[open] it's time to tip it off

[franciscoramon]

who: cisco + anyone!
what: catch-all
when: july
where: anywhere; if you want a starter, please hit me up!
warnings: discussion of sex & drinking

i. tech testing

[ Most of Cisco's work is done within the privacy of his workshop, but there comes a time when he has to leave and find a nice quiet place to actually test some of the tech that he's made. The one time he'd done so outside the wall, things had gone very very badly. So he makes a compromise, finds an alleyway that is within the city but deserted. Sure, he might blow up a dumpster or two and make quite a racket, but he is less likely to get attacked by monsters here, and if anyone disturbs him he can just tell them to clear out.

That's the theory, anyway. But some of the stuff he brought with him might be a bit more powerful than he'd intended... ]

ii. nesting

[ Cisco had been very tentative about his new living situation, at first. He didn't want to get too comfortable, in case Yuri changed his mind, or Eddie got sick of him. But after a few weeks, with no signs that they want him to leave, Cisco starts to think about maybe settling in to his new room. It's fairly stark, still - just a bed, some sheets, and an old couch. All his clothes are still in bags, but the first thing on his list is some dark curtains for the windows. He was never meant to be a morning person.

He can be seen in various shops in the quarantine, looking at furniture, rugs, curtains, etcetera. Cisco's not above asking random strangers for their opinion, either. ]

What do you think, this one or this one?

iii. misc

[ Come plot something! ]

Comments

morning after

[causational]

[It's the lack of oxygen and incredible heat that wakes up Eddie much earlier than usual the day after the acid rain - still buried under blankets, curled up close to Cisco, he's feeling stifled and stuffy, struggling to breathe in the space they're sharing, still cocooned under almost every blanket in the house. Pulling the top of them down, blearily, Eddie squints into the semi-darkness, sees the sunrise barely starting to tint the mountains in the distance, glances at the clock, which reads about four hours before he has to be up.

For a few long moments, he's incredibly disoriented, at least until he pushes back some of the covers and sees the state of Cisco, and himself, and his cheeks go red. The younger man doesn't stir when Eddie shoves most of the blankets off the bed until what's left is a comfortable temperature, and he flops down on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling for a few moments, chewing his lip, registering the hot stickiness of his body, the sore spots on his neck, the vague soreness of his limbs, a little stiff from exertion. The fact that his lower lip still feels slightly swollen.

Too drowsy to overthink, but thinking too much to fall immediately back to sleep, Eddie lies quietly in bed, his bare shoulder pressed against Cisco's skin, his eyes closed, as alternating waves of excitement and dread wash over him. Because this is gonna be tough, and awkward, but he thinks that he and Cisco can work through this, salvage their friendship. And it had been a good experience. Comforting. He'd felt safe. After a while, Eddie manages to drift off again into a hazy half-sleep.

It's about two hours later when he's awakened by his phone buzzing on the side table, and he pushes himself up onto an elbow, blinking blearily at it before picking it up and sliding out of bed, almost tripping over the clothing still twisted around his legs. Managing to get out of the room safely, he speaks quietly, exhales a put-upon sigh as he's called into work, and then hangs up and goes to hop in the shower. Wandering back into his room in a towel, he pauses for a moment to watch Cisco sleep, his hair a mess, his lips just slightly parted, a dark bruise visible on his bare shoulder, licks his lips and tries to push down the fear of what Cisco is going to think or feel when he wakes up, of how their conversation is going to go in the wake of this.

As quickly and quietly as possible, he changes into one of his suits, tugs an extra, light blanket up over Cisco to make sure he stays warm even without Eddie's presence in the bed, and scribbles down a quick note that he leaves on the side table - 'Got called in to work. Should be off at 5:30 tonight. Text me if you want, but we can talk later on. I promise everything is okay.'

And with that, he slides out of the room, biting his lower lip as he lets himself out of the apartment and heads off to work, and then proceeds to check his phone every 10 minutes, dreading and anticipating when Cisco will wake.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco's experience of waking up is very different. He sleeps soundly, only drifting halfway back to consciousness when Eddie's phone buzzes and the mattress creaks as he sits up. He's back asleep moments later, as the shower begins to run, and sleeps through Eddie adding another blanket to him, and leaving him a note.

