( closed ) blind ninja meets whatever it is she is

[fogwells]

who: Matt Murdock & Jessica Jones
what: Super cool neighbors have a super friendly meeting!
when: August
where: Floor 9 of community housing
warnings: None, of course, absolutely nothing can go wrong!

[ He'd check to find out if Foggy and Karen were here, if they'd somehow been displaced like he was. Finding no hint of them, he wasn't sure whether to take it as something of relief or not. Not knowing enough about this place, it was hard to tell whether it was safer or more dangerous than Hell's Kitchen. Whichever was the worst, Matt didn't like not being with them to protect them.

The day had already been long, but it was just the beginning of his research, deciding to take it all one step at a time — all as Matt Murdock, and Matt Murdock alone.

Cane clutched in hand, he makes his way down the hallway of his floor, tapping at the ground in front of him. There's no need for it, not with his senses alerting him well of his surroundings, but he senses movement behind some of the doors to the other room. One in particular is about to be opened, sensing it in the way that feet tap across the floor, closer and closer.

When it opens, there's a woman there, practically his own height, with a heavy air about her.

Matt tilts his head up, facing her general direction, making sure not to look directly at her before shifting into a smile. ] Hi. You must be my neightbor.

Comments

[fogwells]

[ Two days. That answer doesn't provide much for him, on account of not really being able to decipher much of how time has been running for him. Had the days run parallel when they'd ciphered through their memories? Had they all just blended together?

He sighs, because from her lips, two days comes out sounding like a lifetime.

Reaching slowly, he finds her hand on the mattress before curving his own fingers around hers. Loosely, in the case that she doesn't welcome the touch and in that he doesn't have the strength for much of a tight hold to begin with.

But all the same, it's nice to simply feel the warmth of her, to know that she's real and he isn't lost in some mindless dream, unable to distinguish the collision of his worlds apart. This was still Jessica, as he knew her. And as he keeps a gentle hold of her hand, he wants to relay the same message back to her — that he was still Matthew as she knew him. ]

[hardedged]

[ she's never been good at this — at providing comfort, at consoling others. back home, she could barely acknowledge that matthew murdock was a friend, much less that his demise devastated her far more than she cared to admit.

jessica doesn't brush off his hand, permitting him to keep their fingers loosely entwined. he's here. he's safe. perhaps he broke his promise to her, but he came back. that's all that matters. ]

Did you get through to her?

[ she inquires gently, her eyes never drifting from him in the darkness. once she asks, jessica extracts her hand, creating yet another layer of distance between them.

she recalls why he stayed, what kept him tethered to that building. murdock couldn't leave his ex behind, that dipshit. she hopes elektra natchios was worth it. ]

[fogwells]

[ Did you get through to her?

There's a tightening in his chest, with the recollection of hours of chasing, hours of insisting, flooding his memory. Elektra was in his arms in that cave, her lips on his own — but he could never, in the end, understand how much of Elektra was really in there still. How much of her did he save in the end? And was it enough — ?

Enough for his faults, enough to give him the answers he'd sought out when he'd buried her? When he's shut away the costume, when he'd shut away part of himself?

Even now, out of the rubble, Matt doesn't know a thing. ]

I don't know. [ He says quietly, the most honest answer he can give. Once again, Jessica's touch is out of his reach, something that had once truly made sense for even just a moment, for just a few spare hours in warmth of his bed, when he thought maybe he could have some peace — not meant for him to hold.

And he knows it's just what he deserves. ]

[hardedged]

[ he doesn't know. after all of that goddamn effort, the moronic martyr still doesn't know. the thought angers her, that somehow he would risk his life for a brainwashed asshole who won't even appreciate his sacrifice.

fuck, what the hell is wrong with her? she releases a deep exhale, averting her gaze. ]

God, Murdock.

[ she's half disgusted, half exhausted. regardless, she doesn't leave him, her legs still hanging off the edge of the mattress. she promised, after all. ]

[fogwells]

I love you.

[hardedged]

Shit, you're right. I love you too.

[fogwells]

[ He can't judge Jessica for how she sees it all. She's entirely in her right to be angry with him if she is, to be furious with the chain of events that he was entirely responsible for. Maybe if he hadn't kept with his lies, kept holding back the truth from her, from all of them —

No, this went even further back. Lying to Foggy, to Karen, to himself. ]

This was — this was my fault. All of it.

