[ The kiss surprises Cisco, and his initial thought is that he should pull away. Not because he's afraid of Eddie, or because he doesn't want it - he does, rather desperately. But he knows he's sick and is wary of spreading germs. The only thing that prevents him from moving is the knowledge that it would hurt Eddie, probably very deeply. Besides, if he was going to catch this, he's probably already been exposed to it.
So after that brief flicker of worry for Eddie, he leans into the kiss. There's something so comforting about it - the familiar softness of Eddie's lips, the rasp of his stubble, the warmth of his breath. When Eddie breaks it off to keep talking, Cisco presses their foreheads together, wanting to stay connected to him, close as he can be. ]
Eddie...
[ Cisco feels like he should say something. Tell Eddie the truth. Disclose to him that he really isn't all those things - those beautiful things Eddie thinks about him. He knows that Eddie wouldn't lie, but his words are so antithetical to how Cisco has been thinking about himself. He'd coped with all the shit that went down. Figured out how to keep going and be as close to the person he wanted as possible. But he's never thought of all of it as part of him, and certainly not part of him that someone could see and actually love.
He wishes it were true. Wants it to be true so badly that he doesn't argue, after all. Just nods a few times, eyes brimming with tears. When he can, he says: ]
Okay.
[ Cisco's eyes slip closed and he wipes at his cheeks, pushing the tears aside. The wetness on his cheeks doesn't bother him too much; the whole of him is trembling in the after-effects of panic, and he's much too hot and all damp and achey.
He hopes, somehow, magically, Eddie doesn't catch this. He doesn't deserve it, on top of everything else. Voice very small, Cisco murmurs: ]
I think... when it's morning, I should probably go see a doctor, after all.
[ Cisco sinks down, pressing his cheek against Eddie's chest, and it's too warm clinging to him like this but Cisco doesn't care. Emotional comfort is beating out physical considerations, right now. And he doesn't want to let Eddie go now, or any time soon. Or ever. ]
no subject
So after that brief flicker of worry for Eddie, he leans into the kiss. There's something so comforting about it - the familiar softness of Eddie's lips, the rasp of his stubble, the warmth of his breath. When Eddie breaks it off to keep talking, Cisco presses their foreheads together, wanting to stay connected to him, close as he can be. ]
Eddie...
[ Cisco feels like he should say something. Tell Eddie the truth. Disclose to him that he really isn't all those things - those beautiful things Eddie thinks about him. He knows that Eddie wouldn't lie, but his words are so antithetical to how Cisco has been thinking about himself. He'd coped with all the shit that went down. Figured out how to keep going and be as close to the person he wanted as possible. But he's never thought of all of it as part of him, and certainly not part of him that someone could see and actually love.
He wishes it were true. Wants it to be true so badly that he doesn't argue, after all. Just nods a few times, eyes brimming with tears. When he can, he says: ]
Okay.
[ Cisco's eyes slip closed and he wipes at his cheeks, pushing the tears aside. The wetness on his cheeks doesn't bother him too much; the whole of him is trembling in the after-effects of panic, and he's much too hot and all damp and achey.
He hopes, somehow, magically, Eddie doesn't catch this. He doesn't deserve it, on top of everything else. Voice very small, Cisco murmurs: ]
I think... when it's morning, I should probably go see a doctor, after all.
[ Cisco sinks down, pressing his cheek against Eddie's chest, and it's too warm clinging to him like this but Cisco doesn't care. Emotional comfort is beating out physical considerations, right now. And he doesn't want to let Eddie go now, or any time soon. Or ever. ]
I love you.