[The worst thing Eddie can imagine, in this moment, is breaking down and crying, in public, where people can see him. He knows it would be awful, ugly crying, gut-wrenching sobs, and he can't afford that, not right now. Not when he and Cisco are barely more than acquaintances and it isn't fair to drop that on him, not when he wants to make a good impression. It's just that Cisco's expression is so empathetic, his eyes are trained on him, he's taking this seriously, he's engaged, and Eddie isn't used to being seen like this.
So it's much easier to take Cisco seriously when he says that they're two things, that it's okay for him to grieve for himself, that it doesn't mean he wants to take it back. And then Cisco goes on to explain that even if he did, it wouldn't not count. When Cisco takes his hand and presses it against his wrist, Eddie can feel it, the slow, steady thrum of Cisco's heart, the blood moving through his veins with that steady pulse of life, and it's then that two tears well up in his eyes and spill down his cheeks. Lifting his chin, he glances up at Cisco's face, takes a shaky breath, and wipes at his eyes, a little cross, a little afraid, a little elated, and nods.]
Thanks, Cisco.
[It comes out of him much more easily than anything he's said yet, and he exhales a shaky breath.]
I get it. Hard to swallow, but I get it. Sorry for being so... [He gestures vaguely with one hand.] ...you know. And okay.
[Glancing around, his eyes still red-rimmed, he takes a deep breath and then lets it out, sees someone walking by with a bundle of lanterns, and holds a hand out curiously. Taking one look at him and seeing the red rims of his eyes, the young girl, her skin a distinctly orange tone, with two small horns like a lamb's poking out of her forehead, hands over a little bundle of the ones she's carrying. She's alien, something Eddie's never seen before, but her smile, small and tentative and empathetic, destroys any semblance of a barrier between them.]
Thanks.
[He manages a weak smile, and she moves on, then Eddie turns to Cisco again, taking a deep breath.]
Here. There's a few, we can...we can send one out for Ronnie, too.
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So it's much easier to take Cisco seriously when he says that they're two things, that it's okay for him to grieve for himself, that it doesn't mean he wants to take it back. And then Cisco goes on to explain that even if he did, it wouldn't not count. When Cisco takes his hand and presses it against his wrist, Eddie can feel it, the slow, steady thrum of Cisco's heart, the blood moving through his veins with that steady pulse of life, and it's then that two tears well up in his eyes and spill down his cheeks. Lifting his chin, he glances up at Cisco's face, takes a shaky breath, and wipes at his eyes, a little cross, a little afraid, a little elated, and nods.]
Thanks, Cisco.
[It comes out of him much more easily than anything he's said yet, and he exhales a shaky breath.]
I get it. Hard to swallow, but I get it. Sorry for being so... [He gestures vaguely with one hand.] ...you know. And okay.
[Glancing around, his eyes still red-rimmed, he takes a deep breath and then lets it out, sees someone walking by with a bundle of lanterns, and holds a hand out curiously. Taking one look at him and seeing the red rims of his eyes, the young girl, her skin a distinctly orange tone, with two small horns like a lamb's poking out of her forehead, hands over a little bundle of the ones she's carrying. She's alien, something Eddie's never seen before, but her smile, small and tentative and empathetic, destroys any semblance of a barrier between them.]
Thanks.
[He manages a weak smile, and she moves on, then Eddie turns to Cisco again, taking a deep breath.]
Here. There's a few, we can...we can send one out for Ronnie, too.