Once the blanket is spread, Caitlin follows suit, slipping her shoes off and settling cross-legged on the blanket across from him. The sentiment makes sense and Caitlin gives him a sympathetic smile and nods. "I get that. I do that, too. I mean, I've been trying to. ...not think, that is," she explains. She has her own reasons for not wanting to have too much time to think. Every time she gives herself time to do that, she starts to feel bad and, if she lets herself do it long enough, she'll become consumed with guilt and then she's no good to anyone, least of all herself.
But she's happy to move off that subject when Eddie offers an out. "Oh, I don't know. All right, I suppose," she says with a small smile that falls a little bit short of her eyes, opening her meal but not necessarily digging right into it just yet. "...I really like it here," she admits, looking sheepish as she says it. The huge difference between the two of them is that she could go back home, eventually, and Eddie never can. His death isn't avoidable; they can't just go back in time and change it. He has to die. So while she knows that he understands where her feeling is coming from, he hasn't the luxury of feeling the same way. It always makes her feel a bit bad about bringing it up, but he did ask...and she'd be lying if she didn't at least make passing mention of the guilt she feels for enjoying herself.
"It's just...well," she says and stops abruptly, frowning slightly and shaking her head a little as if to tell herself to leave it; it's not important. This isn't the sort of thing she'd typically talk about anyway, but if she were the type to commiserate about heartbreak, it'd probably be with a female friend. Except, she hasn't really made any female friends here. ...or any friends, honestly, except Eddie. Which, she supposes, suggests that she ought to get out more, but that's entirely another issue for another day.
"There was a man here that I thought I might have...sort of be seeing. But he's gone back, now." So that's a little upsetting, but maybe it was all in her head anyway and they were just friends. Maybe if she tells herself that vehemently and often enough, she'll start to believe it and it won't be so upsetting. Caitlin's going to . "Anyway," she says, waving a dismissive hand and shaking her head. "What do you make of all this?" she asks, gesturing vaguely, indicating the picnic and the festival itself.
no subject
But she's happy to move off that subject when Eddie offers an out. "Oh, I don't know. All right, I suppose," she says with a small smile that falls a little bit short of her eyes, opening her meal but not necessarily digging right into it just yet. "...I really like it here," she admits, looking sheepish as she says it. The huge difference between the two of them is that she could go back home, eventually, and Eddie never can. His death isn't avoidable; they can't just go back in time and change it. He has to die. So while she knows that he understands where her feeling is coming from, he hasn't the luxury of feeling the same way. It always makes her feel a bit bad about bringing it up, but he did ask...and she'd be lying if she didn't at least make passing mention of the guilt she feels for enjoying herself.
"It's just...well," she says and stops abruptly, frowning slightly and shaking her head a little as if to tell herself to leave it; it's not important. This isn't the sort of thing she'd typically talk about anyway, but if she were the type to commiserate about heartbreak, it'd probably be with a female friend. Except, she hasn't really made any female friends here. ...or any friends, honestly, except Eddie. Which, she supposes, suggests that she ought to get out more, but that's entirely another issue for another day.
"There was a man here that I thought I might have...sort of be seeing. But he's gone back, now." So that's a little upsetting, but maybe it was all in her head anyway and they were just friends. Maybe if she tells herself that vehemently and often enough, she'll start to believe it and it won't be so upsetting. Caitlin's going to . "Anyway," she says, waving a dismissive hand and shaking her head. "What do you make of all this?" she asks, gesturing vaguely, indicating the picnic and the festival itself.