[ He's pretty sure it's all either one of them is going to be able to think about, and he's also pretty sure there's gonna be no hiding the fact that it's all either one of them is thinking about.
He tries to calm down, tries to get that sense of helplessness under control. It's so much easier to just be angry. It's so much easier to just drive against things until they break.
Lights in the sky. Lights in the sky, seen throughout the galaxy. Lights he can't think about when he lands on D'Qar, lights he can't think about as he leads Finn down into the base to find Leia, lights he can't think about while they plan the assault on Starkiller.
Lights he can't think about, can't think about, because they'll be all he can think about if he starts.
It isn't until after, when he's changed out of his jumpsuit and into his uniform to address his pilots about the Starkiller casualties. It isn't until they see Rey off and the evacuation starts.
Then he can think about them. And he can't stop.
The faces play out in his mind, squadmates and rivals, Academy friends. Bantu, the Abednedo restaurant owner who'd given him and his Academy squaddies their meals for free. Leneera, the weapons shop and range owner who let them try her newest blasters in exchange for a promise to tell their commanders about them. Kor Sella, Leia's devoted right hand. How many of them were there? How many of them saw death coming?
Their faces play out in his mind during the evacuation and after, as he and BB-8 taunt Hux and draw the fire of the First Order's fighters, blasting their surface cannons and clearing the way for retribution. For every escort shot down, every bomber destroyed, Poe's rage builds into something wild and untamable, a beast that wants blood no matter the cost. A monster that wants the First Order to suffer for every murdered innocent of the system they annihilated.
A monster that only weakens when it sees the bombs drop on the dreadnaught, only comes back into his control as he sees Paige Tico's bomber go down. As he sees Paige die.
It's the First Order's doing. It's the First Order's fault. (It's his, it's his fault, he murdered their bombing fleet and lost half the fleet's guard.)
Helplessness and rage unbridled. That's all he is, all he has, and he wants the First Order to pay. ]
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[ He's pretty sure it's all either one of them is going to be able to think about, and he's also pretty sure there's gonna be no hiding the fact that it's all either one of them is thinking about.
He tries to calm down, tries to get that sense of helplessness under control. It's so much easier to just be angry. It's so much easier to just drive against things until they break.
Lights in the sky. Lights in the sky, seen throughout the galaxy. Lights he can't think about when he lands on D'Qar, lights he can't think about as he leads Finn down into the base to find Leia, lights he can't think about while they plan the assault on Starkiller.
Lights he can't think about, can't think about, because they'll be all he can think about if he starts.
It isn't until after, when he's changed out of his jumpsuit and into his uniform to address his pilots about the Starkiller casualties. It isn't until they see Rey off and the evacuation starts.
Then he can think about them. And he can't stop.
The faces play out in his mind, squadmates and rivals, Academy friends. Bantu, the Abednedo restaurant owner who'd given him and his Academy squaddies their meals for free. Leneera, the weapons shop and range owner who let them try her newest blasters in exchange for a promise to tell their commanders about them. Kor Sella, Leia's devoted right hand. How many of them were there? How many of them saw death coming?
Their faces play out in his mind during the evacuation and after, as he and BB-8 taunt Hux and draw the fire of the First Order's fighters, blasting their surface cannons and clearing the way for retribution. For every escort shot down, every bomber destroyed, Poe's rage builds into something wild and untamable, a beast that wants blood no matter the cost. A monster that wants the First Order to suffer for every murdered innocent of the system they annihilated.
A monster that only weakens when it sees the bombs drop on the dreadnaught, only comes back into his control as he sees Paige Tico's bomber go down. As he sees Paige die.
It's the First Order's doing. It's the First Order's fault. (It's his, it's his fault, he murdered their bombing fleet and lost half the fleet's guard.)
Helplessness and rage unbridled. That's all he is, all he has, and he wants the First Order to pay. ]