riverviewlogs | introductory mingle: MEMORIA

Entry tags:

introductory mingle: MEMORIA

who: everyone in Riverview!
what: Introductory Log and Memoria Commemoration
when: May 1st - May 8th
where: Anywhere around the city.
warnings: please put any necessary warnings in the subject lines

memoria

In the days leading up to May 1st, residents new and old will notice preparations beginning, a flurry of activity getting the city ready for the upcoming celebration: Memoria. A more solemn celebration than Sampremi or the Flower Festival, Memoria is a week-long time of remembrance for those lost in the Great War and the epidemic that decimated Riverview Quarantine's population 10 years ago. Memoria traditions include lighting lanterns for the dead, telling stories about lost loved ones or lost homes, eating meals with loved ones, and a special gathering to send floating lanterns down the river in honor of those lost.

a solemn commemoration of those lost

While the main city-wide event associated with Memoria is the floating of lanterns down the river on the evening of May 8th, the holiday is generally seen as a time of reflection on and appreciation of things that have been lost - people, homes, cultures, and planets. It is also a celebration of the things that remain. Many locally-owned shops will host displays of culturally-significant food, and will hand out informational flyers sharing the unique customs of their own homeworlds. There is a heavy emphasis on sharing time with family, friends, and lovers, and anyone who is able to will cook meals or treats for loved ones, or at least purchase them something good to eat.

i. hanging lanterns

Throughout the entire week of Memoria, residents will be hanging lanterns around the city. Lanterns are generally placed in greater number in places of passage - streets, bridges, and all alongside the train lines are particularly well-decorated, as are any trees alongside paths, and most homes and businesses have a profusion of lanterns around their doors and windows. This tradition is twofold; some people believe that the lanterns are hung in these places in order to guide the spirits of the dead back to those who still love them, other people believe that the lanterns are to give light for living loved ones to find their doors in times of darkness...many people believe both.

No matter what your character might believe, you can be sure they will find themselves offered a lantern for free from various businesses or friendly citizens passing by, and invited to hang it before the sun sets, or they may be handed a bundle of lanterns and asked to help share them with others.

ii. sharing life

Throughout the city, characters will find groups of people gathering to share hot drinks and talk about their loved ones lost, their homes and planets, or their experiences during the Great War and the epidemic. Anyone who has lost someone, who has fought to survive, who is feeling cut off and homesick, is welcome to sit and share their story. If your character chooses to sit and to share their story, they will find that people will gather to listen, will generally be respectful of the telling, and may share their own similar experiences in return. This is an excellent time to air grief in an environment where most people understand and respect grief, and a good time to deepen the connections to others around you, to understand them better.

There is also a very large focus on cooking or purchasing meals or treats for loved ones during Memoria, with many people taking meals with everyone they care about during the week of the holiday. Some go the extra mile and will hand out baked goods (usually chocolate or cinnamon), packets of candy, or other little treats to acquaintances, especially if they would like to form a closer bond with them. This is a great time for characters to reach out to someone they would like to get to know better with a surprise treat!

iii. floating of the lanterns

On the evening of May 8th, just before sundown, many of the city's residents will head toward the banks of the river, where they will light lanterns in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, in honor of their dead loved ones. The types of lanterns vary wildly, based on personality (either of the person floating it or the person they are honoring), culture, and many other factors. Some lanterns are very simple, others are incredibly complex, but the one common feature they all have is that people write on the shades of them - they write about their feelings for their loved ones, their wishes for their relationships and friendships, a memory from childhood or home, or even just lines of poetry or lyrics from songs that express something they miss, or something that hurts them.

Once those emotions are written on the lanterns, the lanterns are set free, floating down the river in the darkening evening, in a cathartic gesture shared by most residents of the city. Waves of lantern floating will start around 7 pm and continue until the sun rises on the morning of May 9th.

iv. roommates or wildcard

Feel free to use this prompt to set up headers for a communal floor, or threads open to roommates for the purpose of getting to know each other. Or if you have an idea for a prompt that isn't in this list, set during Memoria, feel free to write it up!

visual inspiration

click on thumbnails for larger view

Credit: image i: glowconcepts, image ii: by trenchmaker, image iv: cherryorange; image iii: found uncredited on Pinterest - please let the mod know if you find credit!

