Yeah. [ Then, almost like an afterthought: ] I got out. Right before I got here. But once you get out, it's-- you start figuring out there are a lot of things like that. That you lost by never getting them.
[ Kindness, affection. Room to make mistakes, even big ones, to lose control without having to brace for the worst outcome. Trust. And yes, privacy.
He doesn't like being alone, really. He's not used to privacy by any stretch. Not even used to real silence. There was always someone right there with him, or observing, overseeing. This semi-breach in the privacy he's had here, it's almost not even a surprise. It's just something happening.
He's been able to embrace the concept, though, in some ways. Even if only as a concept of something that people are supposed to be able to trust in having, normally, to relax into without thinking about it. Part of him never fully relaxes, never fully trusts in having something like that. So this is maybe another thing he can't personally understand all the way down to the root. The same way that he'll never fully understand what it was like for Poe, having Kylo Ren dig into his mind looking for whatever he wanted. What it's like for Rey to have the Force, and no idea how to handle her own power.
Some things are outside his sphere.
But it's something Cisco understands, and it's something that Cisco relaxed into having, trusted in having. Should have been able to trust in having, from someone that he trusted as a person. And what happened to that was wrong. Finn can make that distinction. He can feel the spark of outrage on Cisco's behalf. ]
That sounds 'super shitty,' too. If you don't mind me borrowing words.
no subject
Yeah. [ Then, almost like an afterthought: ] I got out. Right before I got here. But once you get out, it's-- you start figuring out there are a lot of things like that. That you lost by never getting them.
[ Kindness, affection. Room to make mistakes, even big ones, to lose control without having to brace for the worst outcome. Trust. And yes, privacy.
He doesn't like being alone, really. He's not used to privacy by any stretch. Not even used to real silence. There was always someone right there with him, or observing, overseeing. This semi-breach in the privacy he's had here, it's almost not even a surprise. It's just something happening.
He's been able to embrace the concept, though, in some ways. Even if only as a concept of something that people are supposed to be able to trust in having, normally, to relax into without thinking about it. Part of him never fully relaxes, never fully trusts in having something like that. So this is maybe another thing he can't personally understand all the way down to the root. The same way that he'll never fully understand what it was like for Poe, having Kylo Ren dig into his mind looking for whatever he wanted. What it's like for Rey to have the Force, and no idea how to handle her own power.
Some things are outside his sphere.
But it's something Cisco understands, and it's something that Cisco relaxed into having, trusted in having. Should have been able to trust in having, from someone that he trusted as a person. And what happened to that was wrong. Finn can make that distinction. He can feel the spark of outrage on Cisco's behalf. ]
That sounds 'super shitty,' too. If you don't mind me borrowing words.