It is a few hours later when he finally opens his eyes. The room is filled with warmth and bright yellow sunlight - none of the gloom or chill of the previous day. Cisco rolls over in the bed; the sheets are very rumpled and the whole thing smells of sex and Eddie, and what a lovely combination that is. He notices he's alone, but doesn't think much of it: they've been living together long enough for Cisco to know that Eddie isn't one for sleeping in. Probably off jogging or making perfect breakfast or something lovely like that. Cisco can still feel the echoes of the night before in his body, like it's seeped into his very muscles and tendons and bones.

He doesn't even see the note until after he's been awake for twenty minutes or so. At first, his heart leaps, stomach all fluttery with butterflies. Eddie had left a note, just for him. He rolls onto his stomach and reaches out for it, grinning from ear to ear. That grin doesn't fade right away: not after the first time he reads the note. The first part is simple enough, but the last two sentences are... off. He reads them again, trepidation just beginning to creep in and cloud over that bright blissful contentment.

Text me if you want, but we can talk later on. I promise everything is okay.

That doesn't sound like the kind of note you would leave for someone you had gotten together with the night before. The kind of note you leave for someone you've begun something with. It's not sweet nothings... it is damage control. Which doesn't make any sense. Cisco reads and rereads that last sentence; Eddie thinking it was necessary to promise things are okay means, inescapably, that things aren't. Otherwise, he wouldn't need to say it, and certainly not like that.

Cisco had thought it had been so clear. Last night he'd cracked himself open, bared everything he'd been hiding for so long now. He'd said he wanted Eddie, and Eddie had pulled him in close, kissed him in the dark like he was drowning for it. Cisco had thought that was that; they'd both come clean, and now the two of them would be together.

He goes back over everything he can remember from the night before; not just lingering on tiny wonderful glimmering details, as he had when he was still half asleep (Eddie's throaty little moans, the strength of his hands, the rasp of his stubble as they kissed, the look on his face when Cisco told him he was proud of him for not letting the world turn him mean). What had they actually said to one another? They had never really agreed to anything, had they? Hadn't said much of anything at all. Cisco tries to recall their words exactly, but the more that he thinks, goes over it again and again, the more muddled it becomes, the memories getting wrapped up and tangled in his current rising fear. He starts doubting his own impressions, soon enough.

It's clear he'd been wrong about a lot, but just how much? If it hadn't been the moment their friendship shifted to something more, was it just sex? A meaningless tipsy mistake? Was it worse? Had he been exaggerating certain parts in his mind - Eddie's eagerness? Was that final sentence a reassurance because Eddie thought Cisco would be feeling rightly guilty, about pressuring him into something he didn't want all that much?

That thought propels Cisco from the bed. He gathers up his clothes from between then sheets, getting into them with slightly trembling limbs. He hauls all the bedding off - the blankets, the duvets, the sheets, and carries them all in a bundle to the little laundry room. His stomach is in knots. What had he done?! What had he even been thinking?! Of course, Eddie wasn't his boyfriend right now. That was just an immature, selfish fantasy, untethered to the reality of the situation. How could he have imagined otherwise? When he knows, has known this whole time, that it is impossible.

He's glad, then, that Eddie is due to be at work for a while longer. He only makes it one load of laundry in before he sits down on the floor of the little room, back pressed against the dryer, and has a good long cry. Cisco feels a little calmer, after that, wiping his cheeks dry with the heel of his palm and making a decision. He finds his cell phone and about thirty drafts later sends a text to Eddie: ]

how bout i drop off lunch for u? sandwiches ok y/n?

[ Cisco had brought Eddie lunch at work twice before, now, on days when he was absolutely swamped with work. There is precedent, but neither that precedent nor the studiously casual tone of the text are all that subtle. He can't imagine waiting until evening to talk to Eddie, and he can't imagine trying to have this conversation by text. Cisco has to be able to look him in the face, to be extra careful not to do any more damage than he already has.