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[ When he first found out what this celebration was about (life and life passed), Tony had no real inclination to go out and be a part of it. He would celebrate (mourn) in his own way, like he often did, perhaps making something in the office in honour of those that had passed, both in Riverview and back at home. There were still some losses that were too raw for him, losses that he didn't want to think about, not here when the only thing that could have driven him forward (getting Danvers to understand) wasn't available to him.

So, of course, he finds himself wandering down to the river, hands shoved in the pocket of his slacks (honour and remember them, get out of your grease, Stark) with a faint, sad smile on his face. He doesn't pick up a lantern for Rhodes, doesn't send one off for Banner, but he thinks of them (of a Steve that doesn't look at him with distrust, of Jennifer with her brilliance, of Pepper with no-nonsense smiles and sass) while he wanders, quiet and observant.

He isn't surprised to see Steve, drawing on a lantern with the focus that Tony knew so well. It makes his smile twitch a bit, fondness he thinks, as he moves up to the blond to stand just behind him, quiet but there.]

Words were never your strong point, Steve. Besides, isn't a picture worth a thousand of them or something? I think that's fair trade.

[ Steve hears him approach. Even if he didn't catch the tell-tale sound of Tony's footsteps that comes up behind him with the particular light rustle of slacks he knows all too well, he can almost feel the other man's presence as he gets close. There's something about Tony, a certain nameless factor that Steve could never pinpoint but can never ignore. It has built up over all their years working together, and as soon as Tony comes within range, he just knows that the presence behind him is Iron Man.

He finishes his drawing before he looks up. It's a simple sketch of the original five Avengers, the ones that pre-dated him, standing in a line up that he probably took from one of the photographs of the team. Janet hanging off of Hank's shoulder and the Hulk sulkily standing in the back, as if he were trying to hide behind the others even though he was always impossible to miss. Tony's armor is thicker, with rougher angles but the same recognizable design. Steve brings out the details in contrast shadows smudged in with his thumb. Even Thor, whose look hadn't really changed much other the years, is a face from the past. His winged helmet and trademark hammer held high, portraying innocence and optimism that all of them had represented to Steve in those early days. ]

I would like to offer them some meaningful words. Everyone deserves that much.

[ He's already done a few sketches of other old acquaintances as well. Soldiers from the front lines old and new, Defenders, mutants, Heroes for Hire. Jack Monroe. There are too many to give each their own lanterns, but Steve settles for group shots. Quick scenes he's not wholly satisfied with. ]

And sometimes words have more impact.

Edited 2017-05-11 03:53 (UTC)

[ Memory. Remembrance. Life gone too soon and deaths still too sharp. Tony isn't sure if he respects a city-wide celebration like this or begrudges it. It is a lot easier to quietly deal with grief when there aren't reminders everywhere, and Tony isn't sure he has healed enough to be good about all of this. So maybe it works out for the better that he finds Steve, that he ends up in the presence of the one person that has been there for him more often than not (sometimes as the one who helped Tony grieve, other times as the one that Tony grieved over).

The image on the lantern, the familiar outline of figures that have something catching in Tony's chest. It's a dull ache, something at the combination of heroes and compiled by the innocence in their faces that Tony knows they will never see again. There are many things to mourn over, he knows this, but it is perhaps that optimism, that honest understanding about the world and where things could be fixed or bettered, that naivety of a world that could be saved, being turned to ash that Tony mourns the most.

Meaningful words might be good, but Tony thinks that what Steve is offering right now means far more.

Stepping close, Tony clasps a hand on Steve's shoulder; solid and firm but gentle.

He doesn't take his eyes from the images.]

Sometimes they do, if they are the right words, but actions can speak louder. [ There is fondness in his tone there when he tips his head to the side, sliding a sliver a smile to Steve.] So I have been told.

[ The images of the past are just images now, but to Steve those days were what brought him back from death. The feeling of isolation and pain, even after he'd gotten oriented and learned what had happened, had left him without a place or a home. It was the Avengers that had given him a chance at life again. The drawing scratched out in charcoal doesn't do them justice. The image is imperfect and raw, with designs and faces that haven't looked that young in ages. Steve holds onto that memory and tries to recreate it as best he can, because the image is all he has left of those days. ]

Sometimes they can.

