riverviewlogs | ( closed ) blind ninja meets whatever it is she is

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( closed ) blind ninja meets whatever it is she is

who: Matt Murdock & Jessica Jones
what: Super cool neighbors have a super friendly meeting!
when: August
where: Floor 9 of community housing
warnings: None, of course, absolutely nothing can go wrong!

[ He'd check to find out if Foggy and Karen were here, if they'd somehow been displaced like he was. Finding no hint of them, he wasn't sure whether to take it as something of relief or not. Not knowing enough about this place, it was hard to tell whether it was safer or more dangerous than Hell's Kitchen. Whichever was the worst, Matt didn't like not being with them to protect them.

The day had already been long, but it was just the beginning of his research, deciding to take it all one step at a time — all as Matt Murdock, and Matt Murdock alone.

Cane clutched in hand, he makes his way down the hallway of his floor, tapping at the ground in front of him. There's no need for it, not with his senses alerting him well of his surroundings, but he senses movement behind some of the doors to the other room. One in particular is about to be opened, sensing it in the way that feet tap across the floor, closer and closer.

When it opens, there's a woman there, practically his own height, with a heavy air about her.

Matt tilts his head up, facing her general direction, making sure not to look directly at her before shifting into a smile. ] Hi. You must be my neightbor.

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[ what a mother hen. he just has to fight her on everything. matthew murdock is goddamn impossible to please. growing more exasperated, she ultimately succumbs and stands up, as her fingers twitch in mild irritation. ]

Jesus, fine. If it'll shut you up.

[ Push-and-pull, as always, though he doesn't fail to notice the quick turnaround with this argument. Just as he's come to know her tendencies of resistance, it's clear she's become familiar with his own persistence.

He gives a simple, satisfied smile in her direction, before he gestures down the hall with his arm as he shifts past her to seat himself on the couch where she'd stood up from. ] Bedroom's that way. Plenty of pillows and sheets. Let me know if you need anything.

[ That additional line is said for the sake of it, knowing full well that she has absolutely no intentions to ask him for anything at all. ]

[ jess flips him off, even if she knows he can't see it, and enters his bedroom. her body slumps on the mattress, her strength shaking the frame despite how thin she is, and she shuts her eyes. god, even his bed is comfortable, as promised. fuck him.

she rests well enough at the beginning, though after a few hours, she wakes up due to yet another nightmare. a sudden flash of purple is all it takes. jessica hears the devil's voice, feels herself obey his every command against her will. no matter how much she struggles, she must comply. he tells her to smile, to love him, to take care of her. and she does, until all that remains is reva's cold corpse and an innocent woman's blood staining her hands.

with a harsh gasp, she awakens, bolting up on the mattress and throwing off the silk sheets. her eyes open, genuine fright shining in them, as jess starts to hyperventilate. ]

Shit. Shit. Shit.

[ He may not see it but Matt knows exactly when she points that finger at him, even if he doesn't make any notable reaction to it. He says nothing else as she walks away, sitting in a silence among the couch, only letting out a heavy sigh when she's out of sight in his bedroom.

When he finally drops into the cushions, he falls asleep fast, his night of trailing rooftops tiring him out, the activity almost too foreign to him again after months of giving it up. His exhaustion overwhelms himself that he doesn't swim in the regret for long, instead enveloping himself in a newfound darkness. It's the kind that doesn't have sensors or heightened abilities, just the mere black void of his dreams where sometimes voices will reach out to him — his dad, Stick, Foggy, Karen, Elektra. Recently, he's heard Jessica's voice more too, the soft, comforting tone of her voice comforting him from his screams, the ease of his pulse when he'd been able to hear her heartbeat —

And he hears it now. Fast, pumping hard in her chest.

He wakes, his eyes opening wide as he immediately tries to get a grasp of his surroundings and her location. Jolting up to his feet, he races into the room, wasting no time in climbing upon the bed beside her on his knees. His hands slide on either side of her neck, guiding her to face him. ]

Jessica, Jessica! [ Her breaths are fast and erratic, and he knows something's wrong. ] I'm here. It's me. Jessica — [ His fingers rest upon her cheeks, warmth draped upon her skin as he strokes his thumb there carefully, trying to ease her panic down. ] Hey, look at me. It's me. I've got you. I've got you.

