[he waits, and minsu wonders if the time that it takes john to answer the question is really the answer right there. so he's not surprised. he's not surprised for a couple of reasons.]

I did it.

[minsu looks down the counter before reaching for a cleaning cloth to rub at some nonexistent spot.]

I hurt someone special to me, and he forgave me. But I can't ever let that happen again. I lose everything if I do.

[not just the people that he cares about, but himself. minsu is still very much trying to pull free of what he is. if he slips, he's just a monster again.]

I've made it through a few bad days since then, but I wanna do everything that I can to make sure that I'm always in control too. I don't care how hard it is.

[nothing can be harder than what he had to deal with after.]