[ He murmurs his response, still looking at his work with a critical eye of disappointment. He frowns, raising his gaze to Tony's face as he catches his gaze and tries to find that familiar light in it. The man that looks back should be the same one that he fought alongside countless times before. He wants to believe that man is still there, but ever since they came to Riverview, it seems like Steve doesn't know most of the people he used to.

Those days are just snapshots in his mind and the people that have replaced them don't sound or look the same, and the space between them seems a lot larger than it used to be. Part of that is because some of them are from entirely different worlds, but even Stephen and Tony seem to have lost something. ]

Sometimes they don't fix everything. It's too bad I haven't always found the right words when I needed them.

[ The images might be raw, but it is clear when you look at the drawings that there is a story there. That there are many stories there, laced with emotions both good and bad. It is a heavy thing, seeing the youth and the innocence in the faces that are so familiar, and it makes something settle against Tony's breastbone as he hears the way Steve speaks. Tony doesn't always understand the need to look at the past the way that Steve does, to be rooted in times that are gone no matter how wonderful they were, and yet--

Maybe he missed those times too. Those people. The laughter. The trust.

When Steve looks up, catches his gaze, Tony has a hard time holding it. Times like this, when the past and the present and the future are so close together, he really remembers how much as been lost in the fight to secure the future. How much they all have lost in their fights, and maybe that was the point of this whole event. Put everything in perspective and remind you that nothing is for free.

Tony still isn't sure if it was all worth it.

His face shutters as he looks to the lanterns, trying to ignore the tightness in his throat.]

You always tried, that has to count for something. [ There is another tight smile, echoes of choices made poorly and guilt in Tony's eyes as he squeezes Steve's shoulder before dropping his hand. He doesn't leave though, stays standing there, eyes somewhat unfocused.] Sometimes even the right words aren't enough.

No, sometimes they're not. Sometimes there aren't any right words.

[ Steve's stiff, serious look softens as Tony drops his hand. He might not be the same man Steve left when he died, but they had been through a lot at that point. People change. Events change everyone. He can't keep hoping to wake up one morning and see a familiar smile on faces he once knew. It's like skipping time again; he's been through it before. He should be comfortable with this by now.

But as Tony drops his gaze to the images drawn on the paper screens, Steve finds it hard to breathe. He stands still, watching his old friend look at his work with a distant, almost broken gaze and fights to swallow past the tightness in his throat. Coming back doesn't get easier. ]

They're good people. They deserve to be remembered.

[ The warmth makes it back into Steve's voice as he raises his hand to hold Tony's arm. ]

Maybe they aren't around anymore the way they used to be, but they saved my life. I owe them this much. And there's someone else I owe too.

[ Tony smiles sadly at that, giving Steve a sidelong look.] No, sometimes there aren't. Sometimes there isn't a right anything and fuck, if I don't hate that.

[ Because when it all comes down to it, that is what they are after in the end; the right thing. It is rarely the easy thing, and rarely a thing that is easily defined. God knows he and Steve have butted heads more than once seeking out the right thing, have bent and broken and reforged themselves many times because of it.

Tony knows that they will never be those faces on the lantern again, that some of those faces are gone in more ways than even Steve knows and--

They deserved to be remembered.

Those words hit hard, echoes of Tony's resolve cracking can be heard in the shakiness of his breath, the way he trembles a little under the warmth of Steve's hand and words. When he speaks, his words are rough, wet sounding even as he tries to smile.]

Yeah, yeah they do. [ Tony pauses, fingers moving to ghost along the lines of Jan's face without smudging, at the Hulk in the back, and he opens his mouth to say 'to the Avengers' when Steve continues. The genius blinks a few times, looks back to the lantern before: ] I think there is more owing to you, Steve, than you to others.

