[closed] Mistake still burning but I'm learning like a raptor

[chumpelstiltskin]

who: Dave and John
what: Big boys need a big house, moving out of the communal rooms and into their own place.
when: During the Amnesia event, entirely unrelated to it.
where: In a nice little house somewhere.
warnings: Cussing.

Despite the fact that Dave has lived independently for almost the majority of his life, there's something novel about the experience of claiming a house and moving into it. It's very adult, it's very.. well, normal. Needless to say, no living situation Dave has ever been in has ever been quite so normal, which is interesting considering the fact that he's living in a moon quarantine with the guy he went on an emotionally devastating space adventure with.

Surprisingly, even though he's only been here about a month, Dave has amassed quite a bit of stuff. Nothing big and bulky, luckily, but a lot of clothing, trinkets and technology. He has access to money and modern shopping outlets, he's a dangerous man.

He's claimed a room by dumping his stuff in it, and he's sorted out at least somethings that can be in communal areas. Mostly the ugly things.

It's been a pretty long day, his mind is wiped from the business of moving and the kitchen is obviously empty since they just moved in and Dave has no earthly idea how to cook anyway. He's leaning back on a counter, deciding they definitely need a coffee machine here and coming to terms with the fact that he's fucking hungry.

"Hey, Space-Italian or Space-Chinese?" He says, like John should instantly know what he's talking about.

Comments

[heirlift]

"Those both sound vaguely racist," John shoots back, almost immediately. He's still finding the right places for his meager belongings, but he's having a lot of trouble doing it.

He'd always just kept putting things in the same place his dad put them, but now without any kind of guidance, he's left to his own devices. He's not very good at this, it turns out, evident by the fact that he keeps moving shit around unnecessarily.

The thought of living with Dave is weird, but not as weird as having some kid for a roommate. Ciel was nice, but it was still awkward. John makes a note to at least drop in from time to time. Having Dave for a roommate? Still weird, but a more normal kind of weird. The 'meeting your internet best friend for the first time' kind of weird. Maybe this would have been an inevitability, if not for Sburb. Maybe they would have gone to the same school, been roommates at the dorms, had normal lives...

So far, this place has been as close to normal as John thinks he's ever going to get, which is saying something. But he's ready to embrace it. All the same, he doesn't really parse Dave's question.

"What about them though?"

[chumpelstiltskin]

"Kind of hard to get the authentic taste when there's a handful of us from Earth and a buttload of us from Mars or Asgard of wherever." Dave shrugs, flipping through his phone to explore his options. It's already this normal, comfy domestic setting where he orders food and doesn't need to create it out of grist of whatever the hell he was doing.

"Well, unless you want to eat furniture or starve, I thought we might look into getting some food into this place." Dave raises a brow at John. "Unless you're not hungry, which I'm skeptical about."

[heirlift]

"Dave, technically I don't think we need to eat anymore? It's not like we can die from starvation..."

That doesn't stop him from being hungry though. Whether that's a limitation of the whole godtier thing, or just a leftover relic of his mortality that he refuses to let go of, he's still not entirely sure, nor does he think it really matters. All he knows is that at the mention of food, his stomach grumbles right on cue, and she shrugs.

"What about pizza? It's hard to go wrong with pizza, and I think that's traditional, for when you just moved in."

[chumpelstiltskin]

"Really? I mean, I know we have conditional immortality but I've never been ballsy enough to try it. Intentionally. Forgetting to eat for a week? Normal."

Although forgetting is just a product of severe laziness and horrible priorities. When he thinks about food, however, he gets hungry too. Especially when Pizza is up for discussion. It just never gets old.

"Sure. But I think we're meant to eat it on the floor around boxes but we fucked up getting a place with furniture and having two and a half boxes of earthly possessions." He slinks out of the kitchen and flops onto the couch anyway, flipping through menu options. "Any preferences, Egbert?"

[heirlift]

"Uh... yeah. I think if mortal people don't eat for a week, they die. I might be wrong?"

He tries to remember how they all ate during Sburb, or did it just never come up because they godtiered before they ran out of food in their houses, or what... yech. What a pain to think about.

Instead, John considers pizza toppings. A much nicer thing to think about. His eyes go wide, and he looks over in Dave's direction.

"Oh my god. I can't believe I've known you think long and I never thought to ask... pineapple on pizza. Yes, or no?"

[chumpelstiltskin]

"I guess it's one of those things I'm too afraid to ask."

Mostly because he doesn't know any mortal people who didn't eat for a week and still lived to talk about it casually.

"It's a yes from me, Egbert." He pats the couch cushion next to him, inviting him to look at the options with him. "What about you? Are we gonna have problems, here?"

[heirlift]

"Dave, how could you? I thought I knew you?" Dramatically, John puts his hands over his face and groans. Mostly he's just playing, though; he has no strong opinions on pineapple-on-pizza. Maybe not his favorite, but not really the end of the world. There were worse things out there to eat, and there's something to be said for the sweet-and-salty combination. "Next you're going to tell me you like anchovies and brussel sprouts."

Ew. Now he's grossing himself out.

"What do you think about pepperoni? Oh, and ask if they use peanut oil."

[chumpelstiltskin]

"Please. The day I like a vegetable is the day I've been replaced by the robot master race." You don't really create a refined palate eating ramen, TV dinners and horsemeat.

"It's not really pizza if it doesn't have pepperoni- and fine. But do allergies kill you if you're immortal? Is peanut murder a just or heroic death?" He's asking the hard hitting questions but also wondering how they made it through this friendship so long without ever having struggled through the ordeal of ordering pizza together.

