riverviewlogs | (no subject)

Wait, so... [Rey is trying to wrap her head around what Finn's experiencing.]

You're connected to more than one person? It varies everyday?

[Because...she doesn't think the Force could do that. Was that how the Force worked? Allowing non-Force users to be connected to others? Had he been connected to Poe? Or, Kylo Ren?! The answers Rey receives only lead to more questions...

Maybe they'll need alcohol for this. That's how she dealt with being connected to Ben again.]

[ The thing screams as its hand hits the ground--or more accurately, it gives a feral shriek that sends goosebumps prickling across Chyler's scalp.

Then it goes abruptly silent as Finn sinks the lightsaber into its head, one clawed hand flailing at him, the other a blood-spitting stump.

Chyler doesn't have the chance to congratulate him.

Purple shards come zipping out of the darkness, thumping into trees, into snow, and into her stomach.

The air shivers, and another creature appears from nowhere, the sword in its hand blazing to life. It's a good three feet taller and a lot heavier built than its friend. Chyler opens fire, thinking she should be hurting more by now, she should be in agony, she's not going to make it, but maybe Finn can. Blood speckles the snow under her.

At least Finn can make it.

(Why doesn't it hurt?) ]

[ It's disorienting. Poe puts out a hand to grab Finn's arm, losing track for a moment of the room around him when confronted with the very familiar setting of a First Order transport. Less familiar is the view from inside a helmet, and the fear, the terrible fear.

Phasma's voice is almost a shock.

FN-2187. She's talking to Finn.

Then it's over, the sight and memories gone, and Poe is still hanging on to Finn.]

Did you see that?

I think so? It's never been more than one at once.

[ Don't worry. The confusion is definitely going both ways on this one. He hasn't been trying to probe too deeply into thinking about it or asking questions. This month is supposed to be about clearing emotional air or something, according to the local holidays. Finn's assumed it must be... a really ill-advised, frustrating aspect of that, somehow.

Alcohol might be one way to do it. ]

Rey, I'll be honest. There aren't gonna be a lot of questions about this that I know the answers to.

Chyler!

[ Okay, so about that... "at least Finn can make it" thought. It's technically very true. There's every possibility that he could push one way or the other, take advantage of the cover fire she's still laying down, maybe make it out.

He historically has a bit of a problem with doing these things, when the time comes for it.

Like watching Rey hit a tree and land, motionless, on the ground. Like keeping a speeder dead on course instead of pulling off. Making it doesn't cross his mind. This-- thing, this giant, whatever it is, being afraid of it doesn't so much as glance off of the outer edges of his mind. There's so much worse to be afraid of. The blood, the purple shards, the look set into Chyler's face. How is she still standing?

He moves towards her instead, that fear a visceral, ugly thing, grips one of her shoulders so hard that his knuckles start to ache. The lightsaber is all but an afterthought, barely a blip on the radar.

He doesn't tell her everything is gonna be okay. There is presumably more of a brief, quiet stream of "no"s while he tries desperately to think of something that he can do about this. ]

[ There it is. Her legs starting to buckle. She braces her feet farther apart, determined this time die standing if she possibly can. ]

Finn, go.

[ Her weapon clicks empty. Now it's her turn to whisper no on repeat, as she finally starts to collapse. Finn's grip is the only thing keeping her upright. She leans against him, still waiting for pain to supplant weakness. ]

Please go.

[ They're hemmed in now. He can't. Those monsters with their weapons closing in. She makes a soft, despairing noise. ]

I'm sorry.

[ Oh cool. By which one means, not cool. Finn doesn't totally get what's going on for a couple of very alarming moments, and he's got the spike in his emotions to prove it.

Things make a lot more sense when Poe speaks up, sort of settle back down onto even ground. As much as they can, in their weird echo-chamber of everything that files through it, heart still racing. He hesitates. Shakes his head. ]

Probably a memory. [ What it was, he doesn't know. That worries him a little. How he can make this any better for Poe, any easier, he doesn't know either. That worries him a lot. He puts his free hand over Poe's, tentatively.

Staying afloat. Between the two of them, they can probably stay afloat. ]

Kind of glad I didn't see it. If I'm being honest. Pretty sure I'd rather just live through everything once.

[ Finn shifts until he has an arm fully around her shoulders, the better to provide that support with. Drops the lightsaber, because there's no point in pretending he'd get anywhere with it. No point in trying to pretend he'd step away to make the attempt, if she wouldn't be leaving with him. ]

Nowhere better to be. It's not your fault.