[ There's a voice that comes from Steve's throat that might be a laugh. It's a low, soft rumble that bubbles up when Tony complains. It's so familiar, hearing the genius grumble about not having all the answers, and it reminds Steve of better times. Times when he thought they understood each other. Maybe they didn't. Or maybe they didn't understand as much as they believed, but Steve still thinks there was some connection there that reached deeper than either of them realized at the time. They were friends in a way he took for granted and is only regretting that now.

He always expected Tony to take his side. In the end, he had always assumed he would come back. ]

We were your team. You brought me back then, all of you, and I owe you for that. And for Bucky.

[ Steve says that in his usual serious sincerity that he pulls out when he really wants to make a point. ]

He's happier than I've seen him in a while, and it's because you gave him a purpose. You didn't let him slide back into the darkness, and I can't repay you enough for that. This celebration might be for honoring the dead, but there's a lot to be said for those who helped keep the living alive.

This light is for you too, Tony. And for me. When it goes to the river, maybe some things should go with it. Bucky's a good Cap. You've all had time to start over, and- Change isn't so bad.

[ Right? He can't help the slight feeling of loss and doubt in his own words. But if everyone else has moved on, maybe he should try to start. ]

[ And maybe this was why Tony was always so staunchly focused on the future, on what could be made better; because when presented with the past, all I could see was how he had failed. How he misread a situation or acted without really considering all the options no matter how many equations and variables he thought of. How he might have brought them together as a team, but also broke them apart more than once.

The past, Tony thinks, is painful, and maybe he needs to look back more often. A reminder of what happens when the future fills your vision to blindness.

He shakes under the weight of Steve's sincerity, hand coming up to cover his mouth as he looks at the lanterns on the river. When he speaks, the words are muffled, but it's clear that he is barely holding back tears.]

I didn't do anything for Bucky aside from show him what he was worth. He had forgotten in his grief, I owed him -- you both, that much. [ If Bucky didn't want to pull himself up, he wouldn't have, and Tony doesn't think he gets the praise that belongs on the shoulders of a man who has been through so much and still manages to be good.

When Steve tells him that the lantern is also for him, he covers his face a moment, dragging his hands along the lines of his beard, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. Tony sees it for what it is; a bridge. A way to move past what has happened and Tony vows not to burn this one.]

Bucky's a great Cap, he learned from the best. But-- you're right. [ He turns to Steve, eyes water bright ] Maybe it is time to let some things go. I miss you, Steve. I really do.

[ There is a lot to be said about Tony's future. Even when Steve had first woken up in the modern world, he had been dazzled by how everything was so fast an bright and different. He had been thrown by it. Tony's future had shown Steve a whole new set of possibilities, and it hadn't all been bad then. He had embraced that world with excitement. The chance to see the country progress in ways he hadn't imagined seeing, and the way everyone had been willing to take him back even after he had vanished for so long. And then the veneer had worn off, as it was bound to do, and Steve had grown more jaded.

But the past was a reminder to him of how the future felt. When he saw it for first time, Steve's life had changed. And he tries to keep that feeling close. ]

You gave him a better choice. It was one I hadn't thought of, and I don't think he had either. You helped him.

And he is a great Cap. He deserves it. Bucky doesn't take it for granted or forget what he stands for. I'm glad he was able to take up the shield.

[ The tears Tony tries to wipe away still remain when he looks up, and Steve's heart clenches a bit as he sees them. As much as the two of them have fought and as angry as he has gotten at the man, he still aches when he sees how deeply life has affected his friend. They might have grown apart. Maybe it was for the best. But Steve will never willingly leave Tony behind. ]

I'm here. [ And not going anywhere. ] Will you send this one off with me?

[ For someone who adored the future as much as he did, Tony found himself resenting the changes that it brought. Not all of them, perhaps not even most of them, but-- there were things that had happened, choices that had been made, that left hollow spaces in Tony's chest. Graves that held bones and ghosts of the past, things Tony didn't realize he missed until it was too late.

Maybe this was what he deserved, this emptiness in his ribcage, for all the choices he made wrong, all the times he wasn't enough, for--

There is a shaky exhale, muffled by the hand over his mouth as Tony stares with still burry eyes at the past, bright and innocent, done in charcoal on a lantern. He finds himself huffing, a noise that tries to be a laugh but falls short.]

You both deserve it, Steve. You always stood for what you believed was right, and I always admired you for that.