[heirlift]

"I mean, probably not? But it would still suck."

Not that there was anywhere to order pizza from. Unless the chess guys made pizza. Did they even eat? Oh god, John's already forgetting all the most important facts... no, wait. He never actually found out if they needed to eat to live or not.

"If I get sick, you're going to have to be the one to take care of me. I don't make the rules, it's in the lease."

[chumpelstiltskin]

"Makes me wonder if you're stronger than peanuts now, is all I'm saying. But then, Superman has Kryptonite so who's to say that Wonderwoman isn't crippled by dairy like the Heir of Breath is crippled by peanuts."

He let's that sink in, and in turn absorbs John's threat. He probably wouldn't protest too much, really, but pretending he would is his shtick.

"Best hope you don't collapse, because even my manly and strapping physic might struggle to get you down the stairs. Unless I taboggoned you down." Tangent. Stop. "Anyway, we won't gamble with death tonight. Let's give this place a week of being something other than a filthy murderhouse."

He selects some options, probably more than they need, and writes a lengthy request about not "maybe killing" his friend with peanuts.

[heirlift]

"Yeah. Sounds like a plan. Besides, you'd probably miss me too much." Hah. As if. But it's sort of fun to just be able to joke around and kick it with his best friend. They didn't actually do too much of this after Sburb. Not as much as he would have liked.

Now they're going to be hanging out twenty-four-seven, basically.

"So what do we do while we wait? Make up a chore wheel? Draw lines in the fridge for whose side is which?

[chumpelstiltskin]

"I might not miss you if you use my side of the fridge and don't take your randomly assigned chores as seriously as I will."

Which makes him consider something he's never really considered before. Mostly because living with Jade and Karkat, things magically seemed to get done without Dave's input. Plus they were always cranky at him for no reason. So weird.

"What kind of chores are we talking about here? Have we not advanced beyond roombas to robots that do laundry and take the trash out?"

[heirlift]

"I don't think so, but with how much we're paying for this place, we probably should. I don't know if I want to enable the robot uprising though."

John idly starts shuffling through a nearby box of his things. He eventually finds a pen, and a half-used piece of paper, and flattens it out on their brand new rented coffee table. He starts drawing a grid and then writing a list of chores down one side.

"Dishes. Trash. Sweeping. Dinner? Maybe I should take that one."

[chumpelstiltskin]

Dave tries to hide his horror at the thought of being accountable for his mess, but he's gradually accepting this as a reality.

"Sure. If you have something against homemade instant noodles every night until we die." Surely that's what everyone wants.

"I didn't know you could cook. And I guess. I don't know, I can probably sweep. I'm used to taking the trash out but only in am 80s fight movie sense."

[heirlift]

"I don't think I really can cook? Not like, anything fancy. But I can cook more than cup noodles and ravioli from a can, so..."

Yeah. He's got that going for him. He can cook a protein to the point where it's edible, and make spaghetti, which isn't a whole lot better, but... he'll figure it out as he goes. If he has to take cooking classes to sustain the both of them, then he'll do it. He'll take one for the team.

"I'm pretty sure you can handle both of those. ...what about laundry? Do we need to worry about laundry? I'd kind of like to wear regular clothes every once in a while."

It's been godtier pajamas for long that he'd kind of like to just feel normal for a while and wear a pair of jeans that actually get dirty the longer he wears them.

[chumpelstiltskin]

"Not gonna lie, I'm regretting pizza because I am deeply looking forward to a hot, homecooked Egbert style meal. Do you have a Kiss the Cook apron? Do you need one?"

He's joking, but there's an element of sincerity in it. He's never really had real, homecooked meals considering they never really needed to eat. Sometimes someone would make cake or cookies but nobody ever made something wholesome and filling. He's looking forward to it.

"I think we need to worry about laundry, yeah. Like, I kind of got used to wearing pajamas all the time and it being normal and all but I can't help but notice that nobody else around here rocks up to work in silky, baggy monstrosities."

[heirlift]

"Yeah, you're right."

John pointedly ignores the apron commentary, but he can't even argue when it comes to the laundry issue. More than once, he's been made to feel... a little awkward, and a little childish, more than once. He looks down at aforementioned monstrosities and makes a face. He's starting to sort of resent them, now that other options are more readily available. Sure, he could have gotten a new wardrobe back on Earth C, but it wasn't quite as convenient to him. That's what he got for putting his house out in the middle of nowhere.

"Well. I don't know, before we can do laundry, we need to have clothes, don't we? I think we might be overdue for a shopping montage."

[chumpelstiltskin]

"Maybe if we keep buying new clothes forever, we'll never have to do laundry."

There's just the tiniest amount of hope that, for some reason, John will think that's an awesome and perfectly reasonable idea. He finds himself legitimately excited at the concept of going shopping with John, which is starting to make him feel like this whole experience has been like going on an extremely immersive vacation.

Kind of sad he feels like he needs a vacation from home, but maybe he'll go back with a fresh mind. If he goes back.

He's lucky the doorbell rings at an opportune moment and he touches his nose, turning to John so he can easily see that. "Dibs not."

end this one here?

[heirlift]

The thought of buying new clothes forever seems... weird but actually not that impossible? How many clothes would he ever go through in a year? He's already thinking of the logistics when the doorbell rings, and he looks over to Dave, who has already called dibs on not getting off his lazy butt. John just laughs and shakes his head disbelievingly at Dave. It's not like he practically teleport or anything like that, no, he has to make John get up. Meanwhile, John just kind of floats his way over to the door.

"Alright, but you're getting it next time!"