“It is.” He replies just as easily, because it is true. But he wishes he hadn’t said that, and he wishes she hadn’t answered- she couldn’t know, just like he couldn’t have known when he stumbled into her past by accident so he can’t be angry at her. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be angry at the situation, at how the vulnerability he’s worked to protect is being forcefully pried away from him and he can’t stop himself.

“Once my father left, my mother had to work to feed me. To maintain me. She died shortly after.” Unless she asks directly and in a way Illya cannot avoid but answer he will absolutely not talk about his mother’s job. “I was recruited very young, they made an exception for me because I showed promise.”

He licks his lips.

“I accepted, because they told me it would clean my father’s reputation. It would make my mother proud. Every time I hesitate, every time I need encouragement, they remind me of my father.”