[ There is another watery smile, a shaky breath as Tony tries to hold himself together a little more. Not that he feels he needs to with Steve, but because he needs to pay attention to this right now. This reminder of consequence that he had been trying to forget, had been trying to wrestle with ever since Ulysses. Since long before that honestly.

You make choices, good or bad, and you pay for them.]

If you will have me here with you, I would be honoured to, Steve.

[ Steve doesn't answer the first part of Tony's response. His eyes say what he doesn't, showing his doubt in the way Tony says that they both deserve the shield. He did deserve it at one point, it's true, but the recent issues that they've all had proved to him once he got back that maybe it was better to have Bucky take the mantle from him. He's been at it so long that even Steve realizes that something has changed in him. He isn't what he used to be when he first started.

And there's no good way to respond to Tony with his eyes flooded by tears that Steve knows were caused, at least in part, by him. He just picks up his lantern and puts his other hand on Tony's back leading him to the riverside. ]

Come on.

[ He finds a good launching spot, one set apart from some of the others so he doesn't block anyone else's lanterns as they float downstream. Then he stops, looking into the current. ]

You do too, you know. You do what you believe is right. Even if everyone else tells you you're wrong.

[ There is no way to live and not change, that is something that Tony knows very well. Change is the way of the future, the only way that we can move on. But you have to be able to live with the changes that are made, with who you become with all of the changes and that-- well that was something that was a lot harder to do. While Tony did believe that Steve was a great Captain America, he also knew what it had cost the blond, as well as what it could cost him in the future.

It wasn't something he would wish on anyone, let alone someone he cared so much for.

Pressing his lips together in a watery smile, Tony lets himself find the briefest of comforts in the touch that Steve presses against his back. Solid. Warm. Grounding.

Tony had forgotten how much he missed that.

The touch, and the quiet words of acceptance (because that's what they are, to Tony at least), shakes something loose in him, lets him sink into his bones a little more as he watches the lantern drift on the current. When he laughs again, it's still wet, and there are tears that he wipes away quickly, but it's lighter.]

Most people just call that being a stubborn jerk, Steve. But thanks for putting it so nicely.

You are a stubborn jerk. I thought that went without saying.

[ Just in case Tony was under the impression that Steve Rogers was going to pull his punches on this talk. Not after the exchanges they've had. He's putting his opinions down like he's building a house out of them. ]

But you believe in what you do. That's what I admire in you, Tony. You always try to help those around you because you really believe it is right. It's not about you. You put yourself on the line for people again and again, even when it gets hard. You gave me a place to belong when I didn't have a lot to offer.

Sometimes I wonder why we do things. It seems crazy.

[ The light in the lantern brings out the charcoal sketches, highlighting the shadows and almost making the figures seem to move as the lantern drifts away from them. ]

We lose more than we gain.

[ when is Steve not putting his opinions down like that? Tony would find it strange if the blond wasn't being honest about things. the honesty earns Steve a wry look and a short laugh. with the truth said so easily, Tony finds it a little lighter in his chest, a little less weighed down by all the ghosts in his bones. ]

Yeah, yeah I am. But where would I be if I wasn't?

[ he is more than a little aware that his being so stubborn is almost something of a survival mechanism. the jerk part, well he could work on that.

though, as Steve speaks, Tony finds his eyes stinging a little again. finds the truth of those words, the sincerity that Steve imbues them with, drowning him a little. he never thought-- well, they were not words that Tony thought he would deserve from the man before him, let alone hear them. he wants to tell Steve that Tony sees the same in him, that he found something solid in Steve that Tony found nowhere else. that they managed to make something of a home in a world that was constantly in upheaval.

he only manages to lean in a little more, eyes still on the lantern and voice quiet as he tells Steve why he does what he does, why he hopes they all do what they do.]

It isn't about us though. [ Tony bows his head a little as the lantern is placed in the water.]

We aren't in this for fame or money or recognition; we are doing it because it is the right thing to be done, because we can do this and we believe that there is good in the world. That the future is worth fighting for, worth protecting no matter the cost.

[ there is a quiet moment while Tony watches the lantern flicker and drift, eyes still misted as he focuses on the past fading away.]

