but... I did tell you about the implants didn't I?" She thinks she remembers doing so, back when she had still been worrying so intensely about Jean-Luc's safety and why he hadn't come with her.

[winscenario]

"I can't tell you if all mind melds are supposed to go like that." Jim hadn't even known at the time what was happening, frankly. He's fairly sure, though, that with proper warning and preparation, it's not meant to mess with someone's head as badly as it had him. He nods at her question. "Yes, you told me when you arrived. About your mental link with your Captain."

[dancingmd]

"It's one thing when you're expecting it, but when it's thrust upon you..." She shakes her head. "I know how intensely violating it can be." And at least there, if nothing else, Jean-Luc was already someone she knew and trusted, and he trusted her too. Kirk didn't have those benefits, in dealing with what happened to him. She has to wonder at the wisdom of Spock doing what he did.

[winscenario]

"Right," he hums, nodding. "I didn't even know what a mind meld was, back then. I didn't exactly know a lot about Vulcans." He doesn't sound like he's too terribly upset over it, though, because he knows how desperate Spock was, he understands now the urgency of the situation at the time. There hadn't been a lot of time to explain things, and the Ambassador had to find other means to show Jim who he was and how he got there.

[dancingmd]

"Really?" Her eyebrows go up in mild surprise. "I guess things change quite a bit in my time."

[winscenario]

"Ah," Jim nods, smiling a bit awkwardly. "Yes, I've heard that I'm supposedly... much closer to my first officer, in this other reality. I believe the exact words were, my preference was more of the pointy-eared variety." Whatever that means, Jim never really bothered to ask about details. Too weird.

[dancingmd]

She shakes her head. "No, I didn't mean the two of you personally - though it's true, from what I've heard, that the two of you were close friends. I just meant... well, even aside from my medical studies, I knew many Vulcans at the academy and while there are definitely certain... aspects of their physiology and culture that they don't readily share with others, I've never found them to be much of a mystery for us either."

[winscenario]

"Well, I'm sure a lot of people knew a lot more about Vulcans than I did, back then. But I was straight out of some old farm in the middle of nowhere. Didn't get a lot of Vulcans around there, even around the Starfleet shipyard. Hell, not a lot of Vulcans at the Academy either, so while I did learn a few things while I was studying, there was still a lot I didn't know."

[dancingmd]

How interesting. What was it that changed, that brought more Vulcans to the Academy? After all, while the time between her and Jim is over a Human generation, it's not so long in Vulcan years.

Of course, she has to remind herself, there's a whole universe between them still.

"If I recall correctly, there used to be a great stigma against using the mind meld. Vulcans who used it, even consensually, were outcast. So I suppose it wasn't something they were ready for other species to know about yet - Vulcans have a much longer memory than us, after all."