As he's switching over the laundry, the little plastic star drops out of the tangle of sheets and lands on the back of the washing machine. When Cisco sees it, his chest tightens - first with an almost reflexive delight, and then a moment later, with awful yawning sadness. Impulsively, he reaches up and flicks it with his finger, so it drops back into the tiny dark space behind the washing machine. ]

[causational]

[As hard as he tries to throw himself into work, to lose himself to it and not focus on the mess going on in his mind, Eddie can't quite manage it. He keeps thinking about it, off and on, getting little, intense flashes of things from the night before - how Cisco had felt pushing against him, how it had tasted when he kissed him, how Cisco's hands had felt gently soothing aloe into his burnt hands and then wrapping them, how worried Cisco had been about his feet and frostbite. And every time, every time he loses himself for a moment in some memory, tactile or emotional, he feels an intense rush of guilt. Because it felt good, everything about last night felt good, from the gentle reassurances and encouragements Cisco had spoken to Cisco taking care of him to having sex with him, and he knows it shouldn't have, that it was just a kind of casual, in-the-moment thing, that it wouldn't be fair to Cisco to overthink it. Wouldn't be fair to Cisco to try something and make him yet another rebound that doesn't work out. Cisco means more to him than that.

By the time he gets Cisco's text, he's fought down the fluttery panic, the fluttery excitement, enough that he's been able to apply his logical brain to the situation, to boil it down to the facts: he likes Cisco, he thinks he could probably want to be with Cisco someday, the night before was wonderful and he doesn't regret it. But also, Cisco is his friend, his best friend, here or at home, and he's just come off of a relationship that was already a rebound, and Cisco honestly deserves better than to be the rebound from a rebound. Everything is new, all the wounds of breaking up with Taako are still fresh, and the wounds from everything with Iris are barely starting to heal over and run much deeper. Eddie knows himself, knows that he wants to not be lonely, to feel wanted, to feel like he's part of something, but that's not a good reason to try to rope Cisco into something he might not even be interested in, to trash their amazing friendship, the first really open, honest, and mutually supportive one that he'd been in for a long time.

The truth is, he wants Cisco in his life, however he can. So he has to smooth this over as best he can, because he doesn't want to miss out on having Cisco around, and doesn't want to hurt him.]

Sounds perfect. Thanks Cisco. :) I'll be back at the precinct at 1300.

[The smiley face is probably too much, because it's insincere, and he knows it, with all the emotional turmoil going on in his head, but he doesn't want to fuck things up over text.

Lunch can't come soon enough, but he dreads it at the same time, and when he plops down at his desk at the precinct about 5 minutes before Cisco's due to arrive, his heart is beating too hard, he's trying to keep himself calm, but his cheeks are flushing. Part of him wonders if he could put this off, if he could avoid having to do it, give himself more time to write a graceful script. But obviously, Cisco doesn't want to wait, or he wouldn't have offered to bring lunch.

So when Cisco comes in, Eddie lifts his chin and offers him a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, that gives away how nervous he is more than Eddie would like.]

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco has texted Eddie enough to know that he tends towards being more formal with his texts than Cisco, but that's fairly common. Most of the time he isn't this formal, and Cisco recognizes the artificiality and distance in it immediately. That simple little smiley face has his stomach in awful, sour knots. God, he had really and truly fucked up, this time.

And the worst thing is, that if this situation were just a touch different, Eddie would be the one Cisco would turn to, panicked, looking for advice and support. But there is no one he can talk to about this. Taako is out of the question for obvious reasons; Billy is young enough that Cisco would feel super uncomfortable talking to him about anything even vaguely sex-related. And all his other friendships are too new or too untested. For the first time in a while, he wishes he were back in Central City. He wants Caitlin, or Barry (or... well, not Dr. Wells, but the person he had thought for a while Dr. Wells was).

It really hits home, right then, how invaluable Eddie has become in his life. He's the best friend Cisco has here, and now he's ruined that. Probably forever.