[ I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He could continue to apologize, but what did it matter? He was only ever made of excuses that made up nothing at all.

His voice is almost hoarse, swallowing to clear it. ] I just wanted ... I was tired of not being able to save them.

[ Them — Elektra, his father. If he'd been given the chance to save at least one, why wouldn't he take it? Even if it cost him everything. ]

[hardedged]

[ she doesn't know what to say because ultimately, he's right. matthew murdock fucked this up. she quickly tired of his bullshit from the beginning, when he sabotaged the team for natchios. she won't fault him for feeling like shit because she carries her own guilt as a heavy, familiar burden on her shoulders.

however, she can't exactly blame him either. she's screwed up more times than she can count, and if trish was involved instead? well, nothing in the world could stop her from saving the other woman. just like she'd do the same for malcolm. for luke. for—

she halts that thought before it fully forms. it's too dangerous to dwell on, but before she can reconsider, the hidden meaning slips through her mouth. ]

Yeah well, next time— [ if there is a next time. ] Save yourself.

[ because he's too important to risk. ]

[fogwells]

[ Jessica has a way with words that he's gradually learned to distinguish without a full translation. She doesn't sugarcoat her insults or hold back from letting her anger fly full force at him, but when her voice is soft and the room is quiet, sometimes it's easier to listen to what she says without saying.

Save yourself.

There's a sense of calm through his body as she says it, his muscles much less tense now that he's resting from wandering through the streets and climbing fire escapes. There's ease also in only focusing on one thing, on her voice vibrating through the air, on her tired breaths. ]

Yeah. [ He responds to the silence, pausing for a brief moment as he licks at dry lips. ] Except you're the one saving me right now.

[ He huffs a weary smile, subtle in his exhaustion but still present, letting the moment hang briefly before he continues, ] I'd probably be wasting away in a dumpster otherwise.

[hardedged]

I'd never let that happen.

[ slowly, she closes the distance between them and encourages him to rest his head on her lap. her fingers comb through his hair idly, a soft smile brightening her expression as silence fills the room. ]

Matthew Murdock, you're mine. And I'm never letting you run off again. You asshole.

[fogwells]

[ He smiles at the insult, the perfect choice of words to remind him that he's home — home, a word he hasn't felt the weight of in years. But he feels it now as he finds comfort in the warmth of her lap, serenity found in the gentle caress of her stroking fingers over his hair, lulling him to rest.

His own hand finds her free one, and he trails a touch behind it gently, taking in the air of this blissful silence, this moment of peace he's longed for in the chaos of this devil's life.

It's with a quiet voice when he finally whispers, ] Marry me, Jessica.

[hardedged]

[ a humorless breath escapes her lips, though jessica can't manage to feel surprised. murdock is such a smartass, even when he's bleeding and on the verge of death. god, she could use a drink right now. ]

You still need a doctor.

[ she reminds him after a moment, her shoulders slumping down with a soft sigh. ]

Knowing my crapass luck, I'll break more of your ribs.

[fogwells]

[ He manages a small laugh, hinted more by the soft noise he makes as he tries to keep himself from shaking from it. ]

As long as you can resist throwing any punches, I think you'll be okay. [ Granted, he was convinced she might have been capable of it, if she were mad enough. He wouldn't have entirely blamed her if she had wanted to.

But he shakes his head, sighing without giving the other statement a second thought. ]

I, uh, I left the hospital before I got here. They already did most of the work, I just — I didn't want to stay there. I needed to get out. I needed to know that I was really here. I needed to find — [ He pauses, his lips still parted as if resisting to formulate the words. But unlike Jessica, he can't quite help himself with his honesty. ]

I needed to find you.

[ To apologize. To make sure she was alive. To make sure he was alive. To make sure all the memories from here were as just as real as those in Hell's Kitchen. ]

[hardedged]

[ his response, while sarcastic, reassures her all the same. he'll survive, even in this state, and god, for once she doesn't mind his big mouth. she'll let him run it as much as he wants, as long as he stays with her like this.

he needed to find her. just as she needed to find him. the desperation clawed at her from the inside out, tightening her chest, as she rushed to his apartment. in her frantic frenzy, she broke the lock on his front door, hoping to catch any glimpse she could of him.

she needed to ensure he was real, that the time they spent together wasn't a mere dream. ]

Shit.

