That neatly bridges the venn diagram overlap between "things Finn has never been told in his life" and "things Finn never expected to be told in his life". It leaves Finn in the overlap between gratitude and the ice-cold squeeze of guilt around his chest.
Hearing that feels wrong, ill-fitting when he's looking at Slip, who he should have just kept an eye on once they were planetside. And as surely as he knows that nobody would have defected with him, that he'd have been reported for even hinting at it, as surely as he knows the only way he'll ever go back to the First Order is as a dead body, sometimes he realizes he's the only one who's gotten out and can't stand the thought. They all came up the same as he did, there should have-- there should have been something, it didn't have to be him-- he can't figure out why it was.
This moon is probably the safest Finn's been in his entire life, and he doesn't deserve it.
Rey and Poe look at him like he's done so many good things, like he is a good thing, and he wakes up at night feeling like an imposter because he isn't anything at all and he doesn't know what he's doing, and one day that's all gonna come out in the wash. All he's ever been is blind and then scared and then angry.
Finn closes the projector. Pushes down the dull ache in his throat. Ignores it. ]
They caught me out pretty fast, though. Kind of an obvious move, with a blaster inspection. After that, it was either report to reconditioning or almost definitely get blown up busting out a Resistance pilot.
[ No one ever said any plan in Star Wars was made well in advance. Finn looks back fondly on this much, at least. ]
You were the only hope I had of getting out.
[ Sucks that you were there getting tortured, but man. Glad to meet you bud, owe you basically everything??? ]
i dont have the right icon for this but damn if i wont take 5ever to pick anyway
That neatly bridges the venn diagram overlap between "things Finn has never been told in his life" and "things Finn never expected to be told in his life". It leaves Finn in the overlap between gratitude and the ice-cold squeeze of guilt around his chest.
Hearing that feels wrong, ill-fitting when he's looking at Slip, who he should have just kept an eye on once they were planetside. And as surely as he knows that nobody would have defected with him, that he'd have been reported for even hinting at it, as surely as he knows the only way he'll ever go back to the First Order is as a dead body, sometimes he realizes he's the only one who's gotten out and can't stand the thought. They all came up the same as he did, there should have-- there should have been something, it didn't have to be him-- he can't figure out why it was.
This moon is probably the safest Finn's been in his entire life, and he doesn't deserve it.
Rey and Poe look at him like he's done so many good things, like he is a good thing, and he wakes up at night feeling like an imposter because he isn't anything at all and he doesn't know what he's doing, and one day that's all gonna come out in the wash. All he's ever been is blind and then scared and then angry.
Finn closes the projector. Pushes down the dull ache in his throat. Ignores it. ]
They caught me out pretty fast, though. Kind of an obvious move, with a blaster inspection. After that, it was either report to reconditioning or almost definitely get blown up busting out a Resistance pilot.
[ No one ever said any plan in Star Wars was made well in advance. Finn looks back fondly on this much, at least. ]
You were the only hope I had of getting out.
[ Sucks that you were there getting tortured, but man. Glad to meet you bud, owe you basically everything??? ]