He's got the grim weight of that certainty sitting in his gut as he showers, then goes into the kitchen and starts mechanically preparing a sandwich to bring to Eddie. But maybe... he'll be able to salvage some part of what they'd had before. Maybe...

Cisco has never been great at hiding how he feels, and by the time he shows up at Edde's desk, little paper bag in hand, the pallor is easy enough to see even under his warm brown skin, and his eyes are a little too wide to miss the anxiety flooding him at that moment. His hair is still very wet, clinging a little to the sides of his face, and he sets the bag down beside Eddie, stands with his arms crossed tight and low over his chest, hugging himself without even realizing how easy his body language is to read. It would be obvious from a block away that he's nervous.

When Eddie turns his face up towards him, Cisco's heart trips, clenching with a deep affection that feels closer to despair, right now. He can see how insincere that little smile is - just like that one from the text - and Cisco feels a sudden rush of self-loathing. How horrible, seeing Eddie smile like that, polite and false. It's all so awful and he wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. But it doesn't, and that intense rush of feeling passes quickly. ]

Listen... before you say anything... I just wanna tell you that- it's all good. I mean. You don't have to, um. We don't have to make this- [ And he gestures vaguely in the air between them, as if to indicate their conversation at the moment ] a whole drawn-out thing. You're busy. I'll get outta here in just a second. I'm just- just... the only thing I gotta know is, I didn't hurt you right? Like... pressure you, or...

[ Cisco trails off, bringing a hand up and chewing at a cuticle, eyes darting around at the empty desks around them. No one is near enough to overhear the conversation, but it's easier than looking at Eddie as he asks that question. His heart is racing, and his face feels hot with nerves. ]

[causational]

[A distinct sense of dread settles in his gut as Cisco doesn't sit down, just drops the bag with the sandwich on his desk and crosses his arms tight against the lower part of his chest. Cisco's obviously fresh out of the shower, his hair wet and stuck to the side of his face, looking pale and anxious, and the guilt in Eddie's gut stings like salt in a fresh wound. It's abruptly obvious to Eddie that he's hurt Cisco, that Cisco is suffering because of what had happened, and he's immediately kicking himself for having caused that. Ducking his head, he avoids eye contact for a few moments and his smile fades, he licks his lips nervously.

He's about to speak when Cisco does for him, reassuring him that it's all good and that they don't have to make this a drawn-out thing, and Eddie feels the pit of his stomach sink, because that means that he was totally misreading the situation, and what could he have been thinking, that maybe Cisco would want more from this and not less? The whole thing was probably a terrible mistake, as far as Cisco is concerned, something he regrets, something he wishes he hadn't done, and Eddie suddenly feels like he's going to have to scramble to salvage the relationship.

So when Cisco finishes speaking, Eddie is already shaking his head, jerking his chin up to look at the younger man.]

No. Of course not. You didn't...no. I... [A momentary pause while he tries to get his thoughts together.] I wanted it right then, it felt good, you were good, I just...I guess I'm mostly worried that we did something that's going to screw up our friendship. And I really, really don't want that. You're my closest friend here, anywhere, honestly, and I don't want to...let something like what happened ruin that, you know?

[A pause, and then he swallows a little hard.]

Did I do anything to hurt you, or...or pressure you?

[franciscoramon]

[ A tiny bit of the tension in Cisco's shoulders relaxes when Eddie answers 'no, of course not', and Cisco can tell that, unlike the smile, that is sincere. So, at least, the worst case scenario is not true. That's a relief, however small.

The feeling of relief is short-lived, however. After that pause, Eddie reassures Cisco that he had wanted it 'right then', and it doesn't take a genius to connect the dots. He'd wanted it then, past tense. He doesn't want it - or Cisco - now. Not under the light of day, sober and out in the open.

And it's all starting to feel awfully familiar. Cisco has had this happen before - not with anyone he was as close to as Eddie, but last night and this morning are looking like they fit a pattern he knows. There had been a handful of people who were happy to want him for some hot, messy, wonderful fumbling in the pitch dark, somewhere hidden away, after they've had a bit to drink. Who would say his name the way Eddie had said his last night, when he was close to finishing. Those same people would pretend not to even know Cisco, when they saw him in class or while he was at work; they only wanted him if he could be a secret, and only if he didn't talk too much or ask for anything more. ]

You're my closest friend, too.

