[ Cisco had been all set to turn and leave, even if Eddie voiced a half-hearted request for him to stay (which he might feel obligated to do, after all, even if he really wanted him gone). But he hadn't braced himself for Eddie reach out to him like that, careful, his thumb brushing against the soft skin on the inside of Cisco's wrist. Predictably, he thinks of the night before, how those same hands had felt in the dark, moving over him. It's enough to stop his momentum, make him wait and really listen.
Eddie's eyes are so impossibly blue, and Cisco can't look away from him. When Eddie says he wants Cisco in his life, his heart is immediately in his throat, and for just a second there is a flicker of awful, naked hope on his face. The only problem is Eddie doesn't stop there: he keeps going, because of course, wanting Cisco comes with an inevitable "but...".
But Cisco fights against the urge to shut down, shut it all out. He listens. It occurs to him that this explanation could be a strategy - a soft no, Eddie's way of letting Cisco down as gently as possible. He's about 50/50 on that. But either way, the truth of what Eddie's saying is impossible to deny. It's almost worse, knowing that Eddie's reasons are so mature and wise and right. Put simply, Eddie tells him something he should have already realized: that being with Cisco wouldn't be good for Eddie, right now. That it might actually even be bad for him.
Eddie frames it just right, to get in between Cisco and his own feeling of wounded rejection. He says that he needs time, needs Cisco around as his friend, and how could he possibly complain, or do anything to get in the way of Eddie getting what he needs? More than wanting Eddie, Cisco wants Eddie to be happy - not just temporarily, shallowly, but entirely. He draws in a too-sharp breath that is the tiniest bit quavery, but he nods, and looks a little less like he's about to break down. ]
Yeah. Yeah, of course. I get that.
[ His voice isn't like before - loud, falsely casual, hurried. His words are softer, and there's deep care behind them. ] I'm here. Any time you need me, okay. And- and you know I'm not going anywhere. So...
[ Cisco has always been an optimist. All his life, no matter how bad things got, he could almost always find a silver lining, an upside. And now, even through the thick awful fog of hurt, there's a tiny, but undeniable, speck of hope. Maybe... maybe Eddie will change his mind. Maybe 'right now' wouldn't last forever, and the two of them...
He can't let himself think it all the way, but that hope remains, nonetheless. Tiny, and fragile, but fixed. ]
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Eddie's eyes are so impossibly blue, and Cisco can't look away from him. When Eddie says he wants Cisco in his life, his heart is immediately in his throat, and for just a second there is a flicker of awful, naked hope on his face. The only problem is Eddie doesn't stop there: he keeps going, because of course, wanting Cisco comes with an inevitable "but...".
But Cisco fights against the urge to shut down, shut it all out. He listens. It occurs to him that this explanation could be a strategy - a soft no, Eddie's way of letting Cisco down as gently as possible. He's about 50/50 on that. But either way, the truth of what Eddie's saying is impossible to deny. It's almost worse, knowing that Eddie's reasons are so mature and wise and right. Put simply, Eddie tells him something he should have already realized: that being with Cisco wouldn't be good for Eddie, right now. That it might actually even be bad for him.
Eddie frames it just right, to get in between Cisco and his own feeling of wounded rejection. He says that he needs time, needs Cisco around as his friend, and how could he possibly complain, or do anything to get in the way of Eddie getting what he needs? More than wanting Eddie, Cisco wants Eddie to be happy - not just temporarily, shallowly, but entirely. He draws in a too-sharp breath that is the tiniest bit quavery, but he nods, and looks a little less like he's about to break down. ]
Yeah. Yeah, of course. I get that.
[ His voice isn't like before - loud, falsely casual, hurried. His words are softer, and there's deep care behind them. ] I'm here. Any time you need me, okay. And- and you know I'm not going anywhere. So...
[ Cisco has always been an optimist. All his life, no matter how bad things got, he could almost always find a silver lining, an upside. And now, even through the thick awful fog of hurt, there's a tiny, but undeniable, speck of hope. Maybe... maybe Eddie will change his mind. Maybe 'right now' wouldn't last forever, and the two of them...
He can't let himself think it all the way, but that hope remains, nonetheless. Tiny, and fragile, but fixed. ]