And what am I supposed to do if I want to follow orders?

[There's a bitter smile on his face, and he drops the cigarette with a huff.]

The last time I was my own man, I was eight years old. And every... every time that I've tried to function on my own, it just doesn't work. I go stir-crazy, I start fights, I fuck around with people, I get drunk, I just... need something to fill that part of me up.

[And the smile is off of his face by the time he's said all of this. He hasn't actually managed to say this to... anyone, before. But if anyone deserves a little context, it's probably Shigeru.]

I just... need someone to get my head straight before I get myself killed.