[He has every right to back out, even when she tells him the nature of the competition, but she's hopeful that he'll be amenable.]

The short of it is that he seems to think that his ass is more spectacular than mine and I know it as a matter of fact that mine's the best one between us. Rather than argue about it back and forth all night we need someone to decisively judge the matter for us.

[She's completely without shame. This is a point of pride for her and they're both engaged to see it through to the end. All they need now is an impartial third party...]

So what do you say, would you be willing to accept the challenge of determining which of us is right?