As he played the song with Jace, Alec wasn't sure what he meant by it. He didn't want to hurt Jace or to make a fool out of himself if he was mistaken by his parabatai's intentions. He desperately wanted to talk to Magnus, but running way would hurt Jace. And discussing his parabatai's feelings for him while he as at a party with his husband seemed like a way to ensure that the night ended with someone turned into a rat.
"You're right. I didn't think I was good enough. I thought I'd be one of a long list of affairs." He wouldn't say how long that list was, or how many centuries it had developed since he didn't want anyone outside their family knowing Magnus' true age, but Jace would understand the references. "He wouldn't talk to me about immortality or his past." Which had hurt more than Alec had anticipated whenever he vaguely thought of Magnus' centuries of experience. "It wasn't until later that I realized he might not be as confident as he seemed."
Alec was careful of that now, treating Magnus with a gentleness that he hadn't possessed before. That same gentleness was needed with Jace... if Alec was right about the meaning behind the song. Jace's explanation about not thinking they were good enough for each other was one way to interpret the song, but after some of the things Magnus had said, Alec wasn't sure that was the only answer. "I don't worry about it now. Now it's only immortality that's the problem." There was another problem, one related to Robert's infidelity but that was definitely not a subject to discuss after Jace's song choice.
Sighing at Jace's observation, he played a quick little scale up and down the keys. "I know I can't stop you. I learned that when we were kids. I can try to lessen the damage, but you'll do what you think is right." Even when it was hurtful or dangerous. Looking up from the keys, he was surprised by how worried Jace seemed. Like he'd actually lave his parabatai. "Jace, even when I'm angry with you or hurt, I'm not going to leave. Nothing will part us, remember?"
no subject
"You're right. I didn't think I was good enough. I thought I'd be one of a long list of affairs." He wouldn't say how long that list was, or how many centuries it had developed since he didn't want anyone outside their family knowing Magnus' true age, but Jace would understand the references. "He wouldn't talk to me about immortality or his past." Which had hurt more than Alec had anticipated whenever he vaguely thought of Magnus' centuries of experience. "It wasn't until later that I realized he might not be as confident as he seemed."
Alec was careful of that now, treating Magnus with a gentleness that he hadn't possessed before. That same gentleness was needed with Jace... if Alec was right about the meaning behind the song. Jace's explanation about not thinking they were good enough for each other was one way to interpret the song, but after some of the things Magnus had said, Alec wasn't sure that was the only answer. "I don't worry about it now. Now it's only immortality that's the problem." There was another problem, one related to Robert's infidelity but that was definitely not a subject to discuss after Jace's song choice.
Sighing at Jace's observation, he played a quick little scale up and down the keys. "I know I can't stop you. I learned that when we were kids. I can try to lessen the damage, but you'll do what you think is right." Even when it was hurtful or dangerous. Looking up from the keys, he was surprised by how worried Jace seemed. Like he'd actually lave his parabatai. "Jace, even when I'm angry with you or hurt, I'm not going to leave. Nothing will part us, remember?"