Not at all. You're a grade-A badass. I mean- after what you just told me? Fighting off all Snoke's cronies? 'Course I know you can take him on, and do your best to keep him in check. It's just... failsafes, Rey. Everything needs a failsafe, a backup, a just-in-case. People who build spaceships and send 'em off are pretty confident they're gonna be able to keep the passengers alive, right? That believe in them? But that doesn't mean they don't put escape pods. I'm talking about an escape pod. In case-
[ He pauses, swallowing, not even liking to speculate on the scenarios and possibilities. The last thing he wants, though, is for Rey to think he doesn't believe in her capability, or doesn't trust her. So he forces himself to finish: ]
-in case you're busy, or hurt, or- or not around.
[ She was used to relying on only herself; Cisco is used to planning for the worst. It's one of the things they have in common, this distrust that just because things are good or safe now, that they will continue to be so in the future. ]
I know. I know you still care about them, and why you're keeping your distance. For their sake, and I think, maybe your own a little bit, too? I know- how hard it is. When you're wrong about someone. When you think they're better than they are. It's... humiliating.
[ He hadn't planned on saying it, had half-planned on never telling Rey any more about this at all. He's skirted the story, alluded to it, but never laid it out plainly. But now, he thinks, after what she went through with Ren, it might help her. To know she's not the only one who has failed. ]
I've been there. There was this man- Dr. Wells. He meant a lot to me. He was- [ Cisco laughs, and it's dry, humorless, and quiet ] -the first person in the world who ever, like. Cared about me. He was my mentor, you know? My friend. I would've done anything for him. So- so when this other friend of mine, Detective West, told me he didn't trust Dr. Wells, that he thought he was evil, and dangerous, I defended him. Said I knew him better. Said he was wrong.
[ He meets Rey's gaze, smiling in a thin, rueful way. ]
He wasn't wrong. I was. And I found out the hard way.
[ It had been a different form of love, certainly. There had been more deception, less attempted redemption. But all the same, the analogy is a close one. He'd gotten his heart broken, too. Had failed, too, and had to admit it. ]
no subject
[ He pauses, swallowing, not even liking to speculate on the scenarios and possibilities. The last thing he wants, though, is for Rey to think he doesn't believe in her capability, or doesn't trust her. So he forces himself to finish: ]
-in case you're busy, or hurt, or- or not around.
[ She was used to relying on only herself; Cisco is used to planning for the worst. It's one of the things they have in common, this distrust that just because things are good or safe now, that they will continue to be so in the future. ]
I know. I know you still care about them, and why you're keeping your distance. For their sake, and I think, maybe your own a little bit, too? I know- how hard it is. When you're wrong about someone. When you think they're better than they are. It's... humiliating.
[ He hadn't planned on saying it, had half-planned on never telling Rey any more about this at all. He's skirted the story, alluded to it, but never laid it out plainly. But now, he thinks, after what she went through with Ren, it might help her. To know she's not the only one who has failed. ]
I've been there. There was this man- Dr. Wells. He meant a lot to me. He was- [ Cisco laughs, and it's dry, humorless, and quiet ] -the first person in the world who ever, like. Cared about me. He was my mentor, you know? My friend. I would've done anything for him. So- so when this other friend of mine, Detective West, told me he didn't trust Dr. Wells, that he thought he was evil, and dangerous, I defended him. Said I knew him better. Said he was wrong.
[ He meets Rey's gaze, smiling in a thin, rueful way. ]
He wasn't wrong. I was. And I found out the hard way.
[ It had been a different form of love, certainly. There had been more deception, less attempted redemption. But all the same, the analogy is a close one. He'd gotten his heart broken, too. Had failed, too, and had to admit it. ]