[ Hunching over slightly, he stretches his newly-freed arm across her front, some awkward mixture of added support and protective embrace. ]

It's okay not to look. You don't have to watch. I've got you covered.

[ Last time all I could do wasn't enough, he remembers her saying once.

He'd give anything to get her out of here alive to try again. ]

[ She turns her face against him, crying silently, feeling the heat of her own blood creeping down one thigh. (It still doesn't hurt, it was agony before, should she be glad? Should she be happy that it's not quite the same?)

All she can think to say is I'm sorry, over and over again.

And then she sits up. Bolts upright, more like, hands clutching at her stomach, feeling nothing but her sweat-dampened shirt. She yanks it up until she can see her scar, healed, the skin around it undamaged. She's in her room in communal housing, and the clock next to her bed says 02:45. ]

Finn.

[ It's insensible, ridiculous, but she needs to know he's okay. She rolls out of bed and hits the ground on her knees, scrabbling upright and dragging on her boots without socks. It doesn't occur to her until she's at the door to run back and grab her communicator, opening her contacts. It's Finn, John, and Marco. She hits Finn's name and heads out the door. ]

Come on, come on...

[Alcohol is needed--greatly needed at this point. Finn won't have a lot of answer--because why would he? Why would this make any sort of sense and it's frustrating more than anything else. But at least, it allowed her to bring up the bond with Kylo Ren. So, there's the silver lining there...

There's a sigh from Rey as she shuts her eyes and tries to keep the confusion from both of them, and her own frustration, under control.]

I don't know who we can go to about this, but if it only lasts a day....we should be fine. If it doesn't, then we'll need to worry. [In the mean time, maybe she could do some research? Or...]

Do you want a drink?

[Not from Cassian and Jyn's own stash, no, Rey was willing to get them something. And food, of course.]

[ There's a relief in waking up, sort of. The same relief that comes after any nightmare turns out to be a nightmare, at a base level. When Finn's eyes fly open, heart pounding so hard it's almost painful, the relief isn't enough to matter.

The logic of it all falls apart the more he thinks about how it unfolded, but it was real, it felt so real. He's up and pulling his own boots and a jacket on without even stopping to think about it, device shoved haphazardly into one of the pockets. Shoutout to Poe if he's not out somewhere else tonight tbh, Finn's outta here with all the grace and dignity of an angry elephant.

When he hears his communicator go off and fishes it back out, the relief of seeing Chyler's name on the display is so much more powerful than anything else could have been. He was just thinking--

No, it's probably not anything good if she's calling at this time of night, is it? Finn answers almost immediately. Not to worry, he sounds very much awake and urgent. ]

Are you okay?

[ SAYING HELLO IS FOR PEOPLE WITH TIME TO WASTE AND NO FEARS TO SETTLE. ]

[ When he answers she’s so relieved that she stops short and almost trips. ] Finn! Thank God—I’m fine, are you?

[ It’s strange, isn’t it, that he’s worried for her? She was the one dreaming. He was never actually in danger.

It’s easy to say that and much harder to believe it. That room with the dead aliens, the man in the woods, the monsters that killed her. It was so real. It was all so real. Logic can’t beat out the feel of that projectile sinking into her stomach, or the way their robed attacker hit the snow in a haze of blood. And that alien—where did she come up with that? Why the sand?

Chyler starts walking again, rubbing her arm from the chill and from goosebumps. ] Where are you?

[ She's fine. Okay, good, first priority secured, she's fine. He doesn't immediately question why she must be calling in that case. Gift horses or something like that. ]

Of course I'm fine. [ Which in his personal opinion is also generally a good thing. That's both of them. They're fine. They're fine. ] I'm just--

[ Oh.

Hm.

Finn takes stock of the fact that he was more or less en route to kick down Chyler's door and make personally sure that she's okay before she called. That might not be the best opener. ]

I'm out. Walking. [ A beat, then: ] Wait, are you out? What are you doing out?

[ IT'S LIKE 3 AM, HE THINKS, POWER WALKING DOWN THE STREET AT 3 AM. ]

Where are you walking? [ There's a tinge of fond exasperation to it. She can feel that, now, knowing that he's okay. They're both okay.

A pause at his question, then: ] Walking.

[ She should probably give him more information than that. ] I just left the communal housing building.

[ Realistically, what other answer did he expect? Finn huffs, something about the exchange leaving him amused in line with any lingering worry. ]

Now you know which way I'm walking. [ He hesitates. ] Is it too early for coffee? I could get us coffee.