[ Cisco interrupts to say that, right after Eddie declares the same, and it's easy - easier than the text or anything he'd said before. That much is true and he wants no confusion over it. He falls silent again when Eddie says he doesn't want to let "something like what happened" mess that up. Cisco feels his throat closing him. Eddie just keeps talking about it like it was an Incident, capital I. A mistake to be accounted for. It hadn't felt like a mistake, to Cisco. Not until he'd read that note and realized Eddie thought it was.

When Eddie asks if he'd done anything to hurt Cisco, a reflexive voice of self-pity in the back of his head says: well, of course you did. you decided you didn't want me back. But that's a stupid thought: immature, entitled, horrible. And besides, Eddie is talking about last night, not this morning. So Cisco pushes it away, swallows hard, shakes his head. ]

Of course not. I mean, I... look, we both know I started it.

[ He says it as lightly he can, mimicking the way a kid would talk about some kind of stupid playground fight. Cisco had started it, therefore he is responsible. The instigator. The joke falls flat, and Cisco's chest hurts. He smiles, or at least, imitates one, as bright and wide as he can make it. Probably not all that convincing, when his vision is going blurry with tears he's absolutely not going to shed. He's glad, then, that he'd cried so much earlier in the morning: it's the only thing that makes it possible for him to win the fight against the onrush of tears. He blinks a few times and shoves down the sadness into a neat, compact little ball that stays internal, and contained. ]

You don't gotta worry. I'm not gonna... You don't owe me any... [ Cisco pauses, shoulders slumping a little. How pathetic he is, living a life where he has to reassure people that they don't owe him any love. He is sure that the strain in Eddie's expression is his discomfort, thinking that he's obligated into something now. ] No strings, no weirdness. We're friends. Nothing's screwed up. We're good. It's all good.

[ If he says it enough times it has to be true, right? That's how it works?]

Anyway, uh. Thanks for, um, keeping me from freezing to death, and... yeah. Okay. So... that settles that.

[ He has to get out of here. Cisco can just tell that if this conversation goes on any longer he really is going to start crying, and that thought is unbearable to him. He cannot tolerate being that pathetic, that he cries in public because he got the wrong idea and a cute boy didn't like him back, after all. Cisco pushes the bag with the sandwich closer to Eddie, says in a sudden tangent: ]

It's turkey, tomato, and avocado. I toasted it for you so you should eat it before it gets soggy. Also I gotta head back home soon, I should've said before, I... got the laundry going.

[causational]

[Unfortunately, without all that time to overthink, Eddie's not quite put enough thought into how he's wording things - 'right then' wasn't meant the way Cisco takes it, but Cisco isn't making it clear yet, how he feels. So it goes over Eddie's head, he still thinks that Cisco thinks it was a mistake, that they're on the same page about salvaging their friendship from something that might have ruined it if not handled well. It doesn't occur to Eddie that he's not handling it well as it is.

Cisco's smile is painfully fake when he tries to joke about starting it, and almost immediately, without thinking much, Eddie is babbling, trying to soothe whatever is making that smile so false and heart-rending.]

Hey, hey. Look, that...what happened, that was a two-way street, okay? If you wanted it and I wanted it, that means...means we both did. I just don't want it screwing things up, I want you around, in my life. I kind of need you.

[But Eddie's words don't seem to help, and it becomes immediately obvious when Cisco carries on, his eyes red-rimmed and wet, says that Eddie doesn't owe him, that Eddie misread the situation, that maybe there's something more to Cisco's feelings. Suddenly his heart is in his throat, and every fibre of him aches to just say it's okay, that Cisco shouldn't beat himself up, that Eddie does want him as more than a friend. To make Cisco smile and stop looking so destroyed, so shaken, so pained. To make himself feel better, to feel wanted, to feel close to someone.