Edited 2017-11-12 20:50 (UTC)

[ she feels trapped for a long moment, as if she's still under that bastard's control, until murdock's presence breaks the spell. he's kneeling down, the soft skin of his fingertips brushing against her face, urging her to concentrate on him.

the concern in his tone, accompanied by the gentle caress of his thumb, alleviates the anguish rushing through her. it both unsettles and reassures jessica, all at once. he's got her. he's got her — he won't allow anything to happen to her, and she's reminded of the comforting warmth of her sister, as well as luke cage.

the thick air surrounding them no longer stifles her, not when he's here. jess raises a hand, hovering for a few seconds before it covers one of his. she hasn't quite returned to her senses yet, though she's slowly recovering her composure. she leans forward and breathes deeply, her forehead touching his, as her eyes close. ]

[ He follows the rhythm of her pulse and the motions of her hot breath falling over his lips from where he leans in close. It's all familiar, this unsteady state of mind that she faces, and the memory showers him once more when her hand drapes over his own, and his own breath catches for a quick moment.

Foreheads pressed close together, skin warm over skin, he whispers all the more softly, knowing his voice can reach her much better like this. ]

I'm here, Jessica. For as long as you need me. [ He sighs, eyes closing as he continues to stroke the curve of her cheeks with warm caresses. ] Listen to my voice, okay? I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with you.

[ she exhales against his mouth, and the moment overwhelms her, both in terms of his physical proximity and his compassionate response. jessica craves a bottle of bourbon, although there's no alcohol in sight. thus, she seeks the only other panacea she can find. pressing her lips against his, she silences matthew with a kiss. it's slow at first, moving in rhythm to the soft strokes of his fingers, before quickly heating up.

she doesn't want to dwell on that monster, on what he forced her to do. instead, jessica suppresses those painful memories the best way she knows how — by numbing the sorrow with a pleasant distraction. ]

[ When Matt had first arrived here, he'd been without purpose, without anything to grasp. Foggy and Karen had long left his side, all from his own faults, from his own ambitions to be a savior for his city. He'd clung to the idea of Elektra, this limitless freedom that could release him from the strains of every lie he lived day to day. With her death, with his friends far and away from his side, he'd had nothing left.

There'd been something to Jessica's presence, from the night she'd soothed his heart, to every bantering conversation that followed that had prompted something from him — a distraction, maybe, but when he had lay with her in her bed, his eyes finding hers, an ache had swelled in his chest. It lingered on, through every following argument, through her biting kiss in the hallway, and it continued to trickle as he aimed to settle whatever fears pulled and tugged at her now.

He breathes in sharply at the first sensation of the kiss before sighing in ease against her mouth. The careful caress of her lips leaves him falling, his fingers clinging at her skin.

Matt knows this means nothing more than console to her. He'd hadn't received answers as to why she let him into her bed that night, still not entirely convinced the bottles hadn't played a part, but if she wants to use him, he lets her. Parting his mouth, he'll allow her to expel any of her inner demons onto him.

A devil drowning in his own hell, he's already used to the weight. A little extra means nothing if it could lighten it from her shoulders. ]

[ deepening the kiss with her tongue, she explores his mouth with an aggressive amount of fervor. her arms shift to encircle his neck, pulling him in closer.

she's always been a selfish piece of shit, ever since the beginning. her parents and brother perished in a car accident due to a petty argument that she started. she couldn't even save hope, regardless of how many opportunities she had or how hard she tried.

after escaping from kilgrave, she isolated herself for months. even from trish, the one person she's always wanted to protect. ashamed by her transgressions, she concealed the horrifying truth from luke, only to have their relationship collapse further when she shot him in the head.

and now, she's using an innocent man to ease her suffering. matthew murdock has only offered her benevolence, in every sense of the word, yet this is how she repays him. she exploits his kind and generous heart for her own ulterior motives. and that's the truth, isn't it? the alternative is impossible to contemplate.

jessica jones doesn't deserve happiness, not when she's been denied the possibility all of her life. a strong sense of guilt overpowers her lust, and the unspoken realization startles her awake. abruptly, jess moves back, disentangling herself from him. ]

Fuck.

