[For a long time, Cisco is quiet, leaning against Eddie with his face pressed into the crook of his neck, his breath warm against Eddie's skin, his body moving slightly as he breathes and his heart beats. Eddie's own heart is speeding up as he waits for a response, and he knows, he knows that Cisco probably needs time to process and figure out what he wants to say in return, what he feels. Eddie knows he's pushing it, he's putting too much on Cisco when Cisco is already obviously upset and distraught. This is a bad time, it was stupid to bring it up now, and he squeezes gently at Cisco's shoulders as he he debates changing the subject, apologizing for even mentioning this.
But then Cisco is saying he thought Eddie didn't want...and he's pulling back to look at him. In the dim light from his bedside lamp, Cisco's face looks almost painfully beautiful, framed by his hair, with his full lips and his dark eyes outlined in red from his tears, and Eddie feels a wave of attraction and want and protectiveness. Swallowing hard, Eddie lets Cisco speak, lets him explain what's on his mind, what has been on his mind all this time, and a lump forms in his throat as he realizes the miscommunication that's happened. By the time Cisco is saying that, that he thought Eddie had meant 'I don't actually want you' Eddie is shaking his head.]
No, that's not what I meant at all. I meant what I said, that just for now I felt like it would be better. It just didn't feel right, starting something between us like that, so soon after what happened with Taako...that's how it started with him. A good night together, and then something physical, and falling into something without talking about it, without making sure we were on the same page, wanting the same thing, and it didn't work. It doesn't work that way. I don't want us to end up like that, hurting each other because we didn't take the time to talk about it and make sure it was going to be good for both of us.
[Lifting a hand, Eddie gently tucks Cisco's hair back behind an ear, brushes his knuckles against Cisco's cheek, his eyes on Cisco's face, his expression open and genuine.]
You're worth more than that. And the only...the only thing that was a mistake about what we did is that...that it made everything confusing and complicated when I should've just waited until I was sure I was healed up, after Taako, and then asked you out properly. But I don't regret it, and when I said I wanted to be friends for now, I really meant, just for now. You're so full of kindness and compassion and you deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion yourself, you deserve me...taking my time, so I don't hurt you.
no subject
But then Cisco is saying he thought Eddie didn't want...and he's pulling back to look at him. In the dim light from his bedside lamp, Cisco's face looks almost painfully beautiful, framed by his hair, with his full lips and his dark eyes outlined in red from his tears, and Eddie feels a wave of attraction and want and protectiveness. Swallowing hard, Eddie lets Cisco speak, lets him explain what's on his mind, what has been on his mind all this time, and a lump forms in his throat as he realizes the miscommunication that's happened. By the time Cisco is saying that, that he thought Eddie had meant 'I don't actually want you' Eddie is shaking his head.]
No, that's not what I meant at all. I meant what I said, that just for now I felt like it would be better. It just didn't feel right, starting something between us like that, so soon after what happened with Taako...that's how it started with him. A good night together, and then something physical, and falling into something without talking about it, without making sure we were on the same page, wanting the same thing, and it didn't work. It doesn't work that way. I don't want us to end up like that, hurting each other because we didn't take the time to talk about it and make sure it was going to be good for both of us.
[Lifting a hand, Eddie gently tucks Cisco's hair back behind an ear, brushes his knuckles against Cisco's cheek, his eyes on Cisco's face, his expression open and genuine.]
You're worth more than that. And the only...the only thing that was a mistake about what we did is that...that it made everything confusing and complicated when I should've just waited until I was sure I was healed up, after Taako, and then asked you out properly. But I don't regret it, and when I said I wanted to be friends for now, I really meant, just for now. You're so full of kindness and compassion and you deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion yourself, you deserve me...taking my time, so I don't hurt you.