But he hasn't forgotten the whole morning of rationalizing to himself why that's a terrible idea. Why Cisco deserves better than to be a sad rebound that won't work out, and risk losing everything they've become to each other. Why it's better to wait and see what happens, to go on being friends and opening up to each other and making sure that whatever they feel is real before trying that. So he speaks, after a moment, but speaks very carefully, reaching out gently to catch Cisco's wrist when he pushes the bag with the sandwich toward him.]

Cisco...hey, come on. Look at me? Please? I wanted last night, and I'm...this is hard. I don't know how to say what I'm thinking. I still want... [A pause, and he shakes his head, holds his breath for a moment, and then looks up at Cisco again, trying to catch his eyes.] I want you in my life. I liked last night. I like you, a lot. But right now...right now, beyond friendship, I can't give you anything worth having. You know? After Iris, and then rebounding and dating Taako and how that turned out...you deserve better than being another one in a string of rebounds. I need time, but I also need...I need you around, okay? Please?

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco had been all set to turn and leave, even if Eddie voiced a half-hearted request for him to stay (which he might feel obligated to do, after all, even if he really wanted him gone). But he hadn't braced himself for Eddie reach out to him like that, careful, his thumb brushing against the soft skin on the inside of Cisco's wrist. Predictably, he thinks of the night before, how those same hands had felt in the dark, moving over him. It's enough to stop his momentum, make him wait and really listen.

Eddie's eyes are so impossibly blue, and Cisco can't look away from him. When Eddie says he wants Cisco in his life, his heart is immediately in his throat, and for just a second there is a flicker of awful, naked hope on his face. The only problem is Eddie doesn't stop there: he keeps going, because of course, wanting Cisco comes with an inevitable "but...".

But Cisco fights against the urge to shut down, shut it all out. He listens. It occurs to him that this explanation could be a strategy - a soft no, Eddie's way of letting Cisco down as gently as possible. He's about 50/50 on that. But either way, the truth of what Eddie's saying is impossible to deny. It's almost worse, knowing that Eddie's reasons are so mature and wise and right. Put simply, Eddie tells him something he should have already realized: that being with Cisco wouldn't be good for Eddie, right now. That it might actually even be bad for him.

Eddie frames it just right, to get in between Cisco and his own feeling of wounded rejection. He says that he needs time, needs Cisco around as his friend, and how could he possibly complain, or do anything to get in the way of Eddie getting what he needs? More than wanting Eddie, Cisco wants Eddie to be happy - not just temporarily, shallowly, but entirely. He draws in a too-sharp breath that is the tiniest bit quavery, but he nods, and looks a little less like he's about to break down. ]

Yeah. Yeah, of course. I get that.

[ His voice isn't like before - loud, falsely casual, hurried. His words are softer, and there's deep care behind them. ] I'm here. Any time you need me, okay. And- and you know I'm not going anywhere. So...

[ Cisco has always been an optimist. All his life, no matter how bad things got, he could almost always find a silver lining, an upside. And now, even through the thick awful fog of hurt, there's a tiny, but undeniable, speck of hope. Maybe... maybe Eddie will change his mind. Maybe 'right now' wouldn't last forever, and the two of them...

He can't let himself think it all the way, but that hope remains, nonetheless. Tiny, and fragile, but fixed. ]

[causational]

[That look of raw, vulnerable hope on Cisco's face almost undoes Eddie. For a few long moments, he wavers, back and forth, between wanting to give Cisco what he wants and doing what's best. He's quiet for a few long moments, his chest tight, his heart beating too hard and his breath coming too shallow, too fast. Because it isn't just about what's good for Eddie, in his mind, it's about what's good for Cisco too. Cisco doesn't need a boyfriend who's wounded and using him just to plug up a lonely hole, Cisco needs someone who's devoted to him and healthy enough to invest in him, completely, without any space in his heart for anyone else. And that means that Eddie needs to get over Iris, get over Taako, before he can even consider being something special for Cisco.

It's a bit of a relief when Cisco takes that sharp little breath, and nods, and Eddie can see the hurt recede, just a little. Can see Cisco recovering, easing away from the edge of losing it. Gently, Eddie squeezes Cisco's wrist, and then stands up as Cisco promises that he's not going anywhere, that he'll be here if Eddie needs him, and, overwhelmed with emotion for a moment, Eddie takes his other hand too, eyes on Cisco's face.]

