[It doesn't escape Eddie, the irony that he'd accidentally made the mistake he was trying to avoid by saying what he thought was something clear. He'd thought that Cisco would understand what he meant when he said he wanted to be friends for now, in the interim, that he needed to have some space to make sure that this is going to be good for both of them.]
I'm sorry I wasn't clearer. I thought I was but I completely missed how it would sound, and everything was so awkward...I'm sorry.
[But Cisco doesn't look mad or disappointed or like he wants to recoil, instead he leans in, presses his cheek against Eddie's hand and says that they can still do that, that if Eddie wants to ask him out, he'll say yes. And suddenly, Eddie's heart is pounding hard and it takes everything in him not to just ask Cisco now, right here, in bed, in the middle of the night after a difficult conversation and tears, to be with him, his boyfriend, partner, whatever.
But it's the wrong time. It feels wrong, when they're both so emotionally vulnerable, especially Cisco, wanting to be wanted because of what he'd just learned about someone he loved so much. So Eddie bites his tongue, and just shakes his head.]
I don't think I'm gonna change my mind, Cisco. It's not a whim, it's... [He shake his head, exhales softly.] It's you. You're amazing.
[And after a moment, he exhales, heavily, his eyes on Cisco's while Cisco explains that he wants to communicate better and how far back his crush had gone. Eddie smiles a bit, and dips his head, breaks eye contact for a few moments, smiling shyly.]
That long? I...I know I had some developing feelings for you even before Taako and I broke up. Toward the end, I was aware that...I was opening up to you more than I was to him, and that he wasn't really sharing anything with me, that I wasn't the person he'd talk to about what was bothering him. You always have, and...that's important to me, you know? But I didn't realize the type of feelings I had until the blackout, while you were taking care of my burns...
[Licking his lips, Eddie lifts his chin and meets Cisco's eyes when he asks if he means it when he says he can sleep here.]
Yes. Of course. I don't want you to be stuck alone with all of this. I know the whole conversation turned to you and me, but I know the other stuff is going to come back the minute you're not thinking about you and me, when it's dark and you're trying to sleep, and I don't want you to have to be alone when that happens. I don't mind if you have to cry. I just want to be here.
[And then, softly, firmly and with a great deal of emotion.]
And I'm not out of your league. If anything, you're out of mine.
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I'm sorry I wasn't clearer. I thought I was but I completely missed how it would sound, and everything was so awkward...I'm sorry.
[But Cisco doesn't look mad or disappointed or like he wants to recoil, instead he leans in, presses his cheek against Eddie's hand and says that they can still do that, that if Eddie wants to ask him out, he'll say yes. And suddenly, Eddie's heart is pounding hard and it takes everything in him not to just ask Cisco now, right here, in bed, in the middle of the night after a difficult conversation and tears, to be with him, his boyfriend, partner, whatever.
But it's the wrong time. It feels wrong, when they're both so emotionally vulnerable, especially Cisco, wanting to be wanted because of what he'd just learned about someone he loved so much. So Eddie bites his tongue, and just shakes his head.]
I don't think I'm gonna change my mind, Cisco. It's not a whim, it's... [He shake his head, exhales softly.] It's you. You're amazing.
[And after a moment, he exhales, heavily, his eyes on Cisco's while Cisco explains that he wants to communicate better and how far back his crush had gone. Eddie smiles a bit, and dips his head, breaks eye contact for a few moments, smiling shyly.]
That long? I...I know I had some developing feelings for you even before Taako and I broke up. Toward the end, I was aware that...I was opening up to you more than I was to him, and that he wasn't really sharing anything with me, that I wasn't the person he'd talk to about what was bothering him. You always have, and...that's important to me, you know? But I didn't realize the type of feelings I had until the blackout, while you were taking care of my burns...
[Licking his lips, Eddie lifts his chin and meets Cisco's eyes when he asks if he means it when he says he can sleep here.]
Yes. Of course. I don't want you to be stuck alone with all of this. I know the whole conversation turned to you and me, but I know the other stuff is going to come back the minute you're not thinking about you and me, when it's dark and you're trying to sleep, and I don't want you to have to be alone when that happens. I don't mind if you have to cry. I just want to be here.
[And then, softly, firmly and with a great deal of emotion.]
And I'm not out of your league. If anything, you're out of mine.