[ Matt can get lost in her — he can taste the hunger of her mouth with her aching tongue and feel the tight grip of her arms bellowing him further against her. It's not a trick of the eyes this time, no manipulation of his mind by giving him something to see, by giving him a focal point for the ardor of his emotions.

This time, Jessica is as much in the darkness as the rest of the world, but the heat of her wet lips and her enclosed hold still manage to brighten every peak of his senses without aid of any magical potion.

He could hold her here for as long as she willed him, let themselves get lost in the silent hours of the night, but history always repeats and he feels her draw away from him. She denies him anymore of their kiss, his breath capturing a sharp intake of fresh air almost unwillingly. But he simply remains where he is, panting as he continues to hold her, his fingers draped against her neck, her pulse vibrating against his palm.

He says nothing, knowing the quiet sound of their breaths is enough to fill the room, save for her inevitable swear. There's no judgment, no hurt as he did the last time she pushed him away, because he understands.

Leaning in, he presses his lips to her temple, letting his kiss linger with the softness of its touch. His nose remains tucked her in her hair, still not fully leaving her side as his thumb absentmindedly strokes the sharp curve of her neck. ]

[ her posture grows rigid beneath his touch, all sharp edges once more. her mind can barely process what's occurring right now — she revels in the warmth of his body, yet at the same time, the thought terrifies her. she loathes how effortless this feels, how his presence relaxes her as it did the first night of their union. she could convince herself then that the effects of the potion sparked their mutual attraction, but that laughable excuse won't work twice.

a part of jess yearns to lean into his embrace, to reciprocate his caress. however, she can't, and she won't. she'll only disappoint him. it's inevitable. pulling back, she shakes her head, then scrambles to rise to her feet.

with a startled breath, she discovers her voice again. ]

Murdock. What the hell?

[ the question lacks her usual audacity; there's no stubborn strength supporting it, simply confusion. ]

[ Matt has grown accustomed to the presence of fleeting romances; Elektra was never someone that ever knew the mere concept of keeping still and his happiness with Karen was as transient as any soothing dream he's had the fortune of falling into.

With Jessica, little is different. His heart swells with her warm in his arms until the heat of his palms conflict with the new emptiness beneath their touch.

He remains in place for moments after she moves away, fingers simply brushing down over his thighs as he listens to the change in the air when she lefts herself from the bed. He licks at his lip, the taste of her mouth still lingering, biting at the skin before he turns his head to face her, his eyes focusing on nothing at all.

His voice is quiet, almost tired. ]

Everything I said, Jessica — I meant it. [ I'm here. I've got you. For as long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere. ] I'm not the most ... honest person. I've had to lie and pretend, all in order to keep my secret. I've — I've let down people that trusted me to be there. [ He could still taste the salt that lingered around at the corner of Foggy's eyes when he'd been betrayed, the ferocious anger in Karen's voice when she'd been done with it all. ] I'm not always this, this savior I insist I could be. [ He sometimes wondered if Elektra's blood still stained his hands; he'd never be able to tell otherwise. ] I know you don't want to let yourself trust me, and you have every right to believe that.

[ He swallows, catching his breath. ]

But every word I've said to you has been the truth. Every single one. [ He huffs a breath, shaking his head. ] Feel my heart if you want to. But, Jessica, I'm — I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. And I know it's not what you want to hear. I know that, but — [ Another breath, deep. ] You don't always to run.

[ she stands still, having no choice other than to listen to his explanation. of course, she's not compelled to stay here. jessica could simply storm off, out of his room and beyond the threshold of his apartment. she's abandoned him before, more times than she can count.

regardless, she can't manage to succumb to that instinct for once. not again. not when he's in front of her, exposing every vulnerable thought that crosses his mind. not when he's trying so goddamn hard to reach her, no matter how foolish and futile his efforts truly are.

and perhaps, deep down, she doesn't want to leave. she's always just disappeared, vanished whenever she encountered an obstacle. she's shit at saying goodbye, and the truth is — she can't cope with shutting him out, not anymore. she's tired of running.

with a low exhale of defeat, she sits back down on the mattress, glancing over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of him. ]

I need a drink.