I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'll be here for you too, any time you need me. To help with your powers, or...or if you need support or an ear or arms to help get your new furniture up the stairs or...anything, Cisco. Okay?

[For just a moment, he pauses, and then, quietly.]

Can I hug you? Is that okay?

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco wants to argue, even opens his mouth to do so - Eddie hadn't hurt him, he'd hurt himself and just used Eddie as the tool. Hurt himself when he threw himself at Eddie, and hurt himself when he just assumed it meant more than it did. But nothing good could come of it, so the words die in his throat, all except: ]

Okay.

[ And he means it, at least for the most part. He's not naive enough to kid himself that things will just immediately go back to normal. He can already see it: they're going to be weird and over-cautious with one another, to both feel guilty and hurt and confused. They'll try to hide it, and neither of them will do very well. And... even knowing Eddie's reasons, even understanding fully with his rational brain that Eddie is making the right call, it's going to take a little bit of time for Cisco to build back his trust and openness. But Eddie is his closest friend. He's still more likely to come to him for help than anybody else.

The request to hug him has Cisco's throat closing up once more, and he actually hesitates before he answers with a tiny nod. ]

[causational]

[Eddie can see it all over Cisco's face, that argument building up in him, and he's glad when Cisco lets it dissipate, because it means that Cisco is accepting it's not all his own fault, that Eddie had something to do with this, that Eddie is also at fault. At this point in their friendship, Eddie knows Cisco well enough to guess at what's going through his head, that he's blaming himself and completely absolving Eddie.

When Cisco nods, Eddie drops his hands and steps forward, pulls Cisco against him and hugs him tight, one arm around his shoulders, the other around his waist, squeezing gently. And, quietly, impulsively, he speaks in a low voice, just loud enough for Cisco and him and no one else.]

You didn't do anything wrong, okay?

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco had planned on hugging back, but not too much; Eddie needs him to be a friend right now, and not more, and Cisco can respect that. It's going to take some self-policing, but he's willing to do that. The last thing he wants is to ruin this fragile peace by mooning at Eddie too obviously, making him feel guilty at best, or disgusted at worst.

But when Eddie hugs him, it's like some kind of chemical reaction that entirely bypasses his brain; the tension that's been holding Cisco uncharacteristically stiff-backed drains away and he relaxes, leans against Eddie, hands coming up to hang from the back of Eddie's suit jacket. He shuts his eyes, tells himself that this is enough. This is more than enough.

He doesn't have a chance to think about Eddie's little murmured reassurance: a second or so after he murmurs it, another officer comes in, walking fast, clearly harried and busy. He doesn't say anything, but he coughs loudly enough to startle Cisco, his eyes flying open. He pulls away from Eddie like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't, pushes his wet hair back and jokes: ]

Except keep you away from your work. I- I gotta go. You're busy, and... laundry. [ Cisco manages a smile - tinged with sadness but genuine - and adds softly: ] I'll see you at home.

[causational]

[Eddie can feel it, the way Cisco relaxes and melts into him when he hugs him, closes hands into the back of Eddie's jacket to cling to him, and Eddie can smell his wet hair. It takes him back to last night, to the way Cisco's hair had smelled while he moved against him, makes him wonder if Cisco still has that bruise at the back of his shoulder because he knows he still has a dozen tiny kiss bruises on his own throat.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Eddie takes a sharp breath, and when that officer walks by and clears his throat, Eddie pulls out of the hug regretfully, looking down at Cisco while he pushes his hair back and jokes at him. Eddie manages a smile that's genuine and reaches his eyes as he lets go of Cisco.]

I mean, you're going to have to force me to care about missing work, but...

[A pause, and then-]

Thanks, Cisco. For the sandwich, and for...everything. See you tonight.

[And with that, Cisco is gone, and Eddie sits at his desk, pulls out the sandwich, and tries to just turn his brain off for the rest of his shift.]