[ Finn asks this with all the final-stage acceptance of any person who knows they won't be going back to sleep anytime soon. Sometimes life's gonna be like that. If nothing else, all the time he's spent here has helped him get better at telling when it is like that. ]

I think that's a good idea.

[ Apparently they've mutually decided that sleep isn't happening again tonight, and Chyler is starting to wonder if maybe they're awake for the same reasons. ]

I'll meet you where the coffee is. [ A pause. ] Where is the coffee?

Can't hurt too much to put off worrying until we have to worry about it.

[ And if it gets to the point of having to worry about it-- well, at least they'll both be equally worried by default, he guesses. It's almost a weird comfort. The idea of not being alone in it this time.

Given the choice, he'd rather save them both the trouble of dealing with it, but still. ]

I think I really want a drink. I don't have to be back until later anyway.

[ Ah, insomnia. The biggest mood of all. At least they're in it together.

Finn gives her address, or possibly more in line with the preoccupation and never needing to give its exact address before, the street and the name of the place. He would have asked her to the waffle place, but food isn't sitting well with him as a concept right now.

He will be there, as promised, at some table. With coffee, also as promised. Because he's only the most top quality brother figure. ]

[ Poe gives a breathy little laugh. ] Yeah, you and me both.

[ God, Poe can't even count how many memories he'd hate to relive at this point. There are so many, and they just keep coming. They just keep coming.

(A child and his father, out in under the darkening sky.)

Poe sits down, rubbing his face with both hands. ]

So we just. Wait. [ A quiet groan. ] I hate waiting.

[ Never mind the fact that he doesn't want to invade Finn's past, and that he already wants to punch Phasma in her bucket head for making Finn feel that scared. ]

You've been dealing with this all week?

I could bring something here if you're still...cat sitting?

[Is that a thing? It seems to be a thing anyway. Otherwise, why else would Finn be here?

But he has a point, they can worry about this later. No need to fret over something that could be just in passing...but if it lasts longer, then they'll rope Cisco in this.]

Where are Cassian and Jyn anyway?

[ Chyler comes in and spots him almost at once. It's not like there are a ton of other people getting coffee at 3am.

She sits down across from him, studying Finn carefully, trying to find any indication of injury. ]

You're sure you're all right?

[ Give him like. Three seconds of delay in answering that. The memories are always a little disorienting, but this one almost sets a new precedent. The shift in tone, scenery, in emotion.

Some of them, Finn doesn't recognize on his own.

Some of it he knows better than he'd like. ]

Not sure if it's dealing with it when you don't know what you're doing. But yeah. On and off. It's normally just one way. [ This must be Poe's fault. Wow. He twists his mouth for a moment, thinking. ] If I see something of yours, do you wanna know when it happens?

[ Or what it was, he leaves unspoken.

Good work, Finn, that's a great subtle way to say you just got a memory scoop fresh off the presses. ]

It's not exactly sitting. Just... feeding. I stop by twice a day.

[ It's... well, it's an interesting little thing, that's for sure. Why mess around in someone else's home if he doesn't technically need to be in it for more than a little while? ]

Out on a mission. Not sure exactly where or exactly what they're doing. But Jyn asked me to help with this, so.

[ Shrug. It was kind of nice to get asked, in a weird, Jyn-ish way. Almost like getting a little extended hand of trust. ]

[ They could consider making this a permanent change, just to cut back on the wait time. Something to pitch at the next team meeting. He doesn't seem to mind being studied. All the better to study Chyler right back. He squints a little and everything.

His plan is to try to be casual about this. That plan never works. Go figure. ]

I'm at least as all right as you are. Woke up. Couldn't go back to sleep. [ Finn pulls a face. ] I'm pretty sure neither of us is allowed to say we're great right now.

[Well...okay. He was just checking up on the cat, which was fine. Rey wouldn't exactly know what to do with it, aside from feeding it. Maybe play with it? She wasn't sure how one would play with a cat, and had a feeling Finn was experimenting with how one actually played with it.

She was concerned with what sort of mission Jyn was on. If she was gone, chances were Cassian was too. The two were close, it only made sense they would both go. If they couldn't trust anyone else there, at least they could trust one another.]

Any idea when they'll be back?

[Rey started to make her way to the door, some what expecting Finn to follow, or at least finish up so they could go.]

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As Finn crashes out the door he hears a distant and confused “the fuck??”

sometimes you gotta crash out for your found family okay

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bringin this memory back around GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES

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aww a blast from the past :']

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