[ He might be prepared to hear her trail out the door, a sound that's grown familiar through the past several years. It's been far too long since he's had anyone willingly stay.

But she does. With no real response, none but the request for a drink, which is the best that he can hope for, really.

His mouth sways into a soft smile, voice still quiet but less strained than before. ]

We could clear out the couple of beers rolling around in my fridge.

[ her brow furrows, a sarcastic scoff slipping past her lips. she's not exactly pleased with that answer. ]

Beer. That's it?

[ of course, beer would be the hardest liquor he has. what a lightweight. ]

[ He chuckles lightly at her response, not at all offended at her offense. ]

I wasn't really expecting guests.

[ Because Jessica Jones wasn't ever commonly found anywhere near his apartment, at least not to take command of the drinking menu. ]

[ rolling her eyes, she settles back on the mattress. she rests against the headboard, sitting up as she watches him with an amused look. she prefers whiskey, but she'll take what she can get. ]

Go get 'em.

[ she's not getting off her lazy ass. ]

[ His smile is more relaxed at her response, focusing on her shifting back onto the bed and finding comfort at the head of it. As she does, he climbs off the bed, pointing that simple smile in her direction briefly before he makes for his kitchen, having memorized the layout of his apartment to find the fridge.

The chill of the beers cool at his palms, the sudden shift in temperature biting at his skin, but he pops off the tops before finding his way back to the room. ]

I'll be sure to stock up. [ He typically doesn't go too hard, those nights usually reserved for when he and Foggy completed a case. Win or lose, there was usually some valid reason to up the alcohol content.

Seating himself at the edge of the bed, he holds out a beer to her, chills trickling around his fingertips. ]

[ she's never one to decline free booze. jess accepts the drink, her fingers brushing against his for a moment before she huffs a breath and pulls away. shit. what the fuck is wrong with her? ]

Just tonight. Remember?

[ so there's no need to stock up, although that would be one way to lure in jessica jones. ]

[ The lightest touch but Matt can feel the rising heat of the caress like an imprinted fire. Blame typically goes to the sensitivity of his senses, and that doesn't ultimately change even now.

But his lips curve and and he makes an amused noise, his lips kissing the edge of his own bottle as he takes a sip. ]

Right. Just tonight. [ He repeats, as if more convincing could possibly be required.

However, his voice shifts, his expression transforming with it, more concern blossoming through the lines of his face. Speaking softly, he tilts his head, his gaze lost. ] I can ... stick around until you fall asleep. If you wanted me to.

[ jesus, it's that goddamn nightmare, throwing her off. that's the only reasonable explanation. her head's a mess, and he just happens to be here to witness it. just her crapass luck.

jessica opens her beer, taking a swig before she abruptly pauses at the offer. there's a dry snort in response. ]

Don't need a babysitter, Murdock.

[ He smiles casually at her statement, the kind of retort he expects but takes no offense to. He never has to with her. ]

I know.

[ Tough girl, Jessica Jones. ]

But I think I make decent company to have around sometimes. [ His grin strengthens slightly, amusement in his tone. ] Sometimes.

Nope. Only one thing you're good for.

[ spoiler alert: it's oral. she's as blunt as always, and she tips her head back, draining the rest of her beer in seconds. then, jess places the empty bottle on the nightstand, her gaze shifting to focus on him. she's hardly consumed any liquor, yet there's a sense of warmth already blossoming in her chest. ]

[ He quiets for a beat of a moment, his focus on the echo of her movements, on the flow of the liquid pouring down her throat, her motions sharp and without hesitation.

His head tilts as if intrigued with curiosity. ]

Not sure what you're talking about.

[ Spoiler alert: he knows. ]

[ she tells herself she doesn't need this, need him — not for another one-night stand and certainly not for any pretense of affection. then again, jessica jones has never possessed the greatest impulse control, and it's far easier to focus on her lust than the thought that there could be something more she would want from him. ]

You're dumb. [ jess leans in closer, hands and knees on the mattress as she advances. ] But not that dumb.

( closed ) blind ninja meets whatever it is she is

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