We lose a lot, but I don't think it is more than what is gained. I can't think that.

[ Steve looks up, silently questioning Tony's words when he says them. It isn't about us. He wonders how true that was. He had been the one that had told Tony before that it wasn't personal, that their fighting was about issues bigger than them, not about anything between them. But the way they fought, and the anger he's felt since returning, when everything was supposed to be over, says that maybe Steve lied back then. Maybe he lied to himself.

It feels personal. The figures of the lantern are proof of that. His eyes travel to follow Tony's line of sight to nothing, as if he might catch a glimpse of the memory Tony is watching play out by looking into that same space, but he doesn't see it in the water or the empty air around it. ]

The present is worth protecting too. There are people and memories that we have now that are worth fighting for.

[ He speaks softly, with a faint hint of hope in his voice. It's taken Steve a while, but he can't keep fighting against the changes. All it does is wear him down, and he still wants to believe they can save what they lost. ]

If we give up on the now, we can't expect to have a better future. Maybe we should start with what we have left.

[ it is not lost on Tony that they have had this conversation before, that they were on different sides of the question and answer the last time. that, once upon a time, Tony would have said that it was about what they had lost, and he can't stop the echo of a smile that drifts onto his face at the thought. the circumstances were not things to be looked upon fondly, but the fact that he remembered, that Steve remembered, is something that he enjoys.

there is a slow nod of his head, like he isn't sure if agreeing with Steve on this might shatter something, might break the moment between them, but--]

...the future depends on what you do today, then? I think-- that might be a better way to go about things, yeah.

[ turning from the lanterns, Tony gives Steve the same small smile. tentative but real. sometimes Tony feels a little selfish, wanting to fight just for himself, but with the way Steve puts it... it seems less about him and more about protecting those that he cares about. and wasn't that something Tony always wanted anyway?]

Build a better future with today as the foundation. Something solid, something good. You think you are up for the task then, Steve?

[ Steve raises an eyebrow at Tony's question. He doesn't say anything at first, but it's clear he's questioning the way Tony is asking him to rebuild their friendship when he doesn't think the fallout was his fault. There's resistance in his eyes, and a hardness as he weighs the "task" Tony wants from him against the responses he's gotten from his friend so far. ]

Are you?

[ He withholds judgment while he gets that answer. ]

It's a bigger step back for you to start over. Do you think you can build that future?

[ Whatever Tony might decide, Steve smiles. ]

You've had a rough time. What happened when I was gone?

[ Tony knows that he can't just expect Steve to work on this without him; this is something that lays more on him than it does the blond and Tony is very painfully aware of the fact. what he wants to know is if Steve is still willing to even try it. at the look, Tony gives him a look that is open and raw, more honesty in the look, and the words that follow, than he has allowed anyone to see in a long time.]

Yeah, I am. I have a lot of work to do, I think, relaying some groundwork before I can get to the elaborate bridges I miss so much, but it's worth it.

[ maybe it was supposed to be a metaphor, maybe not. but it is clear that Tony is aware he has things to do, things to fix before he can get back to anything like what he and Steve used to have.]

I think that it being a bigger step back or not, that the future is worth it. [ Tony turns back to the lanterns, something bright sparking in him that hasn't been there in a while. an ember of a thing, but he clings to it selfishly, swearing to fan it into something brighter. ]

Yeah that-- is a way of putting it. I continued with less than advisable choices, found someone even harder to talk down from an ideal than you oddly enough. [ he is laughing when he says it though because, even when he and Danvers are at each other's throats, Tony still loves her fiercely. much like he did (does) Steve. the next bit is quieter. ] Lost more than I thought actually, think I forgot why I fight so hard for the future. Kind of terrifying.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

introductory mingle: MEMORIA

[ iii ]

not sad, you said.

hdu

this is what you asked for

i know but that doesnt make it hurt less okok

enjoy your tears

/slowly drowns

/touches your face

that's it, im dead. way to make tony cry wow rood

it's not a party until tony cries

well then this party has started. woooo! : I

THROWS CONFETTI AND BALLOONS EVERYWHERE

/cries in the corner with a deflated balloon

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