[He shudders beneath Spike's hands. He doesn't know how to let go of what's inside of him, or how to share it.]
I killed, and I kept on killing, until there was no one left. Now that it's over- I don't know what do anymore.
[John shakes his head, leaning into Spike, as if he's all that's keeping him from crumpling to the floor. He is.
All John really knows is how to survive. Now that nobody is trying to kill him, all his anger, everything he uses to lash out with, to kill, and to fight, has no place to go but at the person he hates most. The man who's really, truly, responsible for Helen's death. His damning self.]
no subject
[He shudders beneath Spike's hands. He doesn't know how to let go of what's inside of him, or how to share it.]
I killed, and I kept on killing, until there was no one left. Now that it's over- I don't know what do anymore.
[John shakes his head, leaning into Spike, as if he's all that's keeping him from crumpling to the floor. He is.
All John really knows is how to survive. Now that nobody is trying to kill him, all his anger, everything he uses to lash out with, to kill, and to fight, has no place to go but at the person he hates most. The man who's really, truly, responsible for Helen's death. His damning self.]
I'm cursed. You should know that.