[ the realization hits her, hard and quick — they slept together, not at home but here. where she couldn't deny the spark of attraction between them any longer. jesus christ, how embarrassing. still, she can't resist commenting on it. ]

All this for a booty call?

[fogwells]

[ He doesn't expect her to bring it up, but the surprise that comes when she does makes him snort out a small bit of laughter. It's just like Jessica to say it as straight forward as she does. ]

I think if I came for a booty call, there'd definitely be a lot of broken ribs.

[ Even if he wasn't in the condition he was now, the comment alone would warrant a few. But there's an ease in his smile, despite all the physical pain he tries to settle through, his body under much less stress than it had been when he'd woken up alone in that hospital bed.

His smile remains calm, peaceful even, as he continues with honesty, ]

But you know — you know that's not how I see you.

[hardedged]

[ goddammit. don't be gross, murdock. ]

You can't see a damn thing.

[ she reminds him, clearly uncomfortable with his abrupt and sincere observation. the asshole just rose up from the dead, and he's already trying to fluster her. well, it won't work. ]

Are you gonna sleep or what?

[ she shifts over slightly, closer to the edge of the mattress. jess is tempted to depart from the room and offer him some privacy, but her promise still rings in her head. he wants her to stay with him, and thus she hesitates.

she can't leave now, not until he asks. ]

[fogwells]

Sure, in a sense of the word.

[ They both know exactly what he meant, so he won't bother clarifying, especially when she changes the conversation as fast as she does. Defining any of this in words has never been their way of confronting it, in any case.

Tired as he is, he sighs, thinking on her question. ]

Yeah, I — [ He pauses, hand pressing down over the space next to him on the mattress, realizing with a frown. ] I took your bed.

[hardedged]

[ as the conversation moves into a different direction, she exhales softly, her posture relaxing in his presence. with nonchalance, jess shrugs, staring down at his hand. then, interpreting this as her cue to exit, she starts to stand up. ]

I'll take the couch.

[fogwells]

[ He hears the relief of the mattress when she picks up her weight, standing to go. It's an exchange of words that's almost familiar, from the night she'd stayed in his apartment and he'd insisted she take the bed, to which she only agreed out of supreme annoyance.

It's possibly for the best not to argue now, knowing the inevitable response.

But too many emotions collided together when he'd woken up from his temporary coma, and they continue to surf through the layers of his mind even now, that he can't stop himself when he call out to her, ]

Jessica. [ His voice remains soft, a subtle exhaustion in his tone. ] I know that — I know you'll say no. And I won't push you if you do, but — [ He takes a breath, briefly biting his lip. ] But if you wanted to ... lay here with me, just lay here, just for the night, I'd like that. Just so that ... just so we wouldn't have to wake up alone.

[hardedged]

[ she freezes in place, her gaze widening at his request. jessica could scoff at his audacity, could dismiss him with a curt retort. however, she remains silent instead, pressing her lips together in contemplation. ]

You're gonna be fine, Murdock.

[ turning around, she glances at the threshold of the door, unable to step forward yet unable to look at him either. this is the only way she can reassure him — she won't abandon him, even if they're in separate rooms. he's alive and he's safe. with her. ]

I won't leave you again.

[fogwells]

[ She's still a distance away, and yet she feels closer somehow. Closer than she had been when they'd met in the hallway just outside this apartment, closer than the last time he'd slept in this apartment, closer than when they'd say on opposite ends of an interrogation table.

He feels her standing there and when she speaks, he trusts her.

Trust — Matt always found that to be too difficult a feat. But with Jessica, despite her scowls and her sharp tongue, he'd never realized how easy it could be until tonight.

A tired smile lingers on his lips, his eyes closing from the exhaust, sleep attempting to chase him with persistence. ]

I'm glad. [ He whispers with an air of calmness before he adds, with what he hopes, at least tonight, is complete honesty, ] Neither will I.

[hardedged]

[ jess is well aware that he can't keep that promise, even if it's sincere. matthew murdock is as impulsive as she is, with the proper motivation. he sacrificed himself to save elektra — to save new york, and they both know he would do it all over again.

still, for tonight, she doesn't mind pretending. ]

Rest up.

[ with one more wistful glance, she turns around to walk out of the room. ]