[ Cisco is too overwhelmed to speak at first; he lets go of his hold on Eddie, but only so that he can move to the side of his bed and tug Eddie along right after him, so that Eddie is beside him, not just perched along the edge of his bed, but on it fully. It's a wordless acceptance of that offer, and an invitation. His bed is smaller than Eddie's - only a full - but there is room for the both of them.
He is still shaking slightly as he curls against Eddie's side, and it's all so much to deal with. Not just everything he's remembered about Eobard, but what it's brought out in the people close to him. Eddie, especially. Cisco closes his eyes, thinks about those words, the ones that Eddie says so easily and freely. That Cisco isn't alone. That he doesn't mind if Cisco wakes him up. That he wants to make Cisco feel safe. Not just keep him from dying, but make him feel safe. ]
I don't know how to feel safe anymore.
[ It comes out like a confession, sudden and hushed, with more than a little shame in the words. ]
You keep saying this stuff about how I'm strong, but these last few days... I can't stop thinking how I was this week, and I think- I think maybe he broke something in me that can't get fixed.
[ That is Cisco's fear - a fear that is just as strong as his fear that Eobard will come through the portal again, or that someone else in his life will prove to be another backstabbing psychopath. The fear that Eobard has forever reshaped him into something dangerous, and horrible, and evil. Cisco had alluded to that fear, to Eddie. When he talked about his powers, and what Eobard had said. But it goes deeper, further than just his metahuman abilities. It reaches everywhere, to every piece of him.
Cisco looks over at Eddie in the dim light, and his voice has gone a little tight with emotion as he asks: ]
Why are you so nice to me?
[ He remembers all that Eddie said, about caring for him, about seeing him as more than just a close friend. But that doesn't explain it. There is stark confusion in the way he asks the question, like he can't fathom the answer. It just doesn't compute, being treated this way. He doesn't understand it. ]
no subject
He is still shaking slightly as he curls against Eddie's side, and it's all so much to deal with. Not just everything he's remembered about Eobard, but what it's brought out in the people close to him. Eddie, especially. Cisco closes his eyes, thinks about those words, the ones that Eddie says so easily and freely. That Cisco isn't alone. That he doesn't mind if Cisco wakes him up. That he wants to make Cisco feel safe. Not just keep him from dying, but make him feel safe. ]
I don't know how to feel safe anymore.
[ It comes out like a confession, sudden and hushed, with more than a little shame in the words. ]
You keep saying this stuff about how I'm strong, but these last few days... I can't stop thinking how I was this week, and I think- I think maybe he broke something in me that can't get fixed.
[ That is Cisco's fear - a fear that is just as strong as his fear that Eobard will come through the portal again, or that someone else in his life will prove to be another backstabbing psychopath. The fear that Eobard has forever reshaped him into something dangerous, and horrible, and evil. Cisco had alluded to that fear, to Eddie. When he talked about his powers, and what Eobard had said. But it goes deeper, further than just his metahuman abilities. It reaches everywhere, to every piece of him.
Cisco looks over at Eddie in the dim light, and his voice has gone a little tight with emotion as he asks: ]
Why are you so nice to me?
[ He remembers all that Eddie said, about caring for him, about seeing him as more than just a close friend. But that doesn't explain it. There is stark confusion in the way he asks the question, like he can't fathom the answer. It just doesn't compute, being treated this way